to use the gents' toilets?

[Hadalifeonce]

On arriving at Gatwick after our holiday, I was desperate for the loo; the queue for the ladies was almost to the baggage reclaim belt, being of a 'certain age' I was busting.
I told DH of my problem, he said he would go into the gents to see if there was a free cubicle, he called me in, I dashed into the 1st cubicle (one of many free) had my wee and dashed out again. I was getting my cleansing gel out of my handbag when a man, who had obviously been in the toilets at the time, made a pointed comment about some women not being prepared to wait their turn and to feeling free to go into the gents.
I turned round and stated that as a middle aged woman with no pelvic floor, I couldn't wait. This seemed to take the wind from his sails.
But was I being unreasonable to use the gents?

'takes no time at all'

Since the birth of my first child I have to stand up and move around mid way in a wee to make sure my bladder is fully emptied.... sometimes even after ive been and am about to leave cubicle I realise I need to go again because I havent properly emptied my bladder....
and i am FAR from alone in being like this.... so many of my friends whove had babies are exactly the same....
That coupled with periods and you can see why women take vastly longer in toilets and hence that really should be facilitated with extra cubicles

Exactly, tell him you identified as a man today, so your a man . Yanbu at all, if there were no accessible toilets, you had to do what you had to do. Better than wet or soil yourself. I hate asking, it is humiliating and you can get some right grumpy types that tell you that they are also desparate too so you need to wait your turn.

Oh was not pulling down her trousers exposing herself publically, she was inside a cubicle.

Really, this is a non issue, you were fine, you have to do what you have to do.

I wouldn't mind a man in the toilet there's stalls I don't like men hanging around underwear departments. Go away and look and at mans pants

The real issue here is that men's loos don't need to be as bigs as the women's loos. Architects need to be notified of this very obvious piece of information so that they can design public loos more practically.

That makes womens toilets more expensive per user than mens toilets ...

I think of the situation was reversed and a man went into the women's it would be unreasonable so I guess it is

I woulden't mind it if the situation was reversed, if needs must. But it really never is, as there is always a queue for the ladies and none for the men, hence op nipping into the Men's. Dignity comes first.

Also with men, then can wee outside much easily due to their anatomy, whereas it is more difficult for a woman.

It wouldn't bother me if a man or a woman used the opposite gender's toilets in an emergency.
I'd rather that than them piss themselves.

YANBU given the position you were in and the fact your DH checked the lay of the land. Find the whole self ID thing boring when it comes to toilets, I'm in a cubicle, I don't care.

No man ever needs to feel unsafe if a woman uses the men's toilets

No man (or boy) has ever been sexually assaulted by a woman then? You learn something new every day.

Obviously I can't speak for all men and am not pretending to - but for me personally I couldn't give a shit I'm there for a piss not for a nice neighbourly chat!

I don't like men hanging around underwear departments. Go away and look and at mans pants

What if he's buying underwear for his partner? Or waiting outside the changing rooms for her? There seem to be many women's changing rooms right by all the underwear.

It doesn't matter if the OP or anyone else on the thread would mind if a man was in the ladies, this man did mind. Why should his feelings not count? It's not for men or women to tell the other group when their feelings on privacy and safety are valid. If it's a mens toilet and a man doesn't want a woman in there then that's all there is to it, he doesn't need to justify his feelings any more than a woman would.

Dignity comes first.

Just not men's dignity though eh?

No man ever needs to feel unsafe if a woman uses the men's toilets

Not all women would feel unsafe in a men's toilet. We're not all paranoid about men being perverts.

It doesn't matter if the OP or anyone else on the thread would mind if a man was in the ladies, this man did mind. Why should his feelings not count?

.. You can't please everyone all of the time. If the man was a racist who didn't want a PoC in the same bathroom you would tell him tough luck. OP wasn't acting inappropriatly, she was breaking no laws.

You are really comparing a man wanting to keep a male space male with racism??

"You can't please everyone all of the time. If the man was a racist who didn't want a PoC in the same bathroom you would tell him tough luck. OP wasn't acting inappropriatly, she was breaking no laws."

Every Trans thread on this site ever would benefit from you posting that view on it with the genders reversed.

I've seem longer men's queues at motor racing events.

At one endurance race I've been to loads of times (birth to about 15) it was common for men to be directed by the attendant into the ladies showers because of the huge difference in numbers of men and women. I didn't have a real problem with it when it was in the blocks with full length cubicles with working locks but I have screamed at a man who opened the door (was locked but lock was crap) on me naked in the shower.

I think I would only really nip into the men's if there was no other option (baby change, disabled and the women's is closed not just long queue). I've let pregnant women, hopping children and people that ask go ahead of me.

So you would not care men coming in to female spaces got it.

“Would you like it if a man came into the ladies loo's at football grounds when there is massive ques for the men and hardly any for the woman's?

Silly comparison, because that would never, ever happen.

I'm pretty sure I've never seen a queue outside of a men's toilet in my life.”

You obviously weren’t at the darts at the Glasgow Hydro in 2014 then 😂

And yes....... there were men using the ladies toilets.

No OP you were not unreasonable. I see no reason why women shouldn't use the gents loos if there is a queue for the ladies and no queue for the gents.

Anyway can't we all identify as men these days? If you'd said that it would have probably taken the wind out of his sails even more!

Stormtreader.. I feel the same with the genders reversed. I wouldn't care about a man being in the women's toilet. I'm in a cubicle anyway.

I've seen the trans threads... All very amusing.

YANBU. If there aren't enough toilets for women that's the airport's fault, not yours. (Probably designed by a man who only thought of what would cater for men?)

As others have said, if you ask to go in front of the ladies' queue, there may be someone argumentative who blocks your way, and you may be going ahead of other women/children who urgently need it too.

No-one is going to use the stinky men's loos if they don't have to!

Interesting about some events having longer queues for the men's than the women's, but mostly the women's having longer queues. Perhaps building regulations should stipulate that all event venues should provide three lots of toilets at each point, one permanently Women's, one permanently Men's, and one with a changeable sign depending on the demographic of a particular event.