To have ignored my neighbour?

[Cheery1004]

I've lived in my property for just over a year now. He is in the house next to mine. Over the year we have just exchanged a couple of hellos.
His ora just unsettles me.

Recently I pulled up he was outside I walked around to get.my son in the car, he hi. I got my son out turned around and he was waiting in his drive for me. Started going on about my son getting bigger.

A few weeks back I pulled up and I sent a quick text he tapped on my window and asked if I could help jump start his car. I said yes obviously as it was the nice thing to do. We couldn't get it started and he said something was wrong with my connection (it werent) so someone else pulled up and I asked him if he could help after saying to my neighbour numerous times oh maybe he can help you. As my son was asleep in the car and it was a hot day! I felt like he could have asked other people pulling up.
He then said thanks and he would trim my garden for me. I just said Thanks but not to worry that's not needed.

My DF then put up a gate for me and DS. He popped up and peered over the fence, spoke a tiny bit but was mainly being nosy. He then commented about me doing hard graft like he knew me. Both my parents said they felt awkward and he reminded them of a creepy relative we have. I agreed because that is who he reminds me of!
Just now I went outside to empty the Hoover and banged the filter outside for all of 30 secs. He appears at the fence and says if you're gonna bang it bang it and laughed. I just walked off and went inside.

AIBU to have ignored him? I value my privacy. And don't want to feel like every time I go outside he is about to make a comment. He is only a lodger and said he hasn't lived here for long but he was here before I moved in.

dont that's awful. Can you not file a harressment claim at work.
honey what do you mean situations you felt unsafe in.

Sometimes you just get that feeling. Slightly different but when I lived somewhere else someone had just moved in. I saw her outside smoking. I hadn't spoke to her just seen her and I instantly knew she was trouble and not a nice person. Turns out I was right. She was crazy and threw glasses at a neighbour

OP I'm sorry you've got so many odd replies

Why would you ever think it was your place to judge other people's responses on a public forum then apologise like it's your forum and your responsibility, and only your opinion counts?

Seriously?

I wonder how some people even manage basic interaction with other people

They don't. We see it time and time again in here, people don't want to socialise, answer their doors, answer their phones, they want to sit in their cars at lunch time at work, they want people to make appts to come see them, they don't like going to other people's houses, they don't like people Coming to theirs, and apparantly they don't even like their neighbours brieflg talking to them once a month, it's seen as in some way outrageous.

It's fine until they then try to convince others that it's normal. It's not.

There’s something called the gift of fear.

Your neighbour is trying to force a relationship and you are absolutely free to decline. Women are told repeatedly to be nice and respond positively. You do not have to do this.

Trust your instincts. You have no obligation to let this person push you to interact with them.

I think the fact that you're comparing a thread where someone describes 3 times their neighbour talked to them with another where the OP is being hounded by text message and phone calls says it all tbh.

So there aren't any creeps out there Bluntness, who make it their mission to make people feel uncomfortable for whatever reason they may have? The world is just full of friendly, funny and helpful guys in your opinion?

Who said there was no creeps. Why take it to bizzare extremes.

The blokes talked to her briefly four times in three months, he's her friggen neighbour, it's hardly creepy or unusual behaviour.

Do you honestly think standing in the dark and waiting for someone to come home to say hello which would obviously make anyone jump is normal, neighbourly behaviour?

What makes you think he was waiting for her? As opposed to he happened to be outside his house at some point after dark one time. How dare he!

Omg, even she didn't go as far as to say he was waiting in the dark for her to come home 😱

OP is describing the most mundane interactions you could possibly imagine.

"I got home, as I got out of my car my neighbour said hi, I went into my house, the end"

"Another time the same thing happened, but it was dark!"

wow

You don't think it's odd that someone stood outside in the dark, seeing their neighbour walking to her house that hasn't seen them would speak out to say hello?

You don't think that doing that would scare them?

@Cheery1004

Ignore the people saying he sounds 'normal' and 'nice.' He sounds creepy and weird. I bet he wouldn't be behaving this way with a man.

If he makes YOU feel uncomfortable, then YOU have the right to be pissed off and to want to ignore him.

I have met this type of man before; thinks he's funny, thinks he's charming, thinks you should LOL and guffaw at his 'hilarious' quips.

Refuse any offers of anything, and don't help HIM with anything. You are vulnerable as a single woman/mother and he knows it. I assume you are single as I didn't see you mention a partner....

I think you mean AURA eh?

But yeah, as a few have said, trust your instincts. Some men are creepy entitled gits who think women should be grateful for the attention, and some of them don't take it well when they're rejected.

Nip it in the bud now. Ignore him, and refuse to engage. You owe him nothing.

You don't think it's odd that someone stood outside in the dark, seeing their neighbour walking to her house that hasn't seen them would speak out to say hello?

Not at all. Jesus. If they're close enough to say hi to, then it would be pretty weird NOT to say anything. How does he know she hasn't seen him? Can you imagine the MN thread? "I came home and my creepy neighbour was stood outside his house in the dark. I walked right past him and he just stood silently, what a weirdo".

Ignore the posters saying you are rude too. No you are not. As I said, you owe him nothing.

@Cheery1004

Ignore the people saying he sounds 'creepy' and 'weird.' He sounds normal. I bet he would behave this exact same way with a man.

Just coz someone is a neighbour that doesn't mean you have to engage with them.

Or should she be a nice polite iccle wumman?

All subservient and sweet and girly like.

Jesus wept.

Jeez lindale take a breath.

I have met this type of man before; thinks he's funny, thinks he's charming, thinks you should LOL and guffaw at his 'hilarious' quips.

Only ONE of the 4-5 interactions over a number of MONTHS that OP has described was a joke. The others were

1. he said hi and said my son had grown
2. he said hi
3. he asked to help jumpstart his car and then said thanks

Diego, the OP says it was pitch black, no street lights. I doubt she would have seen him if he hadn't have said anything. Who stands out in their garden in the dark?

Lindalee you're spot on actually.

You're making an awful lot of assumptions based on his sex.

Of course she doesn't have to "engage with him". But to start saying how odd and creepy he is just seems a little OTT based on their very limited (and very normal sounding) interactions thus far.

I think some of his behaviour is odd. Suddenly appearing at her fence, waiting on the drive, standing in the dark and saying hello when she isn't aware he's there is strange.

This isn't your normal neighbourly banter. By any stretch of the imagination.

You don't think it's odd that someone stood outside in the dark, seeing their neighbour walking to her house that hasn't seen them would speak out to say hello?

No, I come home in thr dark, especially at winter. Or I could be out putting my bins out, if I saw my neighbour I'd say hi, it would not occur to me to slink off because it was dark, that's even creepier. It's normal to say Hi when hou see your neighbour.

I can't even believe I'm trying to convince somone of that. It's one of the most basic of normal communications.

My mind is totally boggled.

And mine, bluntness!

My neighbour does most of my diy because he's got the tools and knows what he's doing. I went round there with my son for a brew earlier. We chat on the doorstep or drive several times a week. We both also chat to our other neighbours most days, especially in the summer. It's not unusual to pop our heads over the back fence either to chat. My kids help wash his cars. Never thought for one minute we weren't normal neighbours. Christ, not only saying hi more than once a year, but actually being neighbourly ^^

The OP said he appeared out of nowhere. She didn't seem him as she walked to her house because it was pitch black, that is very different to putting something in your bin where your neighbour would likely hear you.

Do you think it's ok that he makes the OP jump and feel uneasy? Do you blame her then?