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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

To think you don't have a party at home beyond 11pm?

400 replies

critiqueofeveryday · 18/06/2018 09:41

Neighbours in the next street (!) had a party on Saturday night in their garden. The noise started out at reasonable levels at 7pm. Predictably, as they drank into the night, voices got louder, and then the turned up the music to compensate.

We have really, really good double glazing and external insulation. We had all the windows shut, and we were still kept awake until they finally decided to pack up at 3am.

AIBU to think that's it's unacceptable to have loud, late night parties at home? I mean, this is literally what late night licensed pubs and bars are for, right? Why, why, why have it in your own garden, when you must know you are disturbing a whole neighbourhood?

OP posts:
livefornaps · 18/06/2018 11:45

This has just been one big excuse to brag about your lifestyle & lord it over people.

Leave us skanks to have fun at home

ikeepaforkinmypurse · 18/06/2018 11:45

I certainly wouldn't expect a party to end at 11 pm and don't know any one in real life who would.

that's your problem, and you are free to have a party at whatever time you please as long as you don't disturb your neighbours. I like exercise first thing in the morning with loud music, would you be happy with that at dawn on Sunday morning?

No one has replies, posters who are happy to be noisy and inconsiderate late at night, are you so understanding about neighbours loud noise early mornings, or do you expect them to be quiet until a reasonable hour and you are just lucky that they are?

JacquesHammer · 18/06/2018 11:45

I actually think doing anything that could negatively impact your neighbours is unkind whether once a year or not.

I need my sleep. I need my sleep because I have a medical issue that means when I don't get enough I literally can't do anything, I'm not safe to drive etc.

Having a house party isn't unreasonable, having a house party that goes on until 11/12 outside isn't unreasonable, being so noisy that your neighbours can't sleep until 3am is just inconsiderate.

One of our closeish neighbours had one on Friday night. The music - that was so loud i could feel it - finally stopped at 3am. They then complained when Mr Next Door mowed his lawn at 9 am Grin

Bluntness100 · 18/06/2018 11:46

If you don't want to do that, or can't afford to, then accept that having a party at home will have limits if you don't want to be an annoying and selfish neighbour

See I think the opposite, I think expecting your neighbours never to have a party and not make noise as they might disturb you, after 11 pm is what makes you selfish and annoying.

There is no compromise there, compromise is you can to it occasionally. Compromise is not, you can never do it.

bringbacksideburns · 18/06/2018 11:47

There's always one arse on here who has to correct someone's grammar in a condescending manner. Must make them feel so much better after they have got it out of their systems. Hmm

Now that's even more annoying than someone who doesn't try to keep the noise down (within reason) after midnight when having a house party.

Fatted · 18/06/2018 11:47

Did ask them to keep the music down? They honestly might not have realised how much of a disturbance they were making.

If it's bothering you enjoy report it to the council as a noise nuisance.

mydietstartsmonday · 18/06/2018 11:48

I think a party up to midnight at home is fine as a one off with neighbours being informed is fine, carry on afterwards but keep the noise down.

3am is not acceptable

Original poster
critiqueofeveryday · 18/06/2018 11:48

I am not going to apologise for my lifestyle. No way.

OP posts:
Bluntness100 · 18/06/2018 11:48

that's your problem, and you are free to have a party at whatever time you please as long as you don't disturb your neighbours. I like exercise first thing in the morning with loud music, would you be happy with that at dawn on Sunday morning?

It's really not my problem as my neighbours and I all get on fine and compromise. Confused and there is a clear difference between the occasional party and every Sunday morning blaring music.

What a bizzare post.

user1485342611 · 18/06/2018 11:51

I'm an early riser and it would really suit me to get my hoovering done at 8am on a Sat or Sun but I live in an apartment so I don't because it would be unfair on the people living above me.

Likewise, while I'm sure people like to have a party now and again they can't just factor consideration for the neighbours out of the whole process. There's a happy medium between no party and a party that keeps the whole road awake until all hours.

No one on here has said that people shouldn't have parties, including the OP. Some of have just said that other people's lives still have to go on; there will be people who will have to be up early in the morning, people not feeling well, people in the middle of exams, etc etc. So don't act as if no one else's lives and problems matter for that one night/early morning and you can just party on regardless. Take it inside and keep the noise down at a reasonable time.

