How the fuck am I STILL not pregnant????

[Goinginsane000]

Sorry, I appreciate that this isn’t an AIBU but I am at breaking point and hoping there’s more traffic here.

I have been TTC for 3 years. I was referred for NHS fertility treatment 2 years ago. Tests showed I have PCOS, as suspected. Put on Clomid, had a chemical preg after 3 months. Ovulated probably 10 times out of 12 cycles if I remember correctly. No further BFP for another year. 13 months ago I had a laparoscopy with ovarian drilling. Worked wonders, had a natural period for the first time ever (without needing drugs to bring one on). Continued on Clomid and ovulated every single month without fail. Got pg 6 months later but miscarried at 7 weeks. Was then put on Letrozole. I have ovulated on every one of the 6 cycles I’ve been on this but no fucking BFP. Due to the miscarriage, I had to wait another year for my IVF referral because you need to have not had a pregnancy in the past 12 months.

There must be something else at play, surely???? How can this be happening? Does anyone have any insight or personal experience of a similar history??

For what it’s worth, I am 30. Size 10, have eaten a mainly carb and sugar free diet for 3 years. I don’t smoke or drink much (because I am constantly “possibly pregnant”). I exercise regularly and can run 6 miles in just under 40 mins with zero effort. I take very good care of myself.

Seriously, WTAF!

@Tink2007 please don't tell someone to relax who is ttc.
I had 2.5 years ttc so relatively short but a laparoscopy showed my tubes were twisty and slow. No amount of relaxing would have got an egg past those fallopians!
Had ivf and luckily it worked... but your advice is patronising. I definitely wasn't relaxed during ivf!

Op so sorry to hear about your loss. Infertility sucks.
Really hope it does happen for you beforehand but otherwise fingers x for ivf xxx

I am also 5ft7 and was undergoing NHS fertility testing- we were told they wouldn’t do anything until my BMI got to 19. So weight is unlikely to be an issue as the NHS would have refused the treatment so far if they didn’t think it would be successful.

Everyone telling you what to eat, what to do etc. Ignore them, listen to your specialist. I have PCOS and have spent years low carbing, regular gym etc, without the pill had rare pros and was told I want ovulating. We got married in January and after our wedding I just wanted a bit of a break from the diet and exercise restrictions, ate carbs didn't go to the gym, etc. Gained about ten pounds. I conceived before my fertility clinic referral had even been made and not because I ditched the diet, but not because I stuck to it either. One of my closest friends TTC for more than ten years, IUI, drilling, Ivf, various hormones/medications, she has PCOS so tried the diet and exercise although she's naturally slim anyway. Nothing wrong with DHs sperm. She just has unexplained infertility. You're getting medical support and are waiting for IVF, coming onto AIBU isn't going to help, you'll just get lots of old wives tales that will upset you. Just keeping doing what you're doing and what the doctors tell you, they know far better than anyone here.

Stop trying. Take 2 months off. Start running (for fun not races). De stress.

Keto diets should 'reset' your body and work for pcos and people who suffer with pco.

You are genuienly eating too much sugar though OP throughout the day over too long a time period to even be in Ketosis so lower carb is pointless. Drop the snacks. Shorten your eating window to say 11am-7pm or 12-8pm. You DON'T need snacks. You need to be aiming for 40-60g of carbs MAXIMUM in that eating window.

Some people just have infertility and can't get pregnant OP. Some catch it with luck.

It took us over 12 years.

@KERALA1

Yes but you told the OP to stop tracking ovulation. She has posted very important information in her OP to suggest that tracking ovulation is very very important for her situation. Advising her to stop checking whether she's ovulating or not isn't great advice for someone who doesn't ovulate naturally, and had ovarian drilling - so needs to know if it's actually still effective or not.

Thyroid function massively important to conception and miscarriage. You need your tsh to be under 2, which sadly a lot of doctors don't appear to be aware of.

I was diagnosed hypothyroid a couple of years after giving up IVF treatment, about 7 years after we started it. My reaction to ovarian stimulation was reallly poor,, always two or three eggs apart from one time we had seven. On maximum possible dose. Eventually told I had POF. This was nearly 20 years ago, thyroid function was never mentioned to me never mind investigated.

