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AIBU?

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Original poster

How would you feel if a teacher did this to your child?

285 replies

Beenherebefore · 17/06/2018 21:36

Background -
Private school, in year 7. Good kid, all the teachers say so and so do I. Was head girl last year. Doing well, respectful yadda yadda.

So she was in a maths lesson. The teacher was a supply teacher. My daughter raises hand to ask teacher for help as she was stuck on a question.
As she was looking at her book and explaining where she needed help the teacher suddenly took my Daugher's head in her hands and snapped it up and round to the white board, said "read what it says and then speak to me" and then sharply turned her head back to her book and let go.

My daughter came out of school an hour later and told me about it immediately. Not one to make a fuss she told me it had hurt her and that while it didn't still hurt she could feel where it had happened.

I called the school. They said they would treat as safe guarding issue and meet me on Monday.

How would you play this?
I'm not happy and I want this dealt with but not sure how far I should take it.

Would you be as cross and upset as I feel about it?

OP posts:
Original poster
Beenherebefore · 17/06/2018 22:16

Yes it was witnessed. My daughter has provided the names of the girls who were on her table and therefore she knows saw what happened.

OP posts:
ilovesooty · 17/06/2018 22:21

I can't see any way the teacher can justify that behaviour.

LuluJakey1 · 17/06/2018 22:21

As someone who dealt regularly with complaints about supply teachers, any complaint that is valid should be reported back to the supply agency. If it is a very serious safeguarding issue it should also be reported to the LADO.
Most supply teachers have a tough time because classes see them as easy victims who don't know the systems and children then complain when they get into trouble. I am sure that is not the case with this incident, I just didn't want to give the impression all complaints were justified.

gryffen · 17/06/2018 22:24

That's actually assault and nearly assault with injury if she had been hurt.

Complain loudly, get friends or witness from students and also a FOI for the teachers name and agency and complain there too.

Mum was a teacher for 40yrs and never laid a hand on any unless injured (registered FA).

JurassicBark · 17/06/2018 22:29

They will not release personal details in an FOI so that is pointless; her name will be withheld (though I am sure the mother knows the name as she would have told her daughter's class it).

Do things professionally, do not start a witch hunt. If this is a safeguarding issue starting a witch hunt is the worst thing you can do.

Get your DD to write everything else down, but let school take the statements from everyone else.

Mrsmadevans · 17/06/2018 22:36

I would be fuming and cause a right fuss about it, no way should she be back in the school or any school . This is disgusting behaviour. I hope your DD is ok now OPFlowers

RainbowGlitterFairy · 17/06/2018 22:39

I can't think of a single situation that would make that ok, even had your daughter been messing around (not saying she was) that would still have been completely unacceptable. I would be asking the school to ensure they do not book that supply teacher again and that it is recorded as a safeguarding concern with the supply agency.

Original poster
Beenherebefore · 17/06/2018 22:53

Thank you all so much for your time. Xxx

OP posts:
honeyrider · 17/06/2018 22:57

What you've described is assault and in your position (been there in the past) I've advise you to report it to the police and let the school know that too.

siwel123 · 17/06/2018 22:58

Get them to complain to the agency definitely.
Ask for reassurances that this teacher won't ever be back in the school ever again.

Hopefully the teacher loses their job over this.

perroy · 17/06/2018 23:02

I would need a guarantee from the school that she would not be on the premises again. If it was not forthcoming I would tell them that I would be heading to the police station after the meeting.

A proper apology from the principal to your daughter would also be necessary. I would not want that vile person around my daughter even to tender an apology.

bunbunny · 17/06/2018 23:04

Might be a bit late now but I would have taken your dd to get her neck checked out - maybe by a physio or osteopath as they are probably better than a GP at knowing exactly how a neck would feel, and would be able to do any gentle manipulation needed to put it right if it had been left damaged in any way.

In fact, I would still be tempted to do so, or even ask the school to pay for an appointment for dd to be checked out properly as the injury happened as a direct result of her being in school, from a designated teacher.

I would be furious - the potential for serious injury to somebody when somebody else whips their head around and back is huge - particularly when they are not expecting it so might be tensed up /resist/pull away which would compound any problems. And if the child had any underlying health problems like EDS it could cause really serious injuries with repercussions for years.

