To have ignored my neighbour?

[Cheery1004]

I've lived in my property for just over a year now. He is in the house next to mine. Over the year we have just exchanged a couple of hellos.
His ora just unsettles me.

Recently I pulled up he was outside I walked around to get.my son in the car, he hi. I got my son out turned around and he was waiting in his drive for me. Started going on about my son getting bigger.

A few weeks back I pulled up and I sent a quick text he tapped on my window and asked if I could help jump start his car. I said yes obviously as it was the nice thing to do. We couldn't get it started and he said something was wrong with my connection (it werent) so someone else pulled up and I asked him if he could help after saying to my neighbour numerous times oh maybe he can help you. As my son was asleep in the car and it was a hot day! I felt like he could have asked other people pulling up.
He then said thanks and he would trim my garden for me. I just said Thanks but not to worry that's not needed.

My DF then put up a gate for me and DS. He popped up and peered over the fence, spoke a tiny bit but was mainly being nosy. He then commented about me doing hard graft like he knew me. Both my parents said they felt awkward and he reminded them of a creepy relative we have. I agreed because that is who he reminds me of!
Just now I went outside to empty the Hoover and banged the filter outside for all of 30 secs. He appears at the fence and says if you're gonna bang it bang it and laughed. I just walked off and went inside.

AIBU to have ignored him? I value my privacy. And don't want to feel like every time I go outside he is about to make a comment. He is only a lodger and said he hasn't lived here for long but he was here before I moved in.

The funny thing is that you'd get more sympathy if you'd said it was who kept popping up every time you went outside. But it's a man so the default is "poor bloke, he sounds nice". Of course you should trust your instincts. Be civil, but don't get drawn into conversation. He may just have poor social skills, but women all too often are expected to quash any personal concerns and go out of their way to be nice - and then if something does happen they get blamed for putting themselves in harms way...

Well he hasn't done anything wrong. But everyone says trusting your instinct is the right thing to do and if he creeps you out or gives you a bad feeling, then make sure to avoid him and keep things on a nodding hello kind of neighbourly relationship.

Sod being nice.

Trust you gut feelings about people.

I mean it's not just me who has thought this so I wouldn't say there is something wrong with me. Like I said my parents met him all of 5 mins and drew the same conclusion as me. They were the ones to bring up the creepy relative and I agree because he comes across that way.
Maybe he has poor social skills but as other people have said trust your instinct and mine is saying just say a hello and don't engage further with him.

YANBU. Especially that last thing with the drive is kinda weird. I think you have to go with your gut. Like you say, it's hard to convey what actually happened. We weren't there and you were. Even your parents agreed that something feels a little off. Trust your instincts.

In a year you've had 4 interactions with him, in which he's said pleasantries about your ds, asked you if you can help him and said hello over the garden fence and made more small talk when you were outside, when he probably popped a head out (as I have in the past) to check what the banging was.

It doesn't sound too intrusive. I speak to my neighbours most days and we say similar things.

His ora just unsettles me. Rita?
Ora is another name for a Komono dragon. If this is his choice of pet, no wonder OP is intimidated.

But it's a man so the default is "poor bloke, he sounds nice".
Have you literally never read a single thread on MN?

@OP. YANBU to not wish to talk to him, but lots of people are a bit awkward or odd and the decent thing is to be civil.

He sounds a bit needy OP, maybe he's lonely and maybe he likes you?

Gut instinct is a good thing, listen to yours.

witch the interactions I mention in my OP have happened within the last 3 months. Before that nothing really other than a passing hi

Well maybe you get it from your parents?

The dude sounds fine, friendly and normal for a neighbour. It may be you and your parents who have the issue. Ignoring him was incredibly rude. Are you trying to say you think he fancies you or something?

And as you've probably gleaned it's not spelled Ora, as in Rita, it's spelled aura.

Perhaps he was hanging around at the top of his drive to offer the hedge cutting in return for you help.
Maybe an afterthought once he had gone inside.
I don't see this information about him going inside then coming out again in your original post.

How is four minor interactions in three months "needy".

Honestly the mind boggles. Is there a rule you can only briefly speak to your neighbour once a year, because once a month clearly makes you needy and weird.

Ffs.

I say trust your instincts and just be polite but distant. From what you have said he sounds like he’s being over-familiar which is inappropriate and uncomfortable if you don’t want this. There is no reason why you should put up with it because he is ‘just being neighbourly’ if you don’t like it.

The incident with him hanging around happened before he offered to cut the hedge.
Yes I realise it's not spelt ora as I've made a joke of it upthread!

I mean it's not just me who has thought this so I wouldn't say there is something wrong with me. Like I said my parents met him all of 5 mins and drew the same conclusion as me. They were the ones to bring up the creepy relative and I agree because he comes across that way
Despite many saying that you can just ignore him and that it seems normal, you have your opinion. Which is what you already thought anyway. So stick with it.

I am always amazed at the things people get offended by these days.

But this takes the biscuit, it really does.

If he just crept about, just popped up unexpectedly, was just 'there' when you happened to turn round, with no attempt at conversation....then maybe.

But he sounds like a normal guy just wanting to be neighbourly.

Sheesh,

Waiting on the drive for the OP, looking over her gate and commenting when the OP is going about her business is needy yes Bluntness100.

And why all the twatiness about the ora?

But if people ‘being neighbourly’ are doing it in a way that makes you feel uncomfortable you absolutely don’t have to pander to it beyond a basic level of politeness.

He sounds normal but you feel he's intrusive. Not much you can do but try to avoid him if you don't want to speak to him.

If ive wanted to speak to my neighbour and saw them coming I'd wait for them, Ive never assumed it made me needy. Clearly I was wrong and it's weird as fuck.

As is apparantly me talking to them over their gate, or making a passing comment.

In future we should all not talk to our neighbours in any way shape nor form, you're right, how dare he make a passing comment, needy weirdo that's he is,

Sigh.

I totally agree karyatide, it’s going back to this Trumpist idea that women should always be accepting of attention whether they want it or not. And accept it with a smile.

Is is not rude to ignore someone if they make you feel uncomfortable. He may not have done anything to you, but gut instinct is there for a reason. If something isnt feeling right about him, just stay away. I don’t think any of the things you described make him sound like a bad person. Maybe just lonely and wanting a chat. But, this is your home and if he’s there over the fence every time you go out, and you don’t like that, then that’s your choice. You don’t have to engage with him.

Oh god now it's a feminist issue?

OP, trust your instincts.