Active discussions

Meet the Other Phone. Protection built in.

Meet the Other Phone.
Protection built in.

Buy now

Please or to access all these features

Talk
AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

How would you feel if a teacher did this to your child?

285 replies

Beenherebefore · 17/06/2018 21:36

Background -
Private school, in year 7. Good kid, all the teachers say so and so do I. Was head girl last year. Doing well, respectful yadda yadda.

So she was in a maths lesson. The teacher was a supply teacher. My daughter raises hand to ask teacher for help as she was stuck on a question.
As she was looking at her book and explaining where she needed help the teacher suddenly took my Daugher's head in her hands and snapped it up and round to the white board, said "read what it says and then speak to me" and then sharply turned her head back to her book and let go.

My daughter came out of school an hour later and told me about it immediately. Not one to make a fuss she told me it had hurt her and that while it didn't still hurt she could feel where it had happened.

I called the school. They said they would treat as safe guarding issue and meet me on Monday.

How would you play this?
I'm not happy and I want this dealt with but not sure how far I should take it.

Would you be as cross and upset as I feel about it?

OP posts:
confusedlittleone · 18/06/2018 06:48

Why the fuck didn't you take it the police? Your daughter was assaulted!

productOfTheMatriarchy · 18/06/2018 06:50

She turned your daughter's head to look at the board ... yes you'll make a fuss and the school will have to do something.

Whether they should have to is an entirely different matter.

They turned her head. Hardly child abuse, is it.

MaverickSnoopy · 18/06/2018 06:51

From a practical point of view how on earth did the teacher not know that she might have had some kind of physical disability or problem with her neck/shoulders. Abeilt extremely unlikely but she could have exacerbated something pre existing. Thank god your daughter doesn't, but even without that the teacher used enough force for your dd to still feel it later on.

I did some safeguarding training a few weeks back and they were crystal clear that you should not use any physical force unless in an emergency situation, eg pulling child back from oncoming traffic etc.

This teacher sounds really angry.

Original poster
Beenherebefore · 18/06/2018 07:03

She didn't just turn her head. It was NOT done gently. If she had not hurt my daughter we would not be here now. But she did.
She also proudly told the girls she was voted second most scary teacher in her previous job and was disappointed she didn't get first.
My daughter also did receive whiplash at a trampolining party a few months ago. What she did was dangerous and uncalled for.

OP posts:
Original poster
Beenherebefore · 18/06/2018 07:05

Sorry, that last post was to productifthematriachy

OP posts:
Maelstrop · 18/06/2018 07:07

Similar happened at my school. Supply teacher was escorted off the premises.

MemyselfandIrene2 · 18/06/2018 07:14

Oh for gods sake really? You are going to ruin a teachers life and career over this?

Sorry but going in to have a chat with the school is one thing I agree, but crying ‘assault’ and someone suggesting getting her checked over is the world gone mad.

junebirthdaygirl · 18/06/2018 07:16

I would be just as upset at her rude response to your dd asking for help. That was horrible.

Pengggwn · 18/06/2018 07:19

junebirthdaygirl

I've reacted like that (minus the touching) when a student has clearly not listened to the first ten explanations. "Look at the board" is perfectly reasonable in those circumstances, or you'd never get anything done.

Original poster
Beenherebefore · 18/06/2018 07:24

Menyselfandirene - in response to your 'for god sake am I going to ruin her career' comment. Firstly I'm not 'crying assault'. Secondly I am 'just' going in for a chat at this stage. What the school does from there is up to them. I know I don't want her teaching MY daughter again and that's it. If her career is 'ruined' over this then she would have ruined her own career wouldn't she?

OP posts:
BuggerOffAndGoodDayToYou · 18/06/2018 07:31

I have had neck and spine problems since I was about 8 years old. ANY sudden movement of my head can cause me a huge amount of pain.

I usually side with teachers but they are NOT ALLOWED to touch a pupil in that way.

That supply teacher should not be working with children in my opinion.

