To think you don't have a party at home beyond 11pm?

[critiqueofeveryday]

Neighbours in the next street (!) had a party on Saturday night in their garden. The noise started out at reasonable levels at 7pm. Predictably, as they drank into the night, voices got louder, and then the turned up the music to compensate.

We have really, really good double glazing and external insulation. We had all the windows shut, and we were still kept awake until they finally decided to pack up at 3am.

AIBU to think that's it's unacceptable to have loud, late night parties at home? I mean, this is literally what late night licensed pubs and bars are for, right? Why, why, why have it in your own garden, when you must know you are disturbing a whole neighbourhood?

pm obviously

playing loud music isn't a human right, is it?

OP "Yes, I've thrown parties. I hire a fucking pub, restaurant or bar to do it. I don't have it in my own home, where the noise will affect all the neighbours"

you hire a fucking pub every time you throw a bbq? 🤣👌

I didn’t think it was allowed tbh. I thought you were only allowed to make loud noise in a domestic property until 11pm then it had to stop by law. Just how licenced venues have to stop at 11pm if they are in a built up area, no?

Anyway, I am totally with you. It’s selfish beyond all measures.

O come off it suggesting a house is not suitable for a party is ridiculous. Even the queen has house parties. Your issue is 3am is too late to e loud. 11 is silly to wind down the noise but 12 I think is ok on a sat night. Party should then move to town or the chill out phase. If this is a one off though it seems fine.

Also yes you can rent a pub but you would also have to pay for drinks. House parties are cheaper.

The thing is people don't work 9 to 5 Monday to Friday anymore. Many people do shift work and work sundays. Or people have kids who wake at 5/6am and don't think "oh it's Sunday morning I better give Mum and dad a lay in because they've been awake from a neighbours party until 2/3am."

It is extremely selfish and parties should be reigned in after midnight with music turned down. Anyone who tells people they should move to the country with no neighbours if they dare to complain about some selfish idiotic neighbours party noise in the middle of the night should bloody well move themselves as they are the ones being antisocial.

If you want noisy parties until 3am then move to where you won't disturb the neighbours! Not everyone can just have a lay in on Sunday to make up for lost sleep on a Saturday night!

unemployed - No, what on earth? I don't like barbecues. I don't see the point in them. I don't like eating food that is burnt on the outside and cold on the inside. I don't like eating stuff out of packets. I don't see the point in cooking in a sub-standard way outdoors when you have a much more accurate hob and oven inside. I am sure there are some people who are absolutely awesome at cooking from scratch on the barbecue, but they literally represent 1 in 1000 of the people who think they are awesome at it.

Literally none of my friends and family 'do' barbecuing. I haven't been to one since I was in school. If we want to eat out, we go to a restaurant.

When I was younger I had many house parties, it was so much fun and it is so much nicer to entertain at home than have to go out. I was proud of my flat and wanted to entertain my friends there. Also pubs close, so you need somewhere for the after party! 90% of the time I think we were very considerate of neighbours and would try to calm things down after midnight and stop people smoking outside etc. The other ten percent Would be where things got a bit too lively and we lost track of time! Now I have a baby, obviously this isn't going to happen again and it is definitely annoying being kept awake by other people. But I think on a Friday and Saturday night you have to be realistic that people can do what they want in their own homes within reason, especially in cities where houses are very close together. We have a neighbour who likes to set off fireworks at random parties throughout the year... I was livid the first time as my baby had just gone to sleep and it had take me 5 hours to settle her. Unexpectedly she slept through the whole thing, and only woke up to a creak on the floorboards when I crept to bed my point is that if this is a one off occurrence, then you should stop being so grumpy and have an early night this evening! If they do it every single weekend, then why don't you knock on the door and ask them to keep it down? I'm sure they would be mortified to think they were keeping you up every weekend.

I think what gets me is that by doing this the party people are saying "We matter and our enjoyment matters".

They are also saying:
"Your need to sleep doesn't matter to me"
"Your children's need to sleep doesn't matter to me"
"If you have work or a long drive tomorrow I really don't care"
"If you'd planned a quiet dinner or a film night I'm going to ruin it"

That's what annoys me so much.

I don't know many upstairs of pubs that you can generally carry on until 3am in. Most of them want you out by last orders, so 12/1am.

Some people don't like bars/clubs as you have to have a minimum spend/amount of people, and you can't usually provide your own food which means it can get costly.

As a one off I'd be annoyed but it's understandable, if it was all the time I'd be getting very angry, and I'd make a noise complaint or go over and say something.

