How the fuck am I STILL not pregnant????

[Goinginsane000]

Sorry, I appreciate that this isn’t an AIBU but I am at breaking point and hoping there’s more traffic here.

I have been TTC for 3 years. I was referred for NHS fertility treatment 2 years ago. Tests showed I have PCOS, as suspected. Put on Clomid, had a chemical preg after 3 months. Ovulated probably 10 times out of 12 cycles if I remember correctly. No further BFP for another year. 13 months ago I had a laparoscopy with ovarian drilling. Worked wonders, had a natural period for the first time ever (without needing drugs to bring one on). Continued on Clomid and ovulated every single month without fail. Got pg 6 months later but miscarried at 7 weeks. Was then put on Letrozole. I have ovulated on every one of the 6 cycles I’ve been on this but no fucking BFP. Due to the miscarriage, I had to wait another year for my IVF referral because you need to have not had a pregnancy in the past 12 months.

There must be something else at play, surely???? How can this be happening? Does anyone have any insight or personal experience of a similar history??

For what it’s worth, I am 30. Size 10, have eaten a mainly carb and sugar free diet for 3 years. I don’t smoke or drink much (because I am constantly “possibly pregnant”). I exercise regularly and can run 6 miles in just under 40 mins with zero effort. I take very good care of myself.

Seriously, WTAF!

*RE: relaxing.

Everyone relaxes during sex... you stop relaxing when you've had months/ years of it not working for its intended purpose. People rarely start out stressing, it's actually fun at first...*

Absobloodylutely. One of nature’s nasty little jokes. If you want to get pregnant, the longer you go on having sex without it happening the less you actually want to have sex. It becomes a chore. This is why “well at least you can have a lot of fun trying” is not something to say to someone with infertility.

Sorry you are going through this.

Do you do anything to optimise your cervical fluid? Either taking cough medicine with guafenisin (sp?), or,using a fertility gel.

Going insane I have PCOS have had five pregnancies, two children and three miscarriages.

Each successful pregnancy I did the following.

Metformin 500 mg twice per day
Tracked cycles with persona monitor - I still have mine. I could send it to you if you like. It tracks your cycles daily. Despite having a 28 day cycle I ovulated on day 19 typically.
Preseed lubricant which apparently makes it easier for the sperm to swim to the egg
Deanna plan - www.pregnancyloss.info/sperm_meets_egg_plan.htm

Once pregnant continue with the Metformin and low dose aspirin. I think this was the key to the pregnancy continuing.

My consultant was Emeka Okara.
www.hje.org.uk/consultants/mr-emeka-okaro/

It was Mr Okara that prescribed metformin and then told me to take the 75mg of aspirin daily.

I conceived DS2 on day 30 of my usually 31 day cycle. Might be worth having a bit more sex later in your cycle?

Tmi but stop tracking ovulation. I swear I ovulate at the end of my period as the month we didn't focus on middle of the month but just did it every other day were the months it worked. Twice.

I had “unexplained infertility” until I moved my care to Guys. They found a) I was ovulating really early in my cycle, so by having sex on D8 I was already too late, and more importantly b) despite a “normal” dye test, I had Asherman’s syndrome from a previous miscarriage.

The scarring didn’t block my tubes but it was enough to prevent successful implantation. I had the scar tissue excised, had two further miscarriages in the space of nine months (hadn’t conceived at all for the previous three years), and then finally had a successful pregnancy on aspirin eight months after that (I had major placental problems so obviously my endometrium was still not right, but it was good enough to get DS to 36 weeks).

@KERALA1 did you have an anovulatory history? Given OP has PCOS and therefore a history of anovulation, and only ovulating in response to ovulation induction with fertility meds, don't you think her understanding if she is ovulating naturally is important (given the effects of laparoscopic ovarian drilling may not always be permanent)?

OP not sure if you've had a hysteroscopy as part of your lap, but worth having a saline ultrasound to check the outline of the endometrium in more detail than a standard ultrasound can show.

