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AIBU?

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Original poster

my sil is awful

233 replies

RioTheParrott · 17/06/2018 23:29

God give me strength. I'm due to get married next month and although I don't get on with sil have asked her to be bridesmaid to include her. We had a dress fitting yesterday and she went on and on about how huge I'll be on the day (I'll be 21 weeks pregnant). I laughed it off but I wanted to tell her where to go.

We went for lunch afterwards and obviously I wasn't drinking but she got wasted. I had to get her into a taxi and back to her parents. She sat on the couch and told me I'm a tart and she's disappointed her brother is marrying me. I couldn't be arsed with her so I've told her to grow up and left. I haven't told my fiancé yet as he's away with work.

OP posts:
MouseholeCat · 18/06/2018 01:09

Sounds just like my SIL- a piece of work who cannot stand other people being happy. Tell your DP as soon as you can and uninvite her- weddings are for celebrating love.

MovingThisYearHopefully · 18/06/2018 01:22

Sounds like my SIL. A spoilt jealous brat who took offence that I stole the family meal ticket. I didn't ask her to be a bridesmaid because I knew she didn't like me. Both she & MIL majorly kicked off throughout the year of planning. At first I thought it was MIL causing trouble, but eventually SIL showed her true colours, acting like a spoilt child who didn't get her own way. If it wasn't for the fact that MIL had agreed to look after my kids during honeymoon I'd of told her to forget about coming to the wedding. Turns out MIL didn't look after the kids anyway, she just used our house as a base & expected the kids to wait on her! Hmm

SIL & her DP turned up at the wedding, didn't speak a word to me, DH or the kids ALL DAY, didn't even send a card, but happily enjoyed all our entertainments on what was a hugely expensive day. Things ramped up soon after we returned from honeymoon when she threw a tantrum attacking DH on Facebook. I stood up for him, calling her a spoilt princess, which prompted her to bombard me with a load of abuse, accuse me of being a gold digger etc. Which showed her ignorance because it is me that bought our house, not DH. Anyway, I wouldn't piss on the cunt if it was on fire since then! Angry

mmgirish · 18/06/2018 02:46

Don't let this woman be a bridesmaid. You'll regret it in years to come. Tell your partner and his parents what she said to you and inform them that out of respect to your children and yourself, that you cannot allow her to join in with your happy day.

emmyrose2000 · 18/06/2018 04:14

The wedding is in six weeks though

So? It doesn't matter if the wedding is tomorrow, fire her as a bridesmaid, disinvite her from the wedding, and go NC.

TheMythicalChicken · 18/06/2018 04:18

Please do not let her come to the wedding. She is guaranteed to spoil it for you.

Monty27 · 18/06/2018 04:41

Why have you not told your dp? Let him deal with her.

LM1970 · 18/06/2018 05:02

Disinvite from the wedding and go NC. I’d also be telling her if she chooses to turn up at my wedding, she’d be leaving in the back of a police car.

kalinkafoxtrot45 · 18/06/2018 05:44

Tell your DP and then punt her from the wedding. She would just spoil the day for you. Do you want to have to see her miserable face in your wedding photos for the rest of eternity?

cakecakecheese · 18/06/2018 06:00

If she can do that at your fitting what will she do at your actual wedding, where the booze is flowing all day? I really would not want her anywhere near your wedding. Your husband to be needs to deal with her as she's his family.

Anniegetyourgun · 18/06/2018 06:04

Six weeks is ages. You're not cancelling the wedding, only one of the bridesmaids! And this one sounds like she needs a good cancelling.

mummmy2017 · 18/06/2018 06:21

Smile and say that's nice like Mrs Brown.
Avoid her as much as you can.
You have a life she wants and her jealousy is showing.

ThumbWitchesAbroad · 18/06/2018 06:47

I'd sack her off too, in all honesty.

Original poster
RioTheParrott · 18/06/2018 09:59

My fiance is away with work he's back at 3 today. I'm just annoyed and I've had enough. I'm struggling with fatigue as it is and this is stressing me out.

OP posts:
ohfourfoxache · 18/06/2018 10:05

What nasty bitch

Completely agree with sacking her as a BM and uninviting. Do you get on with PILs?

ohfourfoxache · 18/06/2018 10:06

Argh, PIL not PILs

FizzyGreenWater · 18/06/2018 10:15

Look, if you're going to be getting married and joining this family with a silly nasty cow like this in it, then you have two choices.

