To think you don't have a party at home beyond 11pm?

[critiqueofeveryday]

Neighbours in the next street (!) had a party on Saturday night in their garden. The noise started out at reasonable levels at 7pm. Predictably, as they drank into the night, voices got louder, and then the turned up the music to compensate.

We have really, really good double glazing and external insulation. We had all the windows shut, and we were still kept awake until they finally decided to pack up at 3am.

AIBU to think that's it's unacceptable to have loud, late night parties at home? I mean, this is literally what late night licensed pubs and bars are for, right? Why, why, why have it in your own garden, when you must know you are disturbing a whole neighbourhood?

user1485342611 How is asking people not to have a party past 11pm on a weekend in summer NOT asking people to put their lives on hold when she is throwing out having anemia as an excuse? It is very selfish of her to expect people to stop living their lives because she has anemia which is not a life and death situation.

and as long as you bear in mind that some of your neighbours will have to be up early for work, even on a Sunday, some will be unwell, some will have had a hellish week at work and really look forward to finally get some sleep, some will have to be up early for a hospital appointment - my local hospitals seem so busy that they now seem to schedule surgeries and other on Sundays too ! life doesn't stop because it's a Saturday night.

At least if the neighbours have enough warning, they can organise themselves and letting them know the time the noise will stop is helpful.

It's unreasonable to expect everyone to have to close their windows on a summer night and wear hear plugs.

If your neighbours start loudly gardening or DIYing the following morning at 6am, you know they are pissed off

Salem she is asking people not to continue making a racket after 11pm i.e. move inside and keep the music down. It's called a bit of give and take, not 'putting your life on hold'.

And I'm pretty sure if the neighbours had called in beforehand and asked politely if it would be okay with her if they made a bit of noise outside until midnight OP would have agreed. The not knowing when the noise is going to abate is what makes people start to get anxious at about 11pm.
A bit of communication and compromise!

It is very selfish of her to expect people to stop living their lives
no, what is selfish is being inconsiderate and unreasonable. Loud music at any time is rude, loud parties at night are selfish and rude. What is selfish is disturbing others.

If living your life means you are being ridiculously noisy, move in a quiet area where you don't disturb anyone else. If you chose to live with neighbours, then you accept that you will have to keep the noise down.

I know it's annoying but if they don't make it a habit I would be that cross . I would prefer one party to constant noise from screechy children and dogs barking . We quite often have bbqs and parties but with no more 8 people and usually turn off the music at 12 . Our neighbours don't have parties but they have dogs that bark constantly so I reckon fairs fair 🤷‍♀️

3am does sound unreasonable. But I don't think a one off would drive me nuts.

It would be extremely inconsiderate if it was in the week -- one of our neighbour's young adult children did that on a Sunday night a few weeks ago. It was a hot night so we had our window open & could hear them until nearly 2am. I concluded that the parents were away. If it was a regular thing I would say something.

Even though it's not possible to take legal action I'm pretty sure it's ok to ask the police to have a word. Most stations have a local (non emergency) number.

I'm just still a bit at the idea that you can't have fun indoors with quieter music after midnight and still have a party!?

For me the best bits have always been after midnight when the music goes off and people loosen up and chat more. Always when the best revelations come out ;)

My family occasionally have parties that last into the early hours. I think as long as it's only occasionally and you inform the neighbours beforehand that you're having a party as it's whatever occasion, it's fine.
A party finishing at 11 would be one rubbish party.

Blimey, when you move to assuming people are dangerous simply because they have a one off party that goes on late, you've moved past pearl clutching and judgey pant wedgies into some form of bizzare alternate universe.

No noise after 11 pm. If you do you're a skank. Of all things. And you might be dangerous.

I'd have to guess a lot of isolated people with limited to no social life posting on here.

I'm going with YA damn well NBU. Loud music outside at 3am, keeping the entire damn neighbourhood awake, is bang of out order. The party should go inside when it gets late.

As someone else pointed out, once a year per household, if everyone did that then we'd be kept awake by loud garden parties somewhere almost every night.

I'm also sort of with you on house parties. If you have a really spacious house it's fine, but trying to host a party with loads of people somewhere tiny is the kind of thing I'd have done as a student. The people who disturbed everyone didn't even try to get their guests in their home, they just made a racket outdoors in the middle of the night instead.

