How the fuck am I STILL not pregnant????

[Goinginsane000]

Sorry, I appreciate that this isn’t an AIBU but I am at breaking point and hoping there’s more traffic here.

I have been TTC for 3 years. I was referred for NHS fertility treatment 2 years ago. Tests showed I have PCOS, as suspected. Put on Clomid, had a chemical preg after 3 months. Ovulated probably 10 times out of 12 cycles if I remember correctly. No further BFP for another year. 13 months ago I had a laparoscopy with ovarian drilling. Worked wonders, had a natural period for the first time ever (without needing drugs to bring one on). Continued on Clomid and ovulated every single month without fail. Got pg 6 months later but miscarried at 7 weeks. Was then put on Letrozole. I have ovulated on every one of the 6 cycles I’ve been on this but no fucking BFP. Due to the miscarriage, I had to wait another year for my IVF referral because you need to have not had a pregnancy in the past 12 months.

There must be something else at play, surely???? How can this be happening? Does anyone have any insight or personal experience of a similar history??

For what it’s worth, I am 30. Size 10, have eaten a mainly carb and sugar free diet for 3 years. I don’t smoke or drink much (because I am constantly “possibly pregnant”). I exercise regularly and can run 6 miles in just under 40 mins with zero effort. I take very good care of myself.

Seriously, WTAF!

Sorry @PurpleDaisies but you're wrong - distraction works by letting you relax your constant baby making stress- lots of people ttc but as soon as something takes over e.g their doctor refers to clinics or ivf etc there are success stories because your body biochemistry changes due to relaxing / distraction from the constant worry and stress
A friends consultant told her 47 years ago to get a cat you'll be pregnant within 6 months - it took only 3 months after years of literally nothing

It's just rubbish, you are doing everything you can and it's not happened

Have you tried taking the pregnacare conception pills? There are ones for him and her so good for the sperm and good for the folic acid etc etc. I found those very helpful (I mean everything to help right? Even if it doesn’t do much it’s not bad to have some vitamins. Folic acid in your system before conceiving can be helpful).

Also I am not 100% sure those ovulation tests are to be trusted. I wouldn’t wait for the ovulation to have sex - have sex every other day from the day your period finishes (I had sex every day but advice is usually every other to keep sperm in good condition).

Crabbit stick - yes. I don’t stand up and do everything you mention for 30 mins without fail each time.

Sorry @PurpleDaisies but you're wrong - distraction works by letting you relax your constant baby making stress- lots of people ttc but as soon as something takes over e.g their doctor refers to clinics or ivf etc there are success stories because your body biochemistry changes due to relaxing / distraction from the constant worry and stress

Evidence please?

My parents tried for 10 years. Both were perfectly healthy, their infertility was 'unexplained'. There was no cause. And from what I have read, there are many couples suffering from unexplained infertility.
Heartbreaking for you OP. I really hope it happens for you soon.
My parents went on to adopt children. They got very lucky as they got me!. But I know they never stopped thinking of their 'own' children and wondering.

I'm really sorry to hear it's not happened for you yet, I'm very sorry about the miscarriages too. Our second took 4 years with 3 years of fertility treatment, ovarian drilling with clomid worked for me in the end, I hope your ttc journey reaches it's destination soon, ttc can very much feel like groundhog day.

I'm not going to go there with the 'relax' bullshit. Yea, just don't think about it, you know that thing you really want and are putting your body through all kinds of shit for? well good news, who needs fertility drugs, internal scans or regular sex, just think relaxed thoughts, fool your body into thinking that you don't really want this, that'll do it. Also, if you're going to follow that cliche, why not drink a lot and pretend to pick your partner up at a bar? one night stands always lead to pregnancy in all the books.

How do people just roll out the same crap time and time again!

Someone will be along in a minute to tell you to adopt or foster.
Sorry you are having a hard time

Sorry to hear you are going through this. You may receive more relevant advice on the infertility boards than in AIBU.

Are you prepared to wait for IVF on the NHS and keep trying in the meantime or would you be happier paying and going private?

It took me 4 years of TTC and 2 rounds of ICSI to conceive DD. It is shit. The only thing that made it more bearable for me was not putting my life on hold and doing things I couldn’t do with a baby, like having great holidays and drinking cocktails.

Good luck with whatever you decide.

@Goinginsane000 I could be you. Been ttc for 4 years. I have pcos, but I'm slim, I ovulate. My dh's sperm are fine. I've had one miscarriage in 4 years.

For whatever reason we just can't get pregnant. 'Just relax' is the most bullshit advice ever. I have a good lifestyle, a beautiful home, live in a nice country, go on frequent holidays. People get pregnant in much worse circumstances.

