How would you feel if a teacher did this to your child?

[Beenherebefore]

Background -
Private school, in year 7. Good kid, all the teachers say so and so do I. Was head girl last year. Doing well, respectful yadda yadda.

So she was in a maths lesson. The teacher was a supply teacher. My daughter raises hand to ask teacher for help as she was stuck on a question.
As she was looking at her book and explaining where she needed help the teacher suddenly took my Daugher's head in her hands and snapped it up and round to the white board, said "read what it says and then speak to me" and then sharply turned her head back to her book and let go.

My daughter came out of school an hour later and told me about it immediately. Not one to make a fuss she told me it had hurt her and that while it didn't still hurt she could feel where it had happened.

I called the school. They said they would treat as safe guarding issue and meet me on Monday.

How would you play this?
I'm not happy and I want this dealt with but not sure how far I should take it.

Would you be as cross and upset as I feel about it?

Should also have said that in a very serious allegation the LADO would call a local safeguarding board meeting at which the professionals- police, school, LADO and any other agencies involved eg health, social services- would review the allegation and initial investigation and plan a strategy to deal with the case or agree to close it down depending on evidence.

No child was hit ??? Her head was sharply pulled upwards

That is not hitting

It’s amazing how many people will simply tolerate for children what they would not tolerate for themselves

When did I say I would tolerate it? I would deal with it properly and that does not mean violence.

And damn straight I think I have the right to give a damn hard smack upside the head of any adult that thinks they have the right to assault my child

Well, you are wrong.

Thankfully, the OP appears to be dealing with this appropriately.

there i see s reason why teachers are supply teachers
also
as she is supply even more reason to report her as who knows how often she behaves like this and gets away with it

nannykatherine "This was not a supply teacher, see OP's post @ Mon 18-Jun-18 17:34:42"

@nannykatherine what are you implying?

Do u mean as in so people get a chance to see different types of school's and how they work? Less workload and in a lot of cases better pay. More flexibility and a chance of a better work life balance including time for more training courses that a school wouldn't allow/be able to pay for (Sarcasm if you're not sure).

My friend is a Supply Teacher because her husband is in the US military and are constantly moving countries! She is a damn good Teacher with a PHD and taught English and Maths in some of the worst war torn/natural disaster/Socio-economically deprived countries including the UK...if she wasn't a Supply Teacher (and others who are Supply Teachers that do this work) how would kids in those countries and this one get Teachers? Particularly as so many in this country are leaving the profession in droves and nothing is being done to solve the issue.

My other friend is about to leave teaching after 10 years to do Supply as are another 7 out of 27 (2 maternity leave 1 retirement the rest never to return to teaching who all qualified in the last 5 years) members of staff are leaving at the end of the July term.

Why does it matter more if she's Supply? Which by the way in this case the OP has established she is a member of Teaching Staff not Supply from a good few posts back.

Ps I do not condone what the Teacher has done be them Supply or member of staff, it should never have happened in any circumstance!

The worrying thing on this thread is a lot of the details have been manipulated by various posters to suit! Which makes me think if people are on panels to determine a person's life outcome do they actually read the facts or just make up what suits?

That is not hitting!?

Nice apologetics for child assault right there !

Nice apologetics for child assault right there !

Stop making shit up, I am not doing anything of the sort.

Assault takes many forms. This simply wasn’t hitting.

While you argue between yourselves!

I just had an email from the school and while I am not UNhappy I'm not happy either. Well not if this means case closed and I never get to know anything. I think all I want is an explanation, an apology, to my daughter, and reassurance it will never happen again. I'm not sure I'm going to get any of that and that leaves me feeling most unsatisfied / unhappy / uncomfortable etc.

This is what the school said:

have just returned from my meeting with the LADO. Although the outcome of the meeting is confidential between the school and the employee, please be assured that all appropriate safeguarding actions are being taken and the LADO is satisfied with the actions taken by the school.

Is that my lot do you think?

Can you get in touch with the LADO. I've no idea what's right but I wouldn't be happy. I'd expect both parties to be informed of the decision??

It's not appropriate and I (a supply teacher) certainly wouldn't do it. But I don't think it's assault.

It probably is your lot insofar as the details of the meeting are concerned. They might be able to clarify some things if you have specific questions though (eg her not being near your DD etc)

I went to a private school and it seemed like teachers did and said what they liked. One of the teachers was a raving alcoholic - once I was talking when she was and she smashed a hardback book over my head in front of everyone - it really hurt. I didnt talk again when she was. My parents didnt care but I wasnt scarred for life and I did actually like that teacher. What had a greater impact were some of the nasty things some other teachers said.

Teachers lives can be fucking miserable, sometimes they snap. This woman may have all sorts going on and it doesnt make it acceptable but I wouldnt push it as a safeguarding issue wasting social services time, just ask for teacher to be given a telling off and leave it as that, if, and its a big if, it is a one off and she is normally fine and not horrible to your child. Context is key I suppose and your daughter is still young if year seven.