Oh grow up Bluntness.

People are criticising neighbours who have loud music blaring and people shouting outside until all hours in a residential area. There is nothing unreasonable about that.

Neither is it unreasonable, in this day and age, to be nervous about approaching neighbours you don't know and asking them to keep the party noises down. You are just as likely to be told to fuck off, or to get a drunk and aggressive response as you are to receive a 'oh sorry about that' followed by music turned down.

Perhaps it's you who has led the sheltered life if you don't realise that.

It's just a cheap, skanky thing to do. If you want to have a party, hire a proper venue

I totally disagree with this. It depends on circumstances.
We've had occasional special occasion BBQ parties in our garden with friend and their families staying over, that go into early hours and have prewarned and invited neighbours. Music goes off well before 11pm and isn't loud. It's more chatting after then, taking it inside usually by 12 except for the smokers.
DC have camped out in our garden with friends and still been talking early hours with flashlights and scary stories, as have our neighbours who have also had parties. I quite like hearing music and chatter from a neighbours party as long as not every weekend.

The odd party every now and then, like our neighbours or we do (1-2x year), doesn't worry me and isn't at all anti social. It's our home. Our neighbours talk to us and would text me if it was too noisy. (tbf I am vigilant about no excessive noise and our gardens are all large). Our neighbours 3 doors down had an "end of GCSE party "last Friday (we weren't invited sadly!) for their 16 year old & his mates. And a month or so ago another neighbour had
a party with fireworks for a 50th anniversary. There was a similiar wedding party the otherside last year that was very joyous!!

DC and I watch fireworks from our garden or window if that's the case...

I guess I don't begrudge my neighbours their celebrations of good times. God knows, there are many sad things that can happen.
My sister's funeral last year, an impromptu'afterwake' wake at my cousin's home after the venue, as it was held 200miles away in my sister's hometown & became a very late night of drinking including some groups out on patio, I left (sober) with my DC at 12:30pm whilst it was still going. That was chatting and reminiscing, not music though.

when you move to assuming people are dangerous simply because they have a one off party that goes on late, you've moved past pearl clutching and judgey pant wedgies into some form of bizzare alternate universe.

well done you for being happy to confront a group of drunk and loud people on your own. If you cannot comprehend that it's not such an easy thing to do for everybody, you are clearly not very bright.
Why should anyone have to go to a house to be abused by a group of antisocial drunks? No one has loud music without being aware that it's disturbing the neighbours.

I am not worried about people, assaulting me would only allow me to call 999 and stop the mess. I just have very young children home, I wouldn't leave them alone if I was the only adult around.

The scum that disturb the neighbourhood at 2am will not be reasonable people you can politely ask to turn the noise down. On which planet do you live?

The problem is the selfish tests on here that think the occasional party that keeps neighbours awake til 3 am is fine are either outstandingly stupid, have no concept of society or just selfish cunts. Yes YOU might have a party 4 times a year but there are easily 100 houses within ear shot of my house. So if everyone decides to be equally stupid/selfish that averages more than one party every night of the year. Your occasional disturbance relies on everyone around you not behaving like a CFT. No one wants to be kept awake by twatty neighbours. IMO playing music outside after 11 should be banned. No one should have to sit in their garden listening to your choice of music. But no doubt you think having a larf with your mates, listening to Chelsea have a row with Darren cos he looked at Chardonnay laughing hysterically when Kyle tries to impersonate tom Jones is absolutely your right fuck the old person up the road who is seriously ill, the petson trying to get their kids to sleep, the person who has to get up at 5 to drive a hgv across the country (let’s hope he doesn’t fall asleep at the wheel) because you have rights that trump the rights of everyone else. I mean God forbid someone else’s needs to sleep/earn a living come above your need to discuss love island with your besties at 3am in your garden!

Oh last time I confronted someone for this kind of thing the threatened to punch me (even better as I was 9 months pregnant) same twat also nearly ran over me pushing the pram cos he couldn’t be arsed to look where he was going! It is always that type of person always! Maybe they are just too thick to actually think through the consequences of their actions!

I'm with you OP...