Bekabeech · 18/06/2018 07:34

MemyselfandIrene2 - actually this is assault, and this individual doesn't sound fit to teach in any school. I've been a trainee teacher in much rougher schools that this, and with tough classes - there was never an occasion where I needed to touch a pupil, we may have brushed hands handing over equipment, but that is it.
And Trainee teachers are even lower than Supply. (I would think the reason she is doing supply is because this behaviour is not new.)

Lalliella · 18/06/2018 07:39

OP ignore the PPs blaming you for possibly ruining a teacher’s career. It’s emotional blackmail nonsense. The only person who would be ruining her career is the teacher herself by her actions. She should not have done it, and she should not be in teaching. A lesser trauma than that to the neck could have caused permanent damage (a friend of ours had a bleed on the brain after twisting his neck). Take it as far as you need to. But in any case if it’s with safeguarding now it’s probably out of your hands.

MemyselfandIrene2 · 18/06/2018 07:55

Excuse me - I have an opinion and just because it’s not the same as yours doesn’t mean the OP should be advised to ignore it or that god forbid any minute I get called a troll (yawn).

The teachers in my school hug the kids regularly and the kids love it and so do I! I’m sure the rules state they shouldn’t touch them in case someone calls them a child molester but I’m glad that the world isn’t completely mad and that there are still some normal kind human people out there. And I know you aren’t talking about hugging but my point is that it is still contact with a child.

Can you imagine how hard it is to be a teacher? How much training it takes? And now your little darling private school girl has been told off (god forbid as she was head girl you know) you are going to march into school and tell them you don’t want that teacher to ever lay eyes on her again?

Why not ask the teacher what happened - an adult?

NurseryFightClub · 18/06/2018 07:55

OP isn't ruining anyone's career the teacher is doing that!
If i assaulted one of my clients I'd be arrested and likely lose my career, would that be the fault of me or client?

Pengggwn · 18/06/2018 07:57

Is it assault? I'm not certain it meets that threshold.

MemyselfandIrene2 · 18/06/2018 08:02

Pengggwen - apparently the teacher nearly snapped her neck off her shoulders by the way this lot are going on. Lock up that teacher and throw away the key!

Beaverhausen · 18/06/2018 08:04

Good lord that is very aggressive and you are right that teacher should not be allowed back in the school again.. Good luck with today.

Pengggwn · 18/06/2018 08:04

MemyselfandIrene2

And the thing is, it may have been that rough, but I don't see how any of us would know it from this!

Somethingsfallendown · 18/06/2018 08:06

A good teacher shouldn't have to resort to physical force just to make a point. Was she trying to humilate yr ds? What's the point in that? She's not a chiropractor-could have caused a serious injury. I'd be livid. Good luck for the meeting today OP.

PurpleCrowbar · 18/06/2018 08:06

I'm a teacher.

This is definitely game over for this teacher with this school & this agency, & she should not be back in a classroom until she's had some serious training, if ever.

If I did this - I'm not supply, permanent position - I'd expect to be escorted from the building within 5 minutes of SLT hearing about it. It IS assault. I'd also be aware that I'd be bloody lucky not to also be hearing from the police.

Of course it's just possible that the whole class had been behaving appallingly, OP's dd was the ringleader, & the 'asking for clarification on the work' was in fact the latest in a campaign of deliberate winding up (not saying this is the case, OP).

So then the teacher is justified in adopting a fairly stern tone whilst pointing out briskly that the required information /explanation is on the board. No head grabbing required. Ffs.

insancerre · 18/06/2018 08:09

Peng
How would you feel if you were on a training course and the trainer did that to you?
Why is it acceptable to tear children in a way that we don't treat adults?
Don't children deserve respect at all times?

MemyselfandIrene2 · 18/06/2018 08:10

My point is how do you know how hard she twisted her head? She could have done it quite lightly. Sometimes kids exaggerate. Think the teacher should be given the benefit of the doubt!

Pengggwn · 18/06/2018 08:12

insancerre

Of course. I have already said it is unacceptable if it happened as described. I am just not sure it meets the legal standard for assault.

DragonMummy1418 · 18/06/2018 08:18

@MemyselfandIrene2

She still put her hands on a child and that is wrong.

I'd be absolutely fuming!

How would you feel about someone doing this to you, even gently? Would it be ok for someone to manhandle you?

Swipe left for the next trending thread