I eat low carb too because of insulin. Unless other people have researched pcos then there's no point giving advice about diet.

I don't know what else to say other than it's fucking shit, and you're not alone.

I have extremely irregular cycles and I conceived on CD 27 after trying for 14 months. I had assumed that I was ovulating in the middle of my 35 day cycle but apparently the egg was lurking about a while. Maybe try a bit more sex at the end of your cycle?

Would you consider going private?

You are doing all the right things, your diet sounds good

I'm so sorry OP - it sounds like you're doing everything right! No advice but wishing you lots of luck - either that it just happens or that ivf works for you in time x

Not infertile. You can get pregnant and have done so. This happened to me (though it was secondary infertility - I had a five year old).
I miraculously fell pregnant during investigations despite not having had a period for nearly a year. I lost that baby late in pregnancy. Then, no periods again. Tried Clomid - got pregnant 3x in 9 months, miscarried each time. Then three chemicals. I used all my doses of clomid.
I went to a private clinic in Athens for a hysteroscopy.They prescribed Femara which didn't work for me. Had a year when I had 50 day cycles and tried naturally = nada.

We decided to have one try at IVF. Felt sure it wouldn't work but didn't want to always think "what if...?" Went to the Lister in London. Saw Dr Alison Taylor.She insisted we tried more investigations first.

It turned out I had developed an auto immune condition (highnatural killer cells). This explained the miscarriages as well as the difficulty conceiving. The plan was to have ivf with blood plasma transfusion. However the week I was supposed to start the drugs I found out I was pregnant naturally. I had conceived without trying (drunken shag after too much fizz at a party!) Within a week I had the blood plasma tranfusion.

My little girl was born a few days before my 40th birthday and will be starting school in September. She can be a right handful but I promise I count my blessings every single day.

So for me it was "not trying" and the right treatment for my condition. Auto immune conditions are common but often not tested on the NHS.

30 is young. I bet you will get there.

Crispy, take every vitamin that is recommended by my specialist. We have monthly scans so I know when I’m ovulating and as I mentioned previously, we more than cover ourselves with regard to ‘catching’ the egg.

Oh yes and I've had sex at all times of the month. Taken all the supplements, done acupuncture, naturopaths, sperm friendly lube, diva cups etc etc. I'm at my inability to conceive!

My sister wasn't getting pregnant (for a year - no fertility issues) because she was going straight to loo after sex.

You know this isn’t true, don’t you? Otherwise “having a wee” would be listed as a valid form of contraception.

I've read people having good results taking aspirin, I'm not sure of the reason why exactly but is it worth looking at?
Also I've heard of pre-seed lubricant being good when ttc.
Re the carbs, I found cutting out wheat messed with my cycles a bit, could you try introducing some good carbs into your diet.

Sorry @PurpleDaisies but you're wrong - distraction works by letting you relax your constant baby making stress- lots of people ttc but as soon as something takes over e.g their doctor refers to clinics or ivf etc there are success stories because your body biochemistry changes due to relaxing / distraction from the constant worry and stress

And there are many more who don’t conceive in these circumstances. You’ve heard about a few people who did and you think it happens all the time because you are less likely to hear about the ones who did.

maybe you are training too hard? how often do you run 6 miles in 40 minutes?

Some of the responses on this thread! Seriously. I've heard "just relax" before but "get a cat" is a new one. What a load of bollocks.

OP, I'm really sorry to hear it hasn't happened for you yet and I really hope you get a sticky BFP soon. It's interesting your specialist said it's best to have sex every other day. Why is that? I always assumed every day would be best.

but "get a cat" is a new one.

Nah. My mother is absolutely convinced that she had my sister after many years of TTC because her mother told her to 'get a dog'. Bless her

Sorry @PurpleDaisies* but you're wrong - distraction works by letting you relax your constant baby making stress- lots of people ttc but as soon as something takes over e.g their doctor refers to clinics or ivf etc there are success stories because your body biochemistry changes due to relaxing / distraction from the constant worry and stress
*
If that were true then all anyone would need to do is be referred to ivf and they would fall pregnant. But what really happens is thousands of people actually go through ivf, and a few people fall pregnant because they would have anyway.

FFS. It wasn’t said to upset the OP, it wasn’t said to offend the OP. Jesus Christ.

If it did offend you OP, it wasn’t meant to.

www.webmd.com/infertility-and-reproduction/features/infertility-stress

www.google.com/amp/s/www.newscientist.com/article/dn25274-even-low-levels-of-stress-could-cause-infertility/amp/