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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

Over wedding invite

139 replies

upsideup · 16/06/2018 17:43

We have received an invite for a family friends wedding, addressed to me DH, 11 year old dd and 4 year old ds, DD(3) and DS(8) are not invited.

I would understand just inviting the oldest or oldest two but it seems strange to just invite DC1 and DC3. The only reason I can think for why 4 year old is invited and not 8 year old is because her stepson is 4 so DS2 is only invited to play with him, though obviously I dont know the reason.
If it was no under 10s I could use that to explain to DS1 why he couldnt come but I don't know how I'm going to explain why his little brother and older sister can but not him. The family friend is equally close to all children so thats not the reason, if anything closer to the older ones because shes known them longer.

AIBU to think its weird and a bit mean to pick and choose randomly which children you are going to invite?

OP posts:
PotteringAlong · 16/06/2018 17:43

No; that is weird.

toolonglurking · 16/06/2018 17:45

That one is bonkers, do you have anyone connected you can ask?

Phillipa12 · 16/06/2018 17:45

Very random, id be declining and telling them why!

NorthernKnickers · 16/06/2018 17:46

I can only imagine that this was a simple oversight when they were writing the invitation...otherwise it's completely weird!!

I'd contact them and 'check' before RSVP-ing.

MrsMozart · 16/06/2018 17:47

Check with couple. Hopefully it's a mistake.

MapMyMum · 16/06/2018 17:47

I wouldnt bring any of them then, if the invite is deffinitely correct

steppemum · 16/06/2018 17:53

well, yes it is weird, but as to what to do, I wouldn't take any of them.
If that isn't possible, then I would decline.

If you invite people with kids without their kids (as you have a right to do) then you shouldn't be surprised if they don't come due to childcare needs.

CanaryFish · 16/06/2018 17:54

The only thing i can possibly think of is they’re hoping the 11 year old will “mind” the two 4 year olds as they play.

I couldn’t bring half the kids in that situation it’s just wrong imo

PuppetOnAString · 16/06/2018 17:58

That is odd. I would either not go at all or go without the DC. But either way I would ask the b&g what was going on.

SoftBallSophie · 16/06/2018 18:02

Surely this is a misprint on the invitation?

It seems very unlikely they'd expect you to bring 2 of your DC and leave the other 2 at home. I'm convinced this is just a mistake as no one is that rude & callous.

HelenaJustina · 16/06/2018 18:03

I would ask. We have a wedding next year where only 1/4 DC are invited but that’s because they are the godchild of one of the couple.

Seniorcitizen1 · 16/06/2018 18:03

Weird. I would decline

BottleOfJameson · 16/06/2018 18:04

YANBU that's very strange you can't invite one sibling and not the other similar in age sibling.

Leeds2 · 16/06/2018 18:05

I think that is very odd.
I would either decline the invitation, or go with DH and not take any of the DC.

BottleOfJameson · 16/06/2018 18:05

This is one of the rare occasions where I'd actually ask just because it's so bloody weird it might genuinely be a mistake. If it really was intentional I'd decline.

gracielacey · 16/06/2018 18:06

I would tactfully check whether it was a mistake. If so, I would either decline, or just you and your partner go (and maybe take the 11 year old if you want to, but not the 4 year old)

Barbaro · 16/06/2018 18:08

Maybe they just got the names mixed up and meant to invite the older brother, not the younger one. Easy to do I'd think with all of the invites they'd be sending out. Double check with them.

troodiedoo · 16/06/2018 18:08

That's just bizarre. I would have to stop being friends with such a pair of twonks. Unless they just forgot you have two middle kids. Please ask them!

WhenISnappedAndFarted · 16/06/2018 18:08

I'm another one who would ask who normally wouldn't. It is really odd and not fair on your DC.

If the invite is correct, I wouldn't go.

Handsfull13 · 16/06/2018 18:08

I would decline taking any of the children. You shouldn't be to forced into explaining to your children why only some were invited.
It should be all or nobody.

Gentlygently · 16/06/2018 18:09

Oooh there was a great thread where someone had been invited with just a token number of her many DCs a few years ago. The OP came across brilliantly but I can't remember what she was called - does anyone remember?

gamerchick · 16/06/2018 18:09

Ask her if it was a mistake and if it wasn't then either decline or take no kids with you.

Bairns have feelings as well and it wouldn't be nice to watch 2 of your siblings go off somewhere with parents and not you.

underneaththeash · 16/06/2018 18:10

I'm usually completely for the no kids thing (mine have been to 2 and a half weddings and didn't enjoy either, although they did enjoy the half and hour if wedding the went to), but that is just odd.

Personally I wouldn't take any of them, but then my eldest is a boy and doesn't really enjoy the getting dressed up/socialising/dancing of a wedding and your DD might. But yes, you can't take your 4yo and not your 8yo

spiderlight · 16/06/2018 18:11

That is odd and I would have to ask. It's not fair for only two of them to go - it should be all or none.

thedevilinablackdress · 16/06/2018 18:11

Probably just forgotten how many kids you have...only way to find out tho is to ask!!