Critique, while your opinions are valid (but don't expect anyone else to share them) you sound an absolute bundle of condescension and snobbery and I'm eternally grateful that you don't appear to live near me. Do you have any friends? Like actual people who do more than simply tolerate you? You do not come across well!

Mouse No and it is not illegal in pubs in the way you seem to think. Pubs are given licences with conditions. It is illegal to break those conditions. And pubs can usually get special licences for a special occasion which means they can open later.

crunchymint - but it's not normal for pubs to get a special license for an event, unless you're going to be spending a lot of money. Every pub back room I've always hired has had a minimum spend over the bar/hire fee and kick out at 11 pm as normal.

No, what on earth? I don't like barbecues. I don't see the point in them.

You know sometimes other people like different things to you? And that's OK? Because your issue at the moment seems to be that not everyone has the exact same tastes and high levels of disposable income as you.

FWIW, DW is coeliac, and also lactose intolerant. Eating out with her is a nightmare. Getting a babysitter is also a total pain as we don't have family nearby, so hosting a BBQ or party is one of the few ways we can socialize and mark special occasions.

You think everyone should pop home to bed at 11pm? I agree 3:30 is a bit off but 11pm yo end a party altogether is ridiculous.

How is it cheap and skanky to have a party at your house Critique? My parents have a party at their detached house every Christmas so all of the family can get together. Nobody is too loud and nobody disturbs the neighbours as people are respectful and don't have music blasting out into the street and garden. Why should anyone have to end it at 11pm? That's frankly ridiculous!! People are partying away until 4am and in 20 years not one neighbour has complained.
Why do you think other people should live their lives by your rules? Just because you hire a venue for a social gathering, doesn't mean everyone else should.

I can't see an issue if it's a one off or a couple of times a year.

I had a marquee in my garden for my 30th plus 20 last year. It went on till 1:30ish. It wasn't mega loud and I'd had a word with all my neighbours beforehand. If that makes me cheap and skanky then so be it.

I have no problem with parties ending before 11

That's really big of you op

Some incredible selfishness on here, which does give a good insight into how the minds of those people who throw loud inconsiderate parties work:

Oh I can't put my life on hold.
It's cheaper for me than hiring a venue, so tough.
Just go and live in the middle of the countryside if you don't want to be ket awake by loud music and shouting.

Why should anyone have to end it at 11pm?

no one is saying anything should end at 11pm, what people are saying is that your noise should stop bothering your neighbours from 11pm, if you are rude enough to disturb them before 11pm because it's legal.

It's common sense, it's basic respect for other people, and it's also the law. If you want to be noisy all night, find a place in the middle of nowhere, surrounded by neighbours it is not acceptable.

Who are you to decide when people can have an early night, have to get up early for work, or start a night shift?

If every house and flat on a street held a party a couple of times a year no one will ever get any sleep, what a ridiculous idea.

At the very least, report noisy F to the council, every single time. I have friends over regularly, we are just not antisocial.

If it's a one off then really what's the fuss?

It's summer, warm, people want to have fun in their own garden. Who cares!?

We have a neighbor that plays rave music now and then until late but I couldn't care less.

You also say about hiring s room in a pub. A lot of pubs close at 11 to 12 too. Finding one later is a mission never mind 1 that will kick out guests cause you wsnt to hire a whole section.

More used to going to the pub then home for an after party lol.

unemployed - yes, I do have friends. It might surprise you but there are loads of people like me who like restaurants, bars and pubs and generally going out.

Like I said, I live in a city. Late licenses in pubs are not a problem. Clubs are not a problem. There are literally dozens and dozens of venues catering to many different tastes.

Dragon - your parents party doesn't sound cheap and skanky, because you weren't outside playing music and yelling at 3am.

For the last time, I'm saying stop the party outside, turn the music down, and HEAD INSIDE at 11pm. You can then continue all night, all the next day, and all the next night if you want, without being remotely cheap and skanky. Sitting in the garden, hollering along at the top of your voice to S Club Seven at 2.45am, however, IS cheap and it IS skanky.

YANBU

We have students at the back of our house and in the summer the parties can go on until 5.am.

I don't even care if it is a one off. Being kept awake by pissed people and loud music till early hours of the morning is shit. If you want a house party just keep it down and keep it inside after 11pm ish.

It is especially not fun when you have to work the next day on a couple of hours sleep. It is even worse when you have kids who don't sleep through it and they spend the next day being irritable.

Have a house party but keep the noise down late at night and if you can't do that have your fun somewhere else. I like a party as much as the next person but i'm not selfish enough to keep the neighbourhood awake to do it.