It's not nice having your neck manipulated by someone who is a trained HCP who knows what they are doing, when you know it's about to happen and you know they are doing it to make you better. Having it happen in a situation like this is really concerning for a whole host of reasons and I would be very cross and upset. I would definitely be talking to the school in the strongest possible terms.

Any chance of going to a chemist before school tomorrow and getting a neck support? If she can still feel it, even if it doesn't hurt, might help it. And it would emphasize to the school that she has been injured.

I hurt my neck badly at school - weeks after changing schools for 6th form. It was a freak accident, trampolining, but it's left me with a bad neck that still goes, many years down the line. In an emergency, a folded/rolled up tabloid sized newspaper stuck in a pair of tights can be just the right size and thickness to make a good neck support - the one leg can be doubled back on itself over the paper and then the other leg can be used to tie it around the middle - probably not what your dd wants to wear to school but worth keeping in mind in case her neck does hurt again and want support and you don't have a neck support at home.

Monty27 · 17/06/2018 23:06

Go for the jugular. metaphorically obviously. Have her disciplined if not sacked. No way is that acceptable Angry

Haffiana · 17/06/2018 23:08

I must say I think anyone who has anger management issues like this should not ever be working in circumstances where she is in a position of authority with children. It really is a safeguarding issue.

sadeyedladyofthelowlands63 · 17/06/2018 23:16

I'm a teacher. First rule of teaching: unless they are in imminent danger, you NEVER touch the children.

I teach in a "challenging" school and there have been several times when I have lost my temper with classes, but I have never physically assaulted a child.

TestingTestingWonTooFree · 18/06/2018 06:09

I feel this warrants misconduct proceedings but not a criminal prosecution. It sounds like the school are taking this seriously.

NurseryFightClub · 18/06/2018 06:20

Children are people too, yes they need guidance, however I always think about what I would do if someone did this to me as an adult, and it would be assault. Yanbu it stand up for your daughter, the teacher should apologise in front of whole class also so they are aware it's unacceptable behaviour. Hope your daughter is OK

IdaDown · 18/06/2018 06:26

Apart from the unwarranted head touching - what a lazy, unhelpful teacher.

Not everyone understands the written example given. What if your DD or some other child had dyslexia or a visual problem. Or just ‘didn’t get it’.

strawberrisc · 18/06/2018 06:30

I would expect it to be referred to the LADO (local area designated officer) and properly investigated as a child protection concern.

This ^

You won’t be seeing her again.

KappaKappa · 18/06/2018 06:33

As a teacher and a parent I’d be very unhappy with this Sad hope your daughter is ok and that school are helpful and supportive

Mrsredwine · 18/06/2018 06:38

This reply has been deleted

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littlebillie · 18/06/2018 06:39

Has she got whip lash

Pengggwn · 18/06/2018 06:41

I would be furious if my DD came home and said that happened in the classroom.

I am a teacher and would never touch a pupil in this manner.

However, some of the people on this thread are overstating the law, as well as misunderstanding what will probably happen next.

It is actually not illegal to touch pupils. The physical contact needs to be proportionate to its aim and appropriate, and cannot be used as a form of discipline. An example of 'appropriate' physical contact might be hugging a pupil to comfort them when they are upset, or physically removing them from a classroom when they will not comply. It isn't as simple as 'no touching unless the pupil or someone else is in danger.'

That said, this does sound inappropriate.

A complaint is definitely warranted. However, proper procedures need to be followed. Statements from all students present would need to be taken, not just the students on her table. The teacher would need to have a chance to state their side. Depending on the outcome, a warning might be the outcome, rather than permanent removal from the classroom, as your DD was not injured.

I hope this is dealt with quickly and correctly by the school.

sashh · 18/06/2018 06:43

I do supply.

We are advised to NEVER touch a child. I doubt that teacher will teach at that school again.

insancerre · 18/06/2018 06:45

This teacher should not be working with children
This incident should be refereed to the LADO and investigated as a safeguarding incident
This will appear on the DBS and should prevent this teacher working with children again
Make sure the school have referred it to the LADO

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