BlueSapp · 18/06/2018 11:56

From the direct gov website:

"Night hours are 11.00 pm until 7.00 am. To reduce noise nuisance from houses and premises, the law defines a maximum amount of noise which is acceptable during night hours. When noise exceeds the permitted level, the local council can investigate and take action against the neighbour or other noise source."

ikeepaforkinmypurse · 18/06/2018 11:57

expecting your neighbours never to have a party and not make noise as they might disturb you, after 11 pm is what makes you selfish and annoying

That is the most beautiful CF statement I have read on this forum, GrinGrinGrin

People daring to be annoyed to be kept awake by inconsiderate noise in the middle of the night? How bloody dare they! Grin

thatmustbenigelwiththebrie · 18/06/2018 11:59

I think if it's only every now and again it's not the end of the world. Just part and parcel of having neighbours. One day it might be you that wants a party and it's their turn to grin and bear it. It's how it works.

My neighbours have the odd late, loud nights and sometimes so do we. But that's how it goes. If their noise annoys me I just put earphones in.

CloudIllusions · 18/06/2018 11:59

Haven't RTFT but… one must invite the neighbours. They probably won't want to come but at least it gives them a chance to go out for the evening.
And don't have parties more than once a year.

bonbonours · 18/06/2018 11:59

Hiring a venue is not cheap and usually means you have to buy their overpriced food and drink. I would much rather a) host a party at home or b) go to a house party.

However noise loud enough to affect neighbours past midnight is rude and unreasonable, especially if you have neither invited them nor warned them about the party.

SoapOnARoap · 18/06/2018 12:01

I can see both sides here.

buddhasbelly · 18/06/2018 12:05

My neighbours too had a party until 3am on Saturday. They have a mahoosive marquee that they put up every time they have a party.

I posted about it on Sunday as I got no sleep. When the music stopped I had to listen to the party goers coming out and a woman going mental at some guy called Alan who parked outside my house and was shouting he wasn't in a fit state to drive... He drove off anyway (after revving the engine for ages) and I phoned 101 due to drink driving happening outside my door...

Was there a woman screaming at Alan and a fight between some women after the party at yours finished OP??

buddhasbelly · 18/06/2018 12:06

I realise more than one party may have occurred in the world on Saturday Blush

PuppyMonkey · 18/06/2018 12:10

I've thrown and attended parties at my house which may have gone on a little after 11pm and involved us staying outside in the garden if the weather was nice - but we always invite the neighbours too. Them's the rules.

Bluntness100 · 18/06/2018 12:11

People daring to be annoyed to be kept awake by inconsiderate noise in the middle of the night?

As said I see it as the opposite. I certainly would not expect my neighbours to never disturb me after 11 pm. As long as it's not a regular occurance, I'm fine with the occasional party.

I do try to manage noise as I have people round more than most, but a few weekends ago one of my neighbours was having a bit of a party and I could hear Cher and her urge to turn back time very loudly. I just laughed (they are mid seventies) made sure rhe windows were shut and hoped they were having fun.

Original poster
critiqueofeveryday · 18/06/2018 12:11

buddhas - Oh you poor thing! I laughed at your description, but I bet it wasn't funny at the time. Solidarity with your suffering from my neck of the woods! No Alan at the do in the next street, no room for a marquee either - gardens are pretty tighly packed down their road!

"One day it might be you that wants a party"

I have had LOTS of parties, just not at the house because I have neighbours whose sleep I care about!

"Hiring a venue is not cheap and usually means you have to buy their overpriced food and drink."

Not necessarily, though. I mean, pub prices aren't that bad in my part of the world anyway (£3 for a pint, £4 for a glass of wine). But also, my city has a huge amount of cheap, post-industrial space that is sufficiently far from residential areas that it can be used for loud things (e.g. bands practising). This also means there are LOADS of very atmospheric party venues. My last was in a grade 2* listed works that I helped to save a few years ago. We festooned it with strings of lights so that it looked incredible, and got kegs of freshly-brewed beer from a brewery based just over the road. Add some DJ mates on the decks, and some gin from a distillers close by, and it was a great night. It didn't cost a fortune to host and I think/hope people had a really memorable night.

OP posts:
buddhasbelly · 18/06/2018 12:11

Oh and in my party case it turned out one of my neighbours went over and asked if next time the party neighbours could let them know in advance so they could put the kids to grandparents, not asking for music to be turned down just a heads up ... They were told to fuck off.

buddhasbelly · 18/06/2018 12:13

When you've heard Alan screamed by a drunk women at 4am it fairly puts you off the name for life.

Original poster
critiqueofeveryday · 18/06/2018 12:14

It all sounds very Alan PARTRIDGE actually!! Grin

OP posts:
Uyulala · 18/06/2018 12:14

We had downstairs neighbours partying until early morning, loads of them making a lot of noise out on the patio, which is right outside our bedroom Sad