No its not your lot, the teacher will be investigated now I would imagine. It is serious stuff now as a safeguarding allegation has made against her.

Ok, thanks guys.

And @Backstabbath

"We still only have the child's version... " that's all I have and possibly all I'm likely to have???? Now it's being investigated and LADHO or whatever they are called, are involved,I'm no longer allowed to know anything! And you know what, from where I'm sitting that's enough. I trust my daughter implicitly to tell me the absolute truth. In addition to that, she would have no reason not to here.

And re "could it not possibly be that the teacher merely turned the child head towards the white board because said child was not listening."
NO! a) my non melodramatic, calm, mature, etc daughter told me that as she was looking down at the book and explaining where she was stuck, her head was held and pulled sharply up and round to the white board. The teacher then told her crossly to read an instruction about showing her workings out which my daughter had missed and then he head was directed quite sharply back to her work. My daughter was shocked, her words, and as the teacher walked away she rubbed her neck and mouthed 'owwww that hurt' to her friends on the same table as her who were sat "openmouthed" at what they had just seen.
So no, her head was not "merely turned", otherwise it wouldn't have hurt and frankly we wouldn't be here now.

"Child got annoyed because she was told off for not listening."
Neither of us have ever had a problem with her being told off! I know you don't know my DD but you're going to have to take it from me, she is an exceptionally nice, decent, reasonable and mature kid who when she does get otld off, which is actually pretty rare, takes it on thechin and apologies. My DD has also said she "i didn't see the notice on the board, which was my fault, I know that". So that's not the issue here. Her being hurt is.

And "Where is the update with the teachers version of events? " ! School not giving me any info on that, they are not allowed.

For the record - I have no intention of going to the police about this. That's just not me in any way shape or form. That will categorically not be happening.

I DID take her to see a GP for 2 reasons 1) I was in there on another matter so discussed it with someone and asked advice and said "although she is not in pain, it did hurt at the time and is that the sort of thing that should be on her medical records do you think" The advice was a very strong YES. The other reason I did it was because my DD did receive whiplash at a party a good few months ago, it's easily done and if something else happened in sport (she plays a LOT of sport inc rugby) and she hurt her neck again I would want the GP to know about a smaller, lesser injury she received etc. It was for OUR records and peace of mind only.

We are calm, reasonable, fair people.
Of COURSE this had to reported to the school.
They have taken it seriously albeit I feel a bit frustrated with lack of info and them sending this teacher on a school trip with my daughter, although they were kept seperated.
I do feel that I would like to hear an explanation and I think my daughter deserves an apology so that she and the teacher both have closure and can put this behind them and that it never happen again.

Jerking (or whatever word you want to use), manipulating, someones head can be a very dangerous thing to do on anyone but I would have thought esp dangerous on a young slim girl.

'Thank you for that information. I am sure that Dd will be reassured, as will I be, to have a full apology from the teacher, an assurance that she will never do it again to any pupil and will never again teach dd at school, as a result of the investigation and outcome of disciplinary action. I will let you know the outcome of my discussions with the police regarding this teacher's assault ofm y daughter should any additional action be required on your part. You will be pleased to know that her neck is beginning to get better and although it now looks )ike she may avoid long term complcations which was obviously a big worry initially, she is still not completely recovered so we will have to just have to to keep a watchful eye on that.'

And then sit back and watch them splutter and react...

Sorry, started my post after seeing your update, thought it had been lost but it reappeared when I switched the tablet back on so I posted rather than lose it so crossed with your post about not going to the police.

Or although you know you won't go to the police they don't...
Worth dropping into conversatiion if necessary...

That wouldn't be good enough for me when it came to the safety of my child!
I would insist on knowing if this teacher will be allowed near my child again and if the answer was yes then I would absolutely report it to the police - an adult wouldn't get away with doing this to another adult, let alone an adult in a position of responsibility doing it to a child!

Next time your child misbehaves at school you can tell them that it's confidential between you and the child what punishment she will get at home instead of being punished by the school!

I think you’ve been very calm and level-headed about it all Beenherebefore. Yes I’d expect an apology from someone at the school either to you or to your daughter and an acknowledgement that she was in no way to blame for the incident and positive affirmation that it will not happen again.

@Beenherebefore Has your daughter met this Teacher before seen as she's a member of staff and not Supply? You said it was a Maths lesson so is it her regular Maths Teacher? I do hope they are not going to move your daughter out of that class that she has been in I assume for the majority of the year?

Will they be writing to you, to let you know if your child will have anything further to do with your daughter via the curriculum...if there's a cover lesson and for some reason she ends up covering what will be action they take to put your daughters and the class needs first?

Further to do with the teacher that should have said...sorry long day and on the way home in a hot stuffy train carriage

I will let you know the outcome of my discussions with the police regarding this teacher's assault ofm y daughter should any additional action be required on your part. You will be pleased to know that her neck is beginning to get better and although it now looks )ike she may avoid long term complcations which was obviously a big worry initially, she is still not completely recovered

What batshit story are you making up there!

@Backstabbath whose said that I can't find it...not being goady by the way.