AIBU to not want this SN child in the same class as mine

[PinkyU]

DD is 5 and moving into P2 which will be a composite 3/2 class. I’ve recently found out that a boy with severe challenging and frequently violent behaviour will be in the same class as a P3.

DD also has SN, cognitive, social emotional and physical needs. She is very vulnerable and significantly smaller than this other child. Small knocks and bumps can cause DD significant injuries such as dislocated hip etc. Their will only be 1 teacher and 1 TA in the class which in non negotiable due to staffing.

I’m concerned that not only will this boy take up a lot of teaching time (away from my DD), he is also a substantial physical risk to DD.

AIBU to discuss/request a change of class for this other child as DD cannot be moved to a different class due to her needs?

My first reaction after reading your post was to say ODFOD

As you later decided to drop in dds own sen needs I'm maybe more sympathetic.

As you are the one with the issue I'd be looking into your dd to move schools.

I work with kids with ASNs in Scotland. Whether rightly or wrongly, the situation is this:
No child has a legal entitlement to support, despite what many parents think.
An EHCP is called a Child's Plan.
In class support is prioritised by level of need.
In my school (mainstream secondary) kids are prioritised by firstly physical need (so there is no danger to them), VI/HI, ASD, then kids with SpLD (dyslexia etc.)

This support is SHARED support - unless kids have a funded specific number of hours of SfLA support (almost never a LS teacher) which is EXTREMELY rare. (In my massive school of nearly 1200 kids, we only have five kids who have funded support, four out of those are out of authority and Looked After in our council area and only one of those four has a dedicated SfLA solely for her)
Unfortunately it all comes down to money.

The SfLA who has discussed another pupil, however circuitously, with another parent is lucky not to have her arse handed to her on a plate.

However unfair it may seem, your daughter's ASNs do not trump those of another child. In this case it looks very like the support will be shared and the class is small enough for it to happen.

So....YABU. Not the answer you wanted but that's the reality. You are free to take your daughter elsewhere if you feel the school is not meeting her needs.

I work in a SEN school but have also working in mainstream. I totally understand your concerns.
In mainstream, I have seen whole classes moved out of the room because of one child where it was deemed unsafe and I have seen children come very close to being in close contact with flying objects.
When dealing with challenging behaviour it is essential that staff are trained to deal with it. They should be TeamTeach trained or the like and should know what and how to deal with this behaviour.
Unfortunately in mainstream staff are not equipped to deal with these situations now do staff get the correct training due to budgets.

In SEN schools we have constant training and CPD so we know how and when to intervene to keep all students safe.
If the staff are not up to the job with this boy then yes I'd be very worried. If they have a dedicated TA who has the experience and knowledge to deal with it, I'd be less so.

Sadly there are increasing numbers of potentially volatile children in mainstream schools and neither these children or their classmates get the safe and supportive school environment they need. We have seen first hand at two different primary schools that meltdowns are insufficiently managed when objects or children are damaged, but as soon as a staff member is hurt then the big guns come out and a placement in a specialist setting is magicked out of nowhere. The dual standard is distressing, but at least it shows that there are still specialist places about.

If both the children have an EHCP, they will have been assessed and the school will decide how much individual care each child warrants.

ROFL

The school can only make a decision based on their budget, not need. Many EHCPs don't come with funding and if the school can't afford more staff there won't be much individual care.

The system is unworkable and the children (including NT children who have to deal with disruption) are suffering.

Sweet

Your lack of understanding of the school system is extreme, but pales intosignificance when compared to your lack of understanding of SEMH. Fingers crossed you don’t work in a school.

Sweet he has every right to access education in his local school if that’s his parents choice, I can’t comment on wether it’s a supportive enough environment for his needs, but he absolutely should not be forced to leave because of his needs. That being said for our individual circumstances it would most likely be safer for my DD to not be in the same class due to risk of injury.

He absolutely does not choose to have challenging behaviour, it’s not a case of “won’t behave”, it’s a case of not having the tools to moderate his response to feeling overwhelmed.

It’s overwhelmingly sad for him that people bestow a horrid reputation on him for something he is still learning to control. I don’t judge his needs in the slightest, I just have a responsibility to advocate strongly for my own child.

Pinky and yet, from your passed on comments, passed on from the TA, people ARE judging this little boy in the most awful way.

Have reported your disgusting post Womb, a 5 year old boy innocent of anything but special needs should not be denigrated by you and your warped view of life

this thread is going to be deleted because MNHQ doesn't tolerate any discussion where SEN kids are involved.

Before they do, I am shocked by the nasty posts against the OP. SEN or no-SEN, isn't it natural for parents to want the best for their own kids? Of course it's not BU. The fact that the school cannot provide the best environment is a different issue, but no violence should ever be tolerated against a child, and there are no valid excuse!

People absolutely are, I am not and I can only control my own feelings and responses.

The TA was not judging she was giving her experienced opinion on the risk to my DD.

The TA was not judging she was giving her experienced opinion on the risk to my DD.

Which is undoubtedly coloured by having to work with two complex children this September, one with very challenging behaviour. Don’t be naive and think you’ve got an unbiased opinion there.

YANBU - we are in a similar situation with a SN child in DS P5 class who is extremely violent and sexually assaults other children. There are kids who refuse to come to school because of him. But we are fobbed off that the school is inclusive and the child is left to terrorise other kids.

Those who are acting outraged have perhaps not experienced what it’s like to have a violent child in their child’s class. I worry he will do another child a serious injury tbh.

I don't care if I'm not tolerant of his needs. I'm glad he's not in my child's class and that my son isn't at risk of a flying chair crashing into his head

Fortunately most schools don’t share details with parents. There could well be a child with SEMH in your child’s class - but perhaps they are being supported well to manage.

I mean this sincerely: I hope you never struggle with your own SEMH - and if you do? That you are surrounded by more compassion than you have.

I have also reported Womb post it is shocking disabilities is not the same as NT people violence people with disiblities cannot control these impulses.

People refuse to pay more tax / vote for governments that cut all special needs funding to beyond the bone. There is only 4% of the special provisional school there were only 15 years ago. Right now there is not enough places for children with extreme needs never mind the less severe children.

Oh and the tories want to cut the number of special schools in my area by 50% in the next 4 years as apprently a area covering over 2 million people only need 2 special schools on for behivoural problems and the other for blind and deaf children all the rest should be able to coup in mainstream apprently.

womb’s post has been deleted now in case anyone missed it.

SWEET you can be happy it’s not an environment your child will experience without being a complete bellend about it.

In judging this child, you’re judging mine (who has injured me and herself previously) and any other child with SN. We’re not a tribe you want to fuck with.

I would ask for a written risk assessment and a meeting with SENCO to discuss your daughters needs next year.
Does your child get pupil premium an is there a educational care plan?

Move your child if you’re bothered

I'd also question who is supposed to supervise the boy when your daughter needs to be taken out of class for personal care etc. I don't think you are wrong to raise any of this OP as long as you don't explicitly mention the other child. Not wrong to ask how you dd will cope without what has been her effective 121.

If your daughter injures you nobody is interested. If she's injuring other children at school then she's doing to others exactly what you're complaining about.

@Smile my son would tell me if there's a kid in his class who kicks off, there's a child on year 6 who everyone knows about.

These comments are awful. Is our education system really in this much of a mess? I don't have any experience of this, my daughter is only 2 but Jesus Christ.

Sweet

If children with SEMH are supported to manage effectively, they don’t need to communicate through challenging behaviour.

As I said, I hope you are treated with more compassion than you show.