I had all the investigations the op had including ovarian drilling. I was obsessed with monitoring ovulation. My very highly regarded IVF clinic were pretty meh about it prior to treatment.You know you ovulate,monitoring it isn't really going to make much difference. When doing IVF they do it all for you anyway.

Op is relatively young as regards IVF and is in the queue for referral. Op I'd honestly take 6 months off from everything you have nothing to lose. You're not knocking on 40 and IVF at your age is often pretty successful. Focus on the summer,drop the exercise a bit,try to find some mindful activities and come Christmas look into the thyroid issue. Might save some time further down the line. Also could you focus on saving for any future IVF cycles. We had to fund all ours. Focusing on getting the money helped in a weird way. Our consultant told us that the most fertile couples will take at least 3 months to get pg naturally and often IVF takes 3 cycles. Knowing you have back up funds when your NHS funds stop will take the pressure off. The first cycle is often regarded as a finding out exercise which is how I treated mine.

I know it sounds trite but I have been there. Your history is very like mine but with a more positive outlook. I was 5 years old and never had a pg. You will get there.

Oh Seren. I don't know the relationship between ovarian function specifically and thyroid, so maybe they were unrelated.

I went to see an obstetrician in 2012/13 because of my history of miscarriage, and he didn't know about the thyroid thing even though I flagged it up. It was actually mumsnetters who alerted me when I was pregnant and on the wrong dose of thyroxine. My ivf clinic didn't mention it in 2010 but by 2012 they were testing everyone who came through the door, so I think it was quite recent that the fertility sector picked it up.

You’ve probably had this checked already as you’ve had plenty of investigations, but make sure your endometrial lining is thick enough for an embryo to implant - for IVF, 8mm is the magic number. Mine is yet to reach 8, and it’s our biggest hurdle currently.

Not read the thread as so long, but just wanted to say good luck and sounds like you are being very proactive. I'd stop the smoking altogether, drinking down to minimum. I've heard several people say that reflexology worked for them so perhaps try that.

Getting your thyroid checked is just a quick blood test though, cow. It's so quick and easy, I'd do it now. Then you can adjust your medication if you need to.

@Loveglee thin endometrium is my big issue too

Have you had your uterine artery blood flow checked with Doppler?

Not sure if you're having IVF or not, but stuff that can be worth considering, under the supervision of your fertility clinic

• oestrogen tablets orally and vaginally
• oestrogen patches
• G-CSF (Neupogen) uterine wash
• viagra (vaginal viagra better but the pessaries are very hard to obtain and cost an obscene amount, so oral viagra better than nothing)

Acupuncture helps some people with poor uterine blood flow although it did fuck all for me

Other stuff includes high dose vitamin E, plus a course of pentoxifylline if really struggling with thin lining

PM me if you want any more info, sadly thin endometrium has become a bit of a specialist subject xx

Yeah.
Just "relax"
Stop thinking about it
Honestly - do you really want a baby? Because if you do it will happen.
Are you really committed to wanting a child?
oh! we didn't even think about it and we just. got.pregnant. Go us I might stab you

You need to try a bit harder no I don't

Fuck sake.

So sorry OP. All the above said to me more than once and it's maddening.

Unexplained infertility here. Just shit luck.

Eventually DD came along but it was hard going. It sounds like you are doing everything within your power to help so keep on trucking.

Any way you can push for your IVF consultation to happen sooner? Afford to go private? I know it's ££££ where we got the money from I will never know

Big hugs. It's a total shitter

Bloody hell!

Some people have conceived after they made a concerted effort to relax (holiday, yoga, stop “trying”), and they fell pregnant after years of trying.

Most people know someone who has experienced that. Hence there’s often posters advising this. Nothing to get angry and sarcastic about.

God I'm not giving medical advice just saying what worked for me

Hi. I just saw that your thyroid was slightly under active. I had the same and was given low dose thyroxine. I struggled to conceive, and saw a specialist privately. They advised that while my thyroid function was in the 'normal range', it wasn't in the narrower range optimal for conception. Under their care, I conceived within a couple of months.

