To think you don't have a party at home beyond 11pm?

[critiqueofeveryday]

Neighbours in the next street (!) had a party on Saturday night in their garden. The noise started out at reasonable levels at 7pm. Predictably, as they drank into the night, voices got louder, and then the turned up the music to compensate.

We have really, really good double glazing and external insulation. We had all the windows shut, and we were still kept awake until they finally decided to pack up at 3am.

AIBU to think that's it's unacceptable to have loud, late night parties at home? I mean, this is literally what late night licensed pubs and bars are for, right? Why, why, why have it in your own garden, when you must know you are disturbing a whole neighbourhood?

expecting your neighbours never to have a party and not make noise as they might disturb you, after 11 pm is what makes you selfish and annoying.

I agree that this is a CF statement of the highest order. You don't know what's going on in your neighbours' lives. My DD2 has night terrors and has disturbed nights every now and again (it used to happen much more often), and it leaves DH and me exhausted in the morning.

There will very likely be a neighbour who is unwell and needs their sleep.

Sleep deprivation is used as a form of torture, because the majority of people don't function well if they don't have enough.

That's why the majority on here are saying that obviously you're allowed to have a party, but it's always totally inconsiderate to keep your neighbours awake beyond 11/12 o'clock. You can carry on drinking and having fun inside.

I was heavily pregnant at the time and did stick my head out the window and shout down to ask if they could turn music down and perhaps have some consideration, but they didn't even seem to hear me.

"They were told to fuck off."

Classy!

@Uyulala - that really, really sucks. At least things get muffled into a kind of thumping and screaming a street away. You must have been able to hear every word. Hard to sleep through that, even with ear plugs.

As a one off I think it's fine and lets be honest house parties are usually way better than venue parties. This weekend there was Eid Mubarak and the end of most GCSEs and it's summer and the World Cup starting. A much more appealing night for partying than NYE imo.

Being rude to your neighbours isn't ok clearly.

If you chose to live in an area where you have neighbours in close proximity then the occasional party should be expected. Expecting no one to make noise after 11 in case it disturbs you is highly unreasonable, particularly when it is a one off like this sounds.

There has to be compromise on both sides. As long as it's not a regular or even semi regular occurance then I think that's fine.

Houses are for living in. They are not night clubs. If people want to party all night long, they need to take their guests and fuck off to some pub/bar/club/restaurant that will gladly accommodate them.

If it was a once off I think YABU. If it’s frequent then it’s unreasonable.

We had neighbours several doors down that had a very loud party that went on until 4am. In the 6 years we had lived there it was the only party they had. Another neighbour had a very loud party that went on until 2am and then petered out and again was the only party they had in those 6 years. So 6 years, 2 loud parties that went late. Both parties kept our young kids up as the noise was LOUD but honestly 2 nights in 6 years, live and let live I say, hardly reasonable to storm over or call the police. Our current neighbourhood has only seen one party in 8 years, loud and finished around 3am. If parties are that infrequent in the neighbourhood then it’s only an inconvenience for a night and then a hellish day if you have young kids grouchy from lack of sleep then nothing for a few years. Meh

Lol I don't think she knows what the word 'skank' even means.

"Expecting no one to make noise after 11 in case it disturbs you is highly unreasonable"

It really isn't. There are places you can go to be noisy after midnight. Disturbing a whole neighbourhood is not OK, one off or not.

House parties are just cheap and horrible. Go out to a proper place.

OP, you're not helping yourself with statements like this. Very judgemental.

I do agree that the party continuing to be loud til 3am was unreasonable but did you actually knock on the door and ask them to turn it down / ask the police to send someone round?

Well we will need to agree to disagree op. You clearly feel you should never be disturbed. I am happy to be disturbed every now and again as long as it's not regular.

I haven't heard anyone use the word skank since school.

In my experience the kind of neighbours who have once off parties are also the kind who let their neighbours know in advance, and keep some kind of handle on the noise.

The kind of people who let the music blare until the small hours, and still have guests outside shouting and singing and making a racket at 3am are the kind of people who regularly have house parties, because they really don't give a toss about their neighbours.

Totally agree OP, YANBU. Weekends are a really precious time for me to catch up on sleep, not least as I'm 12 weeks pregnant and constantly knackered at the moment. I also get up at 8am so I can go to church on Sunday mornings, so I really resent the general feeling that no one minds not getting much sleep on Saturday nights. Midnight would just about be OK but there's no way that 3am is acceptable in a residential area. I would have been round to hammer on the door and ask them to keep the music down.

did you actually knock on the door and ask them to turn it down / ask the police to send someone round?

the OP doesn't have to leave the safety of her own and her family to confront a bunch of drunk and possibly dangerous people - if they are that loud and that rude, by definition they don't give a damn about disturbing people.

The police wont' do anything, they don't come for things like that.

The best you can do is write a complain to the council, hopefully you will have the exact address of the neighbours.

This thread is a perfect example of how some posters seize on one word from the OP, and keep worrying at it like a dog with a bone; refusing to accept further explanations or clarifications or even see it in its proper context in the first place but just using it to have a go at the OP over and over and over.

I live in a city. If someone hires the function room in the local pub, it's noisier than if someone had a house party in a house in the same street because the pub has bigger speakers.

I live near a university so there are always lots of student parties going on. Sometimes it's a bit annoying, but the general benefits outweigh the inconvenience.

If you warn your neighbours in advance, that is more considerate. And yes, inviting the neighbours to join you is a solution, but you will still get those neighbours who are not well, have young DC who are being kept awake.

If you warn people in advance and invite your neighbours then that is a mitigating factor and if it's only a couple of times a year that helps, too. But I really don't think it's too much of a hardship to go inside when it gets too late.

The police wont' do anything, they don't come for things like that

I've called them before and they did.

I've also had them knock on my door to complain about noise (even though it was actually my neighbours having the party)

And just coz these people are noisy doesn't mean they're dangerous! Oh sorry, I forgot, they're having a house party so must be 'skanks'

I think once or twice a year is fine, but do think they should do a letter drop and let the neighbours know. If we get notice that neighbours are having a late party then I take the kids to mum's for the night. Kids can sleep through the noise but I can't!

Look, bottom line is cities are noisy. I think you are being very selfish tbh. I don't see what anemia has to do with anything. People can't be expected to put their lives on hold because of you. If you don't want to be inconvenienced by people simply living their lives, maybe you need to move to the country or at least somewhere where there is a fair distance between your house and the neighbour's house. Everyone gets sick every now and then. Life goes on. Life is for living. Cities are noisy. Deal with it or move.

How is asking people to show a bit of consideration when having a party asking them 'to put their lives on hold'.

Your attitude sounds depressingly typical of an increasingly individualist society salem

Oh no! I was hoping to have a 40th birthday party in my garden and now I maybe it’s too inconsiderate. I have never had a party at home and we have spent ages renovating and doing an extension and patio. I was really looking forward to it. Surely as a one off, on a Saturday night, if I let neighbours know (and invite the ones we are friendly with) and be inside by midnight, that’s not unreasonable?

No that sounds fair enough ploppy.

Apart from anything else, if neighbours know that it's going to move inside at midnight, then they won't start getting antsy and annoyed earlier on and wondering if this bloody party is going to be going on all night.

Communicating with the neighbours and being reasonable is all most people ask for.