AIBU to not want this SN child in the same class as mine

[PinkyU]

DD is 5 and moving into P2 which will be a composite 3/2 class. I’ve recently found out that a boy with severe challenging and frequently violent behaviour will be in the same class as a P3.

DD also has SN, cognitive, social emotional and physical needs. She is very vulnerable and significantly smaller than this other child. Small knocks and bumps can cause DD significant injuries such as dislocated hip etc. Their will only be 1 teacher and 1 TA in the class which in non negotiable due to staffing.

I’m concerned that not only will this boy take up a lot of teaching time (away from my DD), he is also a substantial physical risk to DD.

AIBU to discuss/request a change of class for this other child as DD cannot be moved to a different class due to her needs?

YANBU at all, you have your own child interests to worry about, your child comes first with you, and that’s how it should be, just as the other child comes first with their parents.
Don’t go in with demands OP, but stand your ground. It’s all well and good posters on here saying you are in the wrong, but I bet they would feel exactly the same.

The TA has been amazing with DD she does all her personal care and has a firm bond with DD, it is unprofessional but her concern is for DD’s safety as she has sat with DD while nursing a partially dislocated ankle, she understands how vulnerable DD is because of this.

SEN or not, always do what is best for YOUR child as every one else is.
Maybe it is just my school but parents are in the school demanding even he smallest thing.

I now don't hesitate to ask for what is best for my DC because mine has been screwed over so many times for others benefit.

I recently asked for my DS to stay with 2 of his friends next year (I ran it by their mums first and they were OK with it) and I also asked for a certain form teacher as the other one is awful.

Your DC's needs DO trump other's needs in your book. Your chid can't stand up for themselves and you have to fight their corner.

I say this as someone who learn't the hard way with other selfish parents.

I also think it's wildly inappropriate for the TA to be discussing another child's SEN with you. How can you trust her? Aren't you worried she's telling other parents her concerns about your daughter?

Raspachino - the OP hadn't mentioned the mobility issues in the OP which is what I responding to.

OP - I would go in to see the head and ask what they steps they are taking to minimise risk to your DD.

I worked in an sen school teaching and the goverment dont react quickly in response to funding and a school would not put pupils at risk

Following your latest post, that TA deserves to be sacked. Regardless of her care for your daughter, discussing another child’s SN is totally out of order. How would you feel if she was talking to other parents about your daughter in the same way?

Without statutory provision I'm afraid you can't decide your child gets the TA and that the TA is your child's.

The TA is a member of support staff and can be deployed by the head to meet the needs of school. Neither child is more entitled to the TA than the other I'm afraid.

You are well within your rights to seek clarity on how your child will be kept safe.

You are not within your rights to be speculating about anotjer child and the TA in question is being woefully unprofessional by discussing another (vulnerable) child with you in the way you claim.

We’ve not discussed the other child’s specific needs at all, unfortunately due to several serious incidents within school the child’s behaviour is commonly known.

He is a lovely child and he deserves to be supported but his behaviours do constitute significant physical harm to my DD and that needs to be mundane priority.

I’m a SENCO :

Funding - or lack of it - means that I don’t ever, ever have enough staff to even adequately support the children in my care. Local authorities have made it increasingly difficult to get an EHCP - because funding - so there are dozens of children in school who need the support just as much as those with an EHCP. Consequently in class support is spread more thinly. I don’t know how to answer parents who say “give my child more support”, because it’s just not there.
We are constantly told to ensure quality first teaching as the best way of supporting all students, but especially those with AEN. Again, I don’t know how I can do that, 100% of the time - and sometimes, that’s just not enough.

OP - you can’t demand that another child is moved. If the school already have an “excellent plan” in place, then there is no reason to assume this won’t continue. Of course you will worry - but if they’ve sorted it so far, they’ll carry on. You may just not have been given details about other children before.

I would be taking disciplinary action against the TA who has had this conversation with you - I feel furious on behalf of the other child and his parents.

The TA cares and can see issues ahead, and she obviously wants to help OP’s child, and is probably concerned about how she herself is going to manage!

unfortunately due to several serious incidents within school the child’s behaviour is commonly known.

Irrelevant. She still shouldn’t be discussing it with you.

The TA cares and can see issues ahead, and she obviously wants to help OP’s child, and is probably concerned about how she herself is going to manage!

So what? You can’t talk to a parent about other children. She should be raising her concerns with the head/senco.

And taking disciplinary action with this TA is a great way to end up with one less TA in the school ffs!

Irrelevant. She still shouldn’t be discussing it with you.
Agree.
So what? You can’t talk to a parent about other children. She should be raising her concerns with the head/senco.
This.

Operational concerns should be raised internally, not discussed with a parent who is (understandably!) already concerned about the situation.

And taking disciplinary action with this TA is a great way to end up with one less TA in the school ffs!

There are always more TAs out there. You can’t gave people behaving unprofessionally without consequences. This is a massive breach of trust.

She has Purple but there’s been no change.

The child’s name has not been mentioned by TA, she skirted around the discussion without breaching any confidentiality.

You say you are not in a country where children have EHCPs.

What is the mechanism, where you live, for obtaining funding / statutory support for children with SEN?

Your first move should be to follow the process to do this, to ensure adequate funding and support for your child - with e.g. a full-time 1:1 TA, your child would be protected from potential harm from another child, and with the statutory process in place, the TA could not legally be pulled away to work with another child (unless, as a previous poster said, to allow the 1:1 supported child some independence).

Otherwise, as others have said, you CAN ask for robust procedures to keep your child safe, including from the known (foreseeable) risk from this child (te school can't sidestep that requirement by pleading funding - they need to keep your child safe). What you CAN'T demand is for those procedures to be the removal of the other child.

You must have dc at schools were parents, staff and children don’t speak to each other Purple!

The child’s name has not been mentioned by TA, she skirted around the discussion without breaching any confidentiality.

Utter bollocks. I can understand you wanting to defend her but this is absolutely out of order.

Yanbu

You must have dc at schools were parents, staff and children don’t speak to each other Purple!

No, I am a teacher of children with special needs and disabilities and our TAs all know what’s acceptable and what isn’t. This is totally unacceptable.

I totally agree you can't talk to anyone else about a child but I do have sympathy with a woman who may be frustrated with some of the unworkable plans put in place by her school which will affect her ability to do her job.

You can't ask the school to put him in a class where he will not have adequate support because of your concerns over your child. If you don't like the service they are providing either find a different stage school or move into the private sector. There are lots of lovely independent schools around that have sufficient funds to accommodate additional needs.

Cantkeep about a million hoops to jump through. There are kids who are tube fed and have daily seizures who can’t get a statutory plan in place, my DD and this boy have no chance.