Children being introduced to affair partner

[user123456781]

4 weeks after being found out cheating and leaving (had been playing happy families before)

H had known her about 4 weeks before Dday

Kids (9 and 8) were told Saturday why he left.

Yesterday he FaceTimed OW during contact with kids and got them to say Hi

I'm broken...not sure how much more I can take...my poor babies

This is not ok is it? Aibu?

Kids (9 and 8) were told Saturday why he left.

I appreciate your ex has behaved badly in all of this, but this really wasn't right either. Your dc are too young for you to tell them that their father is leaving because of a girlfriend.

@hibblekiddle do you know my children? how do you know what is right for them?

my children had asked me alot of questions and after alot of thinking, reading articles on subject, I concluded that I wasn't prepared to lie to them. I kept it simple no details. I wasn't prepared to lie and say we had mutually agreed to split because that wasn't the case. They took it well and if he hadn't of video called her in their presence they wouldn't be upset with him. I knew he'd do something like this so again I knew I had to be truthful.

Their world had already been turned upside down, for them to find out I had lied at later date would be more upseting. One lie always leads to another.

And H agreed to telling them as we agreed it beforehand, he just didn't want to be there when I did.

hibble so he introduces the OW and the OP is wrong to be honest with her DC as to why he left? Get a grip, DC aren’t stupid and have probably picked that up already. Who are you to decide what is right with regards to her DC. That decision is the OP and not some random on MN.

@hibbledibble
Your dc are too young for you to tell them that their father is leaving because of a girlfriend.

Not too young for him to do it, though. Just too young for OP to talk about

It's very easy, if you've never been through it, to pontificate about what should and shouldn't be done. The OP's life is all up in the air, suddenly everything has to be re-thought, she doesn't know what's happening from one day to the next, probably being hit with a new problem daily, financial worries...but no, she should be worrying about protecting her ex from the fall-out of his actions.

Children want and need to know what's going on. They're being passed around like parcels, the least that they're owed is the truth.

@ hibbledibble It’s not the OPs job to endlessly mitigate his behaviour. Who do they think the FaceTime woman was? His cleaning lady?

Would I have preferred to deal with it differently? absolutely. Would I have prefer him sit down tell me he's unhappy and we could either work on a plan to improve marriage or agreed to split. Without anyone else involved.

Then DC could be told in a planned and considered manner.

But no. He got found out. Then nect day he packed his bag, told kids he was leaving (without discussing with me) 10 minutes before they went to school. They spent day in school crying.

Trust me I've protected them from everything he has done. Knowledge that he had a girlfriend is nothing compared to all that I've discovered.

He has also lied to them since leaving, they say to me why did he lie to me about that? they are pointless lies too. He just doesn't know how to tell truth.

And I've also since discovered OW was in a bikini in video call

He's a shit.