Yet again a bunch of fertile women telling an j fertile woman that they are just nit trying hard enough.

OP try the IVF route and hopefully it will work for you.

For some of us nothing worked and we had to make peace with the idea that our bodies were broken and would never grow a baby.

Reading threads like this makes me realise why there is still such s gulf in understanding between parents and childless people.

My infertility was unexplained for the best part of 4 years (more if you count the years I wasn’t on birth control with ExH - not trying but not preventing as such). 7 years and 2 relationships and not one sniff of a BFP.

I went through all the tests and had low key help - clomid etc) plus I did all the dieting / temping / vitamins... and even went onto an IVF cycle but I cancelled before we got to egg collection bc the relationship had broken down and it just wasn’t right. I was devastated but I knew in my heart it wasn’t the right thing to be doing for either of us. We split up.

I met my current partner and dated causally, he knew my past and was happy with the idea of hypothetical eventual IVF (if we decided to stay together long term iyswim).

I was pregnant the first month after we became an official committed couple (after a year of dating and taking things slowly).

I am now 30 weeks and it’s almost like a dream.

I’m not suggesting you need to leave your partner or anything like that of course! I suppose what I’m saying is, unless there is a specific, diagnosed reason you are not able to conceive then it’s simply guess Work and we can do everything right (as per the books / advice) and it still not work.

My ex partner tested perfect for sperm btw so it’s not that he was the issue - we just didn’t succeed. IVF may have worked for us, I’ll never know. Infertility is hell, heartbreak and sadness. I’m sorry you’re going through all of this.

We keep looking for reasons and areas to fix or improve but for some there isn’t anything solid to work on. It’s fucking brutal and the hardest thing I’ve been through. You’re not alone in it that’s for sure x

Anyone who trots out ‘just relax and it will happen!’ deserves a proper slap.
Unexplained infertility is horrible and shit; we had it and took a lot of fighting with fertility and gynae depts to investigate. I finally fell pg after some google self diagnosis of a vitamin deficiency but could have just been chance.
Keep reading into investigations available and do any prep you need prior to starting IVF.
I do hope you won’t need it and you get your baby soon

@HulaMelody - that worked for you, different things work for different people. Talk of slapping people for sharing what they it others have found successful (was having a discussion with my MIL today who was a family planning doctor who told me many years ago fertility treatments weren't available, people adopted and it was common and noticed by the professionals that significant numbers then fell pregnant - distraction and de stressed about the situation .... perhaps not written up in a journal but observational evidence from a professional

Oh and OIF COURSE this isn't for everyone .... before someone thinks 'this works for all' when of course we're all just mentioning things that have worked for us /family /friends in the hope that perhaps it may help fellow couples with problems

HulaMelody - that worked for you, different things work for different people. Talk of slapping people for sharing what they it others have found successful (was having a discussion with my MIL today who was a family planning doctor who told me many years ago fertility treatments weren't available, people adopted and it was common and noticed by the professionals that significant numbers then fell pregnant - distraction and de stressed about the situation .... perhaps not written up in a journal but observational evidence from a professional

Oh god not this again. It probably did happen sometimes pre IVF and there was a plentiful supply of babies because of social attitudes. People were able to adopt more quickly and they were younger doing so. If they subsequently got pregnant it was because they needed more time. They would have done anyway. Nothing to do with distraction.

My OH was adopted. His mother never became pregnant. Her best friend took about five years to have her first child, and then had three more. Had she adopted before having the first I dare say people would have nodded sagely and said “oh yes she adopted you see”.

The problem I have with the 'just relax, as soon as you go to adopt a baby you miraculously have one' theory is that the process of adoption is incredibly stressful. So stressful in fact that many infertile couples don't adopt for that exact reason. So how does adopting prove that if you stop stressing you will get pregnant?

Clearly not read my comment properly or just so negative you'll dismiss anything if it doesn't compute with your own opinion

Professional, observational, some people, incidence .... not fact, not 'my mum did ....' but observations of professionals