I have PCOS and am currently pg (loooong cycles, 5-6 weeks usually, often without ovulation - sometimes it disappears for 5 months at a time etc); I credit the really strong and like clockwork ovulation I had that resulted in my current pregnancy with myo-inositol.

Have a read of this, but the studies show supplementing with it had equable results to Clomid. I took 4g a day and - BOOM - ovulatory cervical mucus like clockwork, when it was completely absent for months in advance. Worth a discussion with your clinician perhaps?
www.smartfertilitychoices.com/inositol-pcos/

FWIW OP if you weigh 10 st 5 and you're 5 ft 7, your BMI is not 'just under 20' as you said, it's more like 21 or 22, so very close to ideal weight for conceiving.

(I know this off the top of my head because I'm marginally taller than you and I reach a BMI of 21 at 9 st 11, a BMI of 20 at 9 st 7, and a BMI of 19 once I'm under 9 st 4 ish).

This suggests even more strongly that your weight is DEFINITELY not the problem either way - you are slap bang in the middle of the ideal weight range for your height

So whatever the problem is, it's not that.

....though of course it might not be helpful for your case. Hope investigations help you out, must be so incredibly frustrating.

Sorry to hear about your experience.

I also suffer from pcos and have the less healthy life style. (Wasn’t nearly put on clomid cuz I was 29.5bmi). Managed t concive my 2m baby using clomid(for the record I was anything but relaxed at that point when conceived )

My sister also suffers From pcos and her story is similar to yours. Healthier life style and younger than me and no luck :(

Each body is different so what might work for many won’t for others. I know how heartbreaking it’s month after month specially when you don’t ovulate by yourself (I was 14months in a row without any period when ttc)

Btw we had sex every day when I knew I was ovulating (I had internal scans so knew the situation of my ovules ) my dh like yours had optimum sperm so was recommended by doctor to do that. Again what works for me might not for you.

Wish you all the best. You’ll have happy and sad days but hopefully soon you’ll have the best news ever

Ach I'm sorry OP. It is truly shit. I have PCOS and it took me 7 months to get pregnant again after my miscarriage and they were the hardest 7 months of my life (took us longer the first time but for some reason I found that easier).

I'm sure it's woo nonsense but I had one session of reflexology the month I conceived. Anything's worth a try I guess.

Agree that weight / diet probably isn’t A factor, However I ran 2-3 times a week. Tried for a year to get pregnant. I stopped all running and was pregnant shortly after. Could u stop the running for a few months? Surely would be worth a try as it’s a cheap / easy thing to try / and you can continue with other things aswell? Totally aware there is no scientific evidence here at all.

I don't even know what half those words mean banana I am not a medic. All I know is anecdotally I didn't get pregnant for a year but when I ignored the middle of the month advice I got pregnant.

I don't reply to many threads but had to write to you. I was you. I knew all the days cycles temps etc. It was years and all consuming and with PCOS too (lost one ovary to it). Anyway, someone told me to never go swimming or take a bath. Just showers to keep clean but let your cervical fluid normalise. I can see the sense and swimming flushes toy with chlorine I suppose! Definitely a sperm killer! The other advice is to act like a 18 year old teenager who does not want to get pregnant for a few months!! So basically have a drink, dare I say get drunk/shag a lot. Be slovenly sometimes. Laugh and don't eat too heslithy/get a few pounds of fat. This advice was from a high end ob/gyn consultant. The third thing she said was a cup of decaf green tea (or 20) a day was great for good cervical mucus. It all worked and I have 2 dc now. I personally credit the green tea and no swimming. Sorry forgot to say I'm sure you know but coffee and coke are proven to reduce your chances.:coffee particularly. Sorry for the long post! Best of luck.

Sorry me again: just realised that it doesn't read as though you are using ovulation kits? They are quite brilliant and take away the guessing but buy a load of strips (100?) from eBay and just test every day to start to see a pattern.

Simple advise but it worked.
Had no luck trying to conceive until GP advised that after sex, I should elevate my bottom by putting a cushion underneath me and stay lying down for 30 mins to allow the sperm to trickle down & saturate the area.
Good luck to you.