Every year a house in the next road held a birthday party, every year it started around 2pm on the Saturday and finished at 5am Sunday morning....I WORK weekends...as do some of the other neighbours...
Last few years I got a ladder on my bottom fence and shouted (up and across) to them that if I hear it after 11 they will be complained about...every time they bleated that its 'once a year'...so they got told in which case hire a venue...they have no 'need' to party, we have need to sleep!
So every year the environmental health were called, and they arrived with police..after numerous calls from the neighbours. It went down for a bit then cranked up until 5 ish...
2 years ago it started on the Saturday...we waited until 11, checked the wind direction set fire to the biggest smelliest/smokiest bonfire...they yelled and screamed...then at 5am we and four sets of neighbours all started lawnmowers and cut the grass (gardens 100ft in length)...they yelled out the windows 'STFU we are trying to sleep' We all yelled back 'we were last night, you kept us up, what's the problem'
Last year no party....waiting to see what they do this year..

If that makes us arses too... fine..playing them at their own game clearly had more impact...

I think the problem that many posters here have had is that because the OP had one local house party that was noisy and inconsiderate, that means all house parties are cheap and nasty.

I mean, pub prices aren't that bad in my part of the world anyway (£3 for a pint, £4 for a glass of wine). But also, my city has a huge amount of cheap, post-industrial space that is sufficiently far from residential areas that it can be used for loud things (e.g. bands practising). This also means there are LOADS of very atmospheric party venues.

Aren't you the lucky one then. I live just outside the M25 so drinks are much more than that. We don't have plenty of cheap, post-industrial space, let alone far from residential areas. Any venues need to be licensed, so they need to recoup the costs of that as well as those of running a specific party venue (hint, not cheap), and have very strict rules on hours they can operate. Not everyone lives in an area well supplied with party venues, most of us have the choice of a village hall (close at 11pm if you're lucky) or a revolting upstairs room at the local pub which MAY have an extension on hours but charges the earth for drinks. Oh, or go in a group to the local night clubs in my town filled with druggies & drunken yobs, that get raided by the police regularly.

I agree that noisy inconsiderate parties are a pain, however the OP seems to say that as she can get a nice, cheap to rent, cheap drinks venue reasonably close to home that's open all hours with comfortable chairs & sofas etc, then anyone can. THAT was what got my back up, the implication that people have house parties because they are "cheap and skanky" people rather than the massive cost and inconvenience of other arrangements.

OP would definitelu have got more sympathetic responses without the terrible descriptive words. As it is, i'm secretly hoping for another house party this weekend --very aware of how petty that makes me sound btw

Feckitall
I like your neighbours style. May I also suggest barbecuing sardines at 6am if the noisy ones have their windows open to add to the general gardening noise.

The problem is that most of us don't want to start a war, just want to live peacefully and it's sad to have to prove a point that should be obvious.

most of us have the choice of a village hall (close at 11pm if you're lucky)

but that's exactly the point and what some posters should understand. After 11pm, noise is not acceptable! 11pm is bad enough frankly, but fair enough we all have to compromise. It should be a clue that if you can't make a racket in a hall past 11pm, neither can you in your own garden. The neighbours are exactly the same.

"I agree that noisy inconsiderate parties are a pain, however the OP seems to say that as she can get a nice, cheap to rent, cheap drinks venue reasonably close to home that's open all hours with comfortable chairs & sofas etc, then anyone can."

What you're missing is the fact that the neighbours I'm complaining about live in the same city as I do, and can therefore hire the same spaces at the same costs. Hence the fact that they are neighbours, not random people on the other side of the country.

Even if you live somewhere more expensive, however, you simply don't have the right to keep your neighbours awake for hours on end after midnight with noise pollution. The party I am talking about was in the next road and it kept me awake through closed double glazed windows, white noise and ear plugs.

ploppy - just cut the noise at midnight - music turned down, people moved indoors. And make sure you're not so pissed you 'lose all track of time' and forget!

Never acceptable and a bit common. 😀

I was also kept awake by a neighbour's party on Saturday night till around 2:30 am. I'd not long been home from being abroad on holiday in a place which was lovely and clean and quiet. It made me feel very sad to be back in the UK.

If I am having a party I will turn the music off at 11am