AIBU to not want this SN child in the same class as mine

[PinkyU]

DD is 5 and moving into P2 which will be a composite 3/2 class. I’ve recently found out that a boy with severe challenging and frequently violent behaviour will be in the same class as a P3.

DD also has SN, cognitive, social emotional and physical needs. She is very vulnerable and significantly smaller than this other child. Small knocks and bumps can cause DD significant injuries such as dislocated hip etc. Their will only be 1 teacher and 1 TA in the class which in non negotiable due to staffing.

I’m concerned that not only will this boy take up a lot of teaching time (away from my DD), he is also a substantial physical risk to DD.

AIBU to discuss/request a change of class for this other child as DD cannot be moved to a different class due to her needs?

Where, not were

The child’s name has not been mentioned by TA, she skirted around the discussion without breaching any confidentiality
If you're able to make the inferences ayou have about a professional's view of a situation regarding another child (essentially that a member of staff has told you that your child isn't safe around another child) then the interaction was unprofessional.

You must have dc at schools were parents, staff and children don’t speak to each other Purple!
Purple sounds like every school I've worked in where staff are professional and don't discuss or strongly allude to other children when chatting to parents.
It's a basic expectation of working in school.

Cool,

While there is no breach of professional responsibilities where parents discuss children between themselves, there is a HUGE breach where a school employee discusses one child with another child's parents, especially in such terms.

The TA’s behaviour is understandably way down on my list of things to be unhappy about.

And taking disciplinary action with this TA is a great way to end up with one less TA in the school

That’s ridiculous. Why would I accept anything less that exemplary behaviour from someone supporting my most vulnerable students? If that TA got dismissed - unlikely, unless there’s a pattern - we would employ another person to do that job.

I'd raise your concerns with the teacher and ask to see a risk assesment. I'd want to know they had considered and were mitigating risks. I'd phrase it all around safety and your concerns about your daughters mobility.

Also think the TA is unprofessional AF for talking about the other boy like this. That's someone's little boy. And it's causing unnecessary drama and worry for you given that the school will unlikely change things even if you complain.

What terms are those? OP has said that the boy in question is a lovely child, who has issues, nothing derogatory there.

Morticia see above. DD’s head would need to be hanging on by a string to get one.

The major problem is that your child, and the other child, have not been statemented. Schools try very hard to avoid this. You need to push for it and keep on pushing until your daughter's support plan is in writing. Then you can demand that your daughter has the appropriate support. The fact that your ta is great isn't enough. People leave jobs

It doesn't matter if she said the child's name if you know which child she was discussing FGS. That is still a breach of confidentiality. And if she's willing to hint to you about her concerns that he will take time and attention away from your DD you can bet your bottom dollar she's hinting to the parents of kids with no SEN that your daughter will do the same in respect of theirs.

The TA’s behaviour is understandably way down on my list of things to be unhappy about.
Understandable in the situation.
But it was hugely unprofessional and you've minimised it.

How would you feel if they were working with another child and alluded to other parents that your child was hindering other people's education or your child was draining their attention and time? Would you be defending them then saying 'oh don't worry about it because DC wasn't named?'

So the TA is not 'your DD's TA'? She is a TA who happens to work in her current class, has been working with her and is likely to work in the class she is in next year, where she will be the TA for your DD, this other child, and the rest of the class? Your DD has no allocated TA hours in an EHCP or equivalent.

You - and your DD - don't 'own' a TA. You may 'get additional help from a TA regularly', but that TA can be anyone capable of doing the job, and if next year another child with greater needs is in your DD's class, then your DD will get much less help.

Unless you jump through the hoops.

If i were to be the head, SENCO, or even class teacher, and any of this came to my ears, I would be strongly suggesting a class - or job - move for that TA for next year.

She absolutely shouldn't be talking to you about it. Very very unprofessional

If it is normal for every class to have a TA, then you should probably consider the fact that other children in your DD's class are getting much less TA time than is 'the norm', due to her needs, and could well be 'being complained to' by the same or other TAs... would you find that acceptable?

Are you in Scotland? If so, my understanding is that it has a reasonably similar system to England's, including an appeal system. In England parents are regularly told that they stand no chance whatsoever of getting an EHCP, only to succeed equally as regularly on appeal. Don't give up before you've tried.

The school have to pay the first 10, 000 pounds towards provision for every ehcp. They simply cannot afford to do it for every child who may need it.

My primary concern here is keeping my DD from potentially being significantly injured, I’ll think more on the TA when I’m not preoccupied by the thought my kids could end up in A&E at any point in a few months.

I understand that I’m minimising it just now but that’s because currently it is not the priority.

The TA may be ‘amazing’ but she was ver, very unprofessional. If she hadn’t spoken to you, you would not be so upset and worried.

In terms of applying for an EHCP, it’s definitely worth further conversations wth the SENCO. It’s a shit ton of work to get it - be aware that local authorities are now also sometime approving the EHCP but saying the child’s needs don’t warrant any additional funding.

That’s really frustrating for parents and schools. What it does do is get you into the system, so needs are then reviewed annually, which might equate to actual support in the future.

I'm surprised at some of the replies in here. You've even said that both children do have complex special needs, and I don't think you have minimised those of the other child.

Ask at the school how they intend to safeguard your DD going forward. Avoid personalising it to the other child specifically though, so don't actually name him. They won't be able to discuss him with you, and more than likely there will be reasons why they can't place him elsewhere either.

Say that you are very concerned about the class grouping and general level of supervision given your DD's medical and other needs. I don't think that would be unreasonable.

You are the main advocate for your child, just as the other child's parents are for him. Not unreasonable to want reassurance, but it would be unreasonable to personalise your query too directly, because you wouldn't want anyone discussing your own child too critically and pointedly (probably with very few of the full facts in their possession).

So I guess you need to tread carefully. I'm not an expert though. I am sure there are others out there with more relevant experience.

I don’t think you’re being unreasonable.

It’s a shame it has to be this way, but you need to advocate for your child. No one else will.

I have two wee girls and i would be absolutely doing my nut if I thought they’d be facing physical danger in school.

In fact I’d probably move them.

As I said before, you can ask the school about robust plans for keeping your child safe.

You CANNOT ask for those procedures to include removing the other child from the class or the support that they need.

You may also have to accept that, if your DD has previously been the class TA's main concern, she may well get a lot less help next year (with two children with SEN in the same class), and you need to prepare yourself and her for this. For example, keeping your child safe may mean that the other child has the class TA 1:1 for the vast majority of the time, and while that might well keep your child safe, it may mean that other needs that she has are met by the class teacher or not met - unless you try to apply for an EHCP or similar for statutory help.

And again, while you can point this out to the school - and point out that it may impact on her progress, if you are in a 'high accountability for each child' country, as England is - you cannot demand that the solution is to put the two children into two different classes.

Indeed, if TAs are not the norm (you haven't said this?), and in most classes there would be a single teacher alone, then your DD is better off than she would be in another class, even if she has only minimal shared TA support

Are you not in England? Your view of who is able to get an Statutory plan is nothing like my experiences as a senco but I accept you must either be in a private school or a different county.

The TA is being wildly unprofessional. I wonder if any SLT from the school will read and recognise them from this post!