I’d happily ban dog walkers (and the inevitable shitting dogs) in the park. My kids have to stay off the grass there is poo or poo remenants on the field and it pisses me off no end.
I’d flick my bosses the ‘v’s everytime they spouted nonsense, and point out that they are in fact as thick as mince and not fit to be bosses.
I’d ban kids parties, toddler groups and any enforced talking to people just because they also shagged, got lucky, gave birth the same time as I did.
I’d get rid of parents evenings. I hate them as a parent as do the teachers. Tell me nothing unless there’s a problem.
I’d make all fattening food zero calories and make longing on the sofa a healthy activity.
I’d liposuction all my flab and get skin tightening surgery at the same time. I’d then spend three months off work to recover and eat crisps (zero cals remember!) and watch Netflix whilst a cleaner came in daily to tidy and keep the house spotless.
I’d also get a chef to feed us as I worked out yesterday that I have cooked approximately 9,000 evening meals in my lifetime and hate cooking.
I’d obvously get rid of torries and all world leaders who are a-holes (Trump, Kim, TM, and their ilk). Kind, benevolent leaders , with a social concience would reign.
Money would be shared equally and people would chose jobs they love as salary is equal.