I was feeling this too about 15 years ago. Just wanted to say, don't give up and try not to stress too much. as soon as I stopped stressing it happened. We stopped doing the every other day sex, stick your legs in the air, stay on the bed for 20 mins.... and just had sex when we felt like it. Because at that point I had accepted I wasn't going to get pregnant so I didn't care anymore. And weirdly that's when it happened.

There'sme or reason for these things, it's so hard though so be kind to yourself and I hope things get easier soon. Best of luck x

I suffered infertility twice. The one thing they don’t test for is the quality of vaginal fluid. In my twenties after trying for 2 years I used Conceiveplus on the day of ovulation. Worked first time.

Many years later, after a sterilisation reversal with no child after 18 months, I did the same and had the same result. It could be coincidence of course but I think that not enough attention is given to ‘what the sperm swim in’ and this can make all the difference.

What I mentioned yesterday was not strict scientific interventions but clearly works for some people.
FWIW me and my DH struggles to conceive (2 years with first baby and nearly 3 with second), albeit a few years ago now, so retrospective thinking for me as my children are 9&6, is that these things come up with friends and from discussions with colleagues (doctors and scientists, I am a biochemist by trade, with PhD, 25 years in research, so have much experience discussing theories)

Some more 'fluffy' things do work for some people. But that's some, not all (of course!) but then sex doesn't work for all people, how many people have to resort to intervention but do actually end up pregnant, not through sex?

Sometimes it's worth putting your listening ears on and stop hollering 'evidence!' Or 'bollocks' or ' well they would have got pregnant anyway' .... really!? Just because it's not worked for you perhaps it may be good advice for other people

Maybe I'm lucky I didn't have to go down the ivf route , other things worked for me along they way, high concentration evening primrose oil, agnus castus, distraction, losing weight, aspirin, hcg injections, high concentration folic acid ... all these things worked for me. As a biochemist and biologist I get it that the body isn't exactly the same for everyone, hormones etc are unpredictable at best, affected by surroundings/other unpredictable and changeable factors in the body, so never is 1 thing right for everyone - but people sharing their background and their experiences really shouldn't be blasted, yep clearly doesn't work for you but maybe it might be something others get success from

PCOSer here, now with 5 children. No fertility treatment ever worked but yes, low carbs did, together with, in my case, losing a few kilos and cutting right back on coffee, since caffeine has been found to trigger miscarriage in rats... You don’t sound like you need to lose any kilos, however. Maybe reduce the exercise a bit?

Hi OP
Thanks for updating
Underactive thyroid can certtainly be linked to recurring miscarriage so do make sure you monitor the function and dosage very closely

I really hope things work out for you x

Hi,

I haven't had time to read the full thread and my apologies if you have heard this already. I had unexplained fertility and according to the NHS and several tests, DH and I had no significant reason to explain lack of pregnancy. We ended up exploring the private IVF route after 3 years. We paid for more tests and i had immune / killer cells issues, which was a compatibility issue, rather than health issue. With a strong drug protocol we had a successful FET pregnancy. The are multiple immune/prednisone threads on the conception board if you want to read more about this.

Good luck,I wish you all the best x

Why are you not pregnant? Things it is actually worth considering:

Thyroid function massively important to conception and miscarriage. You need your tsh to be under 2, which sadly a lot of doctors don't appear to be aware of.

Pp have mentioned natural killer cells. Evidence is iffy, but lots of ancedata. I didnt/wouldn't but if you're going to try ivf you might want to look into it.

Ivf. It's brilliant. One consultant explained it to us as egg definitely meets sperm, as compared to maybe 20% chance of that happening otherwise.

Blood clotting issues. Banana did a nice list earlier including APS and MTHFR. You need testing for this. But clinics like ARGC give everyone clexane and aspirin as the testing is a bit variable.

(After loads of the "relax" bullshit which just served to make me feel anxious, I discovered I had APS and MTHFR. Was able to get pregnant but mc. Treated, had Ivf and ta da, a baby. No amount of spa days could have unclotted my blood! For baby number 2, I had developed hypothyroidism. I conceived that baby after getting my tsh at a good level and when I was the most stressed I have probably ever been.)