  1. You refuse to accept being insulted like this and kick off right now. She's crossed the line and you let her know it - you tell your DF that you are not having her as a bridesmaid and he either backs you up on it or the wedding's off. He also reads her the riot act and tells her that she either apologises or she's not coming to the wedding at all. Again, any nonsense on that score and wedding is off and will be rearranged for a very very far away destination to which not only will she not be invited, but probably most of the family. You're happy to be totally upfront on social media and everything else as to exactly why there is a problem and which nasty bitch has caused it. While you're pregnant, incidentally.

This will cause an absolute shitstorm, but will teach SIL that you are not to be mseed with. This will be worth spoiling 1000 weddings for and will ensure that from her on in, your life will be much much easier. You mess with me, you will get burnt.

  1. You whinge to your DF who says, but she's my sister, she comes to the wedding as bridesmaid, makes sarky comments all day when she thinks no-one is listening, looks like a bulldog chewing a wasp in your photos and probably gets pissed in the evening and causes a scene. Then, knowing that she can really fucking insult you and get away with it, she carries on making your life a misery at family gatherings, acts up when you give birth aroudn visiting etc. and generally makes it clear that she has no respect for you and will shit stir with you, your family and your children as much as she can. You and your DH have a slightly worse relationship as a reuslt, the inlaws become a source of tension. Life generally has a SIL-shaped black cloud in it.

I'd go for option 1. A wedding is one day. Weddings may be expensive, but sorting out this issue once and for all? Priceless.

8misskitty8 · 18/06/2018 10:41

Has she been like this before in front of your fiancée ?

She’ll probably deny it so I’d try and get her to admit it by texting her and asking her what she meant yesterday when she called me a tart ? Etc.

Do not have her at your wedding and if anyone asks tell the truth. She’s probably been like this before just no one has pulled her up on it.

Original poster
RioTheParrott · 18/06/2018 11:03

When we first got engaged she said that my son shouldn't call my fiance dad this was infront of his parents. His parents are nice but his mum thinks we shouldn't get married while I'm pregnant as it's tacky Hmm. my fiance is aware of what she like and friends have told him she calls me the baby machine and says I've trapped him etc

OP posts:
Hissy · 18/06/2018 11:15

Adore Fizzy that is bang on advice.

Go for option 1 and don't back down.

Or option 3 is that you fuck the whole of that freakshow off and go it alone, why on earth would you want to marry into a shower of wankers like that, they sound a prime Jeremy Kyle lot.

auntyflonono · 18/06/2018 11:30

Don't sack her as bridesmaid, tell everyone she quite while she was drunk, she wont remember and no one can blame you then!

Original poster
RioTheParrott · 18/06/2018 11:43

That is genius auntyflo. I don't think my fiance is going to be happy when he gets home.

OP posts:
SalemBlackCat · 18/06/2018 11:50

I don't understand why you asked her to be a bridesmaid in the first place. She doesn't even like you. Did you honestly think asking her to be a bridesmaid would make her suddenly like you? Why add extra stress on your day and make you miserable? Who needs that on top of everything else to worry about on the day? I wouldn't be surprised if she tried to sabotage some aspect of the day, and she probably will so you are just playing with fire and asking for it having her as a bridesmaid. In fact, she probably accepted so she can do something behind the scenes. What a stupid thing for you to do.

amyddss · 18/06/2018 11:53

Your wedding is supposed to be one of the happiest days of your life! Do you want to look back at pictures of that nasty bitch standing next to you as your bridesmaid?! And there's the possibility she will try to ruin the day too. I'd tell your fiancé, tell her in no uncertain terms she's not welcome atall to the wedding & cut all contact. If she begins harassing you & still giving you abuse, report her. Don't let her treat you like this anymore OP. Especially when you're pregnant!

Twinkletoes90 · 18/06/2018 12:00

OMG! yes defo do what auntyflo said - she sounds awful!!!! and very jealous! even if she still goes to your wedding she will do what she can to destroy your day! Sad

Snappedandfarted2018 · 18/06/2018 12:04

My friend had Sil like this caused loads of problems with her friends, got pissed and abusive ( my friend had child who her now dh called dad) and at the wedding abroad told my friends family he wasn’t the oldest dad(they were religious and led to believe he was) she made the other bridesmaids stay unpleasant out there. She tried to encourage her brother to go off with her mate. They have been NC for years and friends much happier. She does wish she was never bm tho and thought about having her edited out of the pics.