Active discussions

Meet the Other Phone. Flexible and made to last.

Meet the Other Phone.
Flexible and made to last.

Buy now

Please or to access all these features

Talk
AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

How would you feel if a teacher did this to your child?

285 replies

Beenherebefore · 17/06/2018 21:36

Background -
Private school, in year 7. Good kid, all the teachers say so and so do I. Was head girl last year. Doing well, respectful yadda yadda.

So she was in a maths lesson. The teacher was a supply teacher. My daughter raises hand to ask teacher for help as she was stuck on a question.
As she was looking at her book and explaining where she needed help the teacher suddenly took my Daugher's head in her hands and snapped it up and round to the white board, said "read what it says and then speak to me" and then sharply turned her head back to her book and let go.

My daughter came out of school an hour later and told me about it immediately. Not one to make a fuss she told me it had hurt her and that while it didn't still hurt she could feel where it had happened.

I called the school. They said they would treat as safe guarding issue and meet me on Monday.

How would you play this?
I'm not happy and I want this dealt with but not sure how far I should take it.

Would you be as cross and upset as I feel about it?

OP posts:
siwel123 · 18/06/2018 08:19

It wasn't just turning her head. It was lifting it up and snapping it round to the board, telling her something while still holding it then snapping it back round again.
I don't know how any of you can excuse that tbh

ForgivenessIsDivine · 18/06/2018 08:22

The school are treating this as a safeguarding issue. I think it would be reasonable to ask for reassurance that your child will not be taught by this teacher during the process the school initiates and that you are informed of any outcomes if there is a chance that this teacher might come in contact with your child in the future in advance of such a situation arising.

thegreylady · 18/06/2018 08:23

I am a retired teacher and even 40 years ago you would never take hold of a child’s head ,that is outrageous whatever the teacher was thinking of she is in the wrong job!

Pengggwn · 18/06/2018 08:23

siwel123

The OP has used the word 'snapping', but perhaps the teacher wouldn't agree that it was 'snapping', nor is there an agreed definition of that word to use here. We simply don't know what level of force this involved.

SoftBallSophie · 18/06/2018 08:26

I would imagine the school will take it further with the agency that supplies them with supply teachers.

After you have their assurance that this teacher will never teach your DD again, I'd leave it with the school.

You have also shown your DD that nobody is allowed to lay a hand on her and hurt her, and that you will defend her and believe her always, and that is probably the most important thing here.

siwel123 · 18/06/2018 08:28

Still not acceptable to grab a pupils a head and move it around

Pengggwn · 18/06/2018 08:32

siwel123

I agree.

How would you feel if a teacher did this to your child?
AnnieAnoniMouser · 18/06/2018 08:32

It’s no longer 1954 & she needs to realise that. Even when I was at school in the late ’79’s & 80’s this would still have been acceptable, but it’s not now and that’s what counts.

It would have been really frightening for your DD because kids these days have absolutely no expectation of being manhandled like that (as those in my generation did).

In context of how today’s children have been brought up, yes, I’d be wanting to speak to the school & make it completely clear I do not expect to have her teach my child again.

I would hope she is made to do some training courses at the very least. Given she was in what appears to be a well behaved class and she reacted like that, I think she’s probably too volatile to be teaching, especially supply. I doubt she will lose her job as she’s probably been able to cover her tracks so far, but if she did, it would mean she has a history of this type of thing and so I wouldn’t lose any sleep over it.

Make sure DD lets you know if her neck starts to hurt (or anywhere else) particularly as she’s recently had whiplash.

Let us know how you get on today.

Pengggwn · 18/06/2018 08:32

Not sure why anything posted there!

Stephisaur · 18/06/2018 08:33

I think you did the right thing reporting the teacher to the school.

Teachers (supply or otherwise) are not meant to touch students. To do so in an aggressive manner is particularly worrying.

I would not expect this teacher to be invited back to cover again.

Backstabbath · 18/06/2018 08:35

Appreciate what went on in the 70's and 80's isn't acceptable but comments like assault, whiplash and criminal charges are simply crazy.

The teacher hasn't even had time to reply, all we have is an 11 yr olds version of events.

Calm down the worlds gone mad.

NewYearNewMe18 · 18/06/2018 08:36

My daughter also did receive whiplash at a trampolining party a few months ago Ah where there's blame there's a claim … exacerbated an old injury did it ?

Helloisitteaurlookingfor · 18/06/2018 08:40

I can't believe some people are almost sticking up for the teacher. What she did was unacceptable on so many levels.

JurassicBark · 18/06/2018 08:46

I have just read through the latest comments - OP I agree this is serious but please don’t attempt to feign the injury is worse than it is with a neck race etc. Neck braces limit movement and can actually do more damage if used when unnecessary.

Aside from that it’s important to teach your daughter transparency and honesty - what happened was wrong but you should never lie to make circumstances worse. As I said earlier I would get her checked out.

siwel123 · 18/06/2018 08:49

Or OP could be pointing out that grabbing someone's head and moving it about isn't acceptable as you don't know if the person has any previous injuries or conditions Shock.

Some posters on here clearly think it's acceptable to grab kids etc, so how about you get your kids and Ely the teacher to the same if it's ok?

Eatsleepworkrepeat · 18/06/2018 08:49

memyself you're minimising what happened. If anyone ever "told me off" with any amount of physical force I would consider it an assault, wouldn't you? Imagine if you were working at your desk and your boss grabbed your head and physically turned it to the thing they wanted you to look at... I can't imagine any scenario where that's OK.

siwel123 · 18/06/2018 08:49

Let the teacher do the same

JurassicBark · 18/06/2018 08:53

Do you have a copy of the schooled safeguarding policy?

DontDribbleOnTheCarpet · 18/06/2018 08:58

It sounds like the school are handling it well. I don't think you need to do anything more except get your daughter's neck checked out to make sure there is no damage (because of the old injury). If the meeting satisfies you that the complaint is being taken seriously and this teacher won't be back then that should be enough.

tripYouOut · 18/06/2018 09:10

I'd be beyond livid. Contact OFSTED and log it with 101. It raises safeguarding red flags too.

Umm ... LTB.

BottleOfJameson · 18/06/2018 09:22

There is no way in hell that is acceptable. Imagine if your boss did that to you?

Yes kids sometimes ask questions when they could find the information out themselves but why on earth wouldn't he just tell her to read the information on the board and try again! Teaching them to become independent learners is part of your job.

Sparklyshoes16 · 18/06/2018 09:27

Not being goady how come uour Dd came out of school an hour later? Just wondering if you were meeting her at the end of school could you have gone in and spoke to the HOY/Head whilst possibly the Supply Teacher was still there?

Luckily the school is taking this seriously! At the very least the Teacher should be removed from the School and the agency informed!

Sparklyshoes16 · 18/06/2018 09:29

*your

myheartgoesout · 18/06/2018 09:34

We had a supply who gave out a physical punishment to the whole class. I raised a complaint - said dd would not be returning to school while this supply remained - I received assurances that the school would not be issuing a complaint to agency and supply would never be back. School apologised to me and I showed dd the apology but as usual schools never apologise directly to students.

critiqueofeveryday · 18/06/2018 09:37

I think this is not only physically out of line, it's psychologically damaging for your child to be humiliated in that way. I would want an assurance that this woman would not be teaching at the school again.