Over wedding invite

[upsideup]

We have received an invite for a family friends wedding, addressed to me DH, 11 year old dd and 4 year old ds, DD(3) and DS(8) are not invited.

I would understand just inviting the oldest or oldest two but it seems strange to just invite DC1 and DC3. The only reason I can think for why 4 year old is invited and not 8 year old is because her stepson is 4 so DS2 is only invited to play with him, though obviously I dont know the reason.
If it was no under 10s I could use that to explain to DS1 why he couldnt come but I don't know how I'm going to explain why his little brother and older sister can but not him. The family friend is equally close to all children so thats not the reason, if anything closer to the older ones because shes known them longer.

AIBU to think its weird and a bit mean to pick and choose randomly which children you are going to invite?

Absolutely you’re they hired help, and you’re not even allowed to bring your own kids.

Fucking cheek.

You know if you decline on behalf of your kids then the B&G will have to change the table plan because you know the 4yo would have been seated "next to his friend" aka at your table for you to look after.

It sounds like they only invited your son as "entertainment" for their son and are probably hoping you'll watch them both. Nice friends.

I would just go as a couple. If you just take your 11 yr old they will end up babysitting THEIR 4 yr old (and in turn you will too).

Any update OP?

That sounds like a wedding you might want to miss. Weird and also very disrespectful to selectively invite certain members of your family. Just skip it and enjoy a fun family day instead.

Come on OP needing an update on this one!!!

If you are close enough to be invited to their wedding and to meet up with them, swap Christmas pressies etc then why the hell aren't you just calling and asking??

Very weird. I would ask why 2/4 of your dc are /aren’t invited

Please update op this is so cheeky. They want a free baby sitter in either you or your dd. An 8 year old is old enough to be upset by not being included. I would just go as a couple, unless there are lots of other 11 year old their for dd to play with or she will be designated baby sitter to their child. Their reaction will tell you all you need to know.

Would LOVE an update on this one!

Sorry, there isnt really any update. We know that they only invited DS2 for their 4 year old to play with and they are not inviting any other under 10's but we havent confronted them about it.
Me and DH are still deciding if we will go or not, if we do we just wont take any kids.
We are not friends by choice, shes a family friend so more like a relative I've known all my life, dont really like but put up with and see occasionly anyway.

Don’t go OP if you don’t like her and there’s a hassly invite, I don’t see the point.

I'd send a text to ask.

If it's not a mistake, I wouldn't go, or just go with your partner if you really want to.