to use the gents' toilets?

[Hadalifeonce]

On arriving at Gatwick after our holiday, I was desperate for the loo; the queue for the ladies was almost to the baggage reclaim belt, being of a 'certain age' I was busting.
I told DH of my problem, he said he would go into the gents to see if there was a free cubicle, he called me in, I dashed into the 1st cubicle (one of many free) had my wee and dashed out again. I was getting my cleansing gel out of my handbag when a man, who had obviously been in the toilets at the time, made a pointed comment about some women not being prepared to wait their turn and to feeling free to go into the gents.
I turned round and stated that as a middle aged woman with no pelvic floor, I couldn't wait. This seemed to take the wind from his sails.
But was I being unreasonable to use the gents?

In the situation you were not being unreasonable. Better to use the men's than wet yourself. I would complain to the airport though as there shouldn't be that long of a queue.

Men need privacy too.

But was I being unreasonable to use the gents?

Yes.

Why on earth not just ask the front of the queue if it's an emergency?

I appreciate that everyone needs privacy, which is why I dashed in and didn't stay to wash my hands.

I'd have told him I identify as a man tbh.

I think yabu, as if a man were to use the women's toilet it would have been an uproar. Next time ask front of queue if it's an emergency. Men need privacy too.

Was there no disabled loo free ?

I don't think you were unreasonable.

Though it might save embarrassment if you'd used the Disabled facility.

Until public facilities such as airports take action to equalise access to loos, YANBU. Anywhere that routinely has a queue outside the women's and no queue for the men's doesn't have equitable provision.

Small places, probably unisex is the practical approach. But large ones like airports have room for more women's than men's, plus some unisex and 'parent and child' loos.

I would point out, that the cubicles were opposite the sinks, and not near the urinals.
If it ever happens again, I'll go with MilkTwoSugars's suggestion!

Would you like it if a man came into the ladies loo's at football grounds when there is massive ques for the men and hardly any for the woman's?

No thought not.

I would only use the men's if it's a one person at a time bathroom.

Was there a reason you didn't use the accessible facilities or the baby change facilities?

IIRC there are also two sets of loos at either end of baggage claim at Gatwick - did you try both sets?

I've used the gents in the past when the queue has been crazy for the ladies. Although I don't understand how it can take some people so long to use a cubical (I am a super quick wee-er though!) that I'm not surprised the ladies queues are always so long.

Interesting how we are now telling OP to use the disabled toilet when she can use a normal sized cubicle, but would criticise a parent with a pram who cannot use a normal cubicle (due to not wanting the child kinapped) when they need the toilet.

OP- you ANBU and I wish that I had the guts to do the same.

Lol there’s always massive queues at the woman’s loo at any of the hundreds of matches I’ve been to as there is only one loo for the women but loads for the men

Why wouldn't you just go to the front of the ladies queue and just apologise and say you really really cant wait.

It's hardly fair to use the mens they deserve privacy too.

Interesting how we are now telling OP to use the disabled toilet when she can use a normal sized cubicle, but would criticise a parent with a pram who cannot use a normal cubicle (due to not wanting the child kinapped) when they need the toilet

Using an accessible toilet for an urgent need for the toilet is different from a paranoid fear of an infinitesimally low risk.

Definitely not unreasonable, OP!

When using public loos, the vast majority of people only want to pee, so the cubicles in the gents are often empty.

I don't understand why the loos in public buildings are not simply divided into cubicles in one room and urinals in another, with no "gents" and "ladies". That would make more efficient use of the space and reduce queuing time.

Interesting how we are now telling OP to use the disabled toilet

because, from the OP

a middle aged woman with no pelvic floor, I couldn't wait.

sounds like a condition for which using a disabled toilet would be acceptable ? Especially since the apparently recent drive to plaster disabled loos everywhere with "Remember: Not all disabilities are visible" stickers.

Why are the queues for the gents so much shorter?
Simple its called a urinal.
Also probably half of blokes don't wash their hands afterwards.

How would you have felt if there was a man in the ladies toilets?

Would you like it if a man came into the ladies loo's at football grounds when there is massive ques for the men and hardly any for the woman's?

Silly comparison, because that would never, ever happen.

I'm pretty sure I've never seen a queue outside of a men's toilet in my life.

Even if I had approached the front of the queue for some kind hearted sole to let me go first, no idea how long before a cubicle becomes free, and I have no idea how many women are waiting their turn with their legs crossed!
Several unoccupied cubicles in the gents, nowhere near the urinals....

Silly comparison, because that would never, ever happen

It really does happen. Seen it regularly at sports stadiums and randomly at a Motley Crue gig!