AIBU to be really irritated by women who give up good careers to sell tat on the internet?

[itsgoodtobehome]

Right, I know this one might be a bit controversial, but I am generally interested to see if other people are also irritated by this.

So, I have several friends/acquaintances who have had good careers (teachers, lawyers, accountants, music execs, investment bankers) who have had children and given up work. This is not by AIBU, as that's entirely up to them, and lucky them if that's what they choose to do.

They have then gone on to set up their own home-made businesses, mostly selling via the internet. Again, not my AIBU, as being entrepreneurial is great, and good that they are not solely relying on their partners for income.

However, (and here is the AIBU), what they are making and selling, seems to me like utter crap. Here are some examples:

1. One is making homemade lampshades and matching wallpaper for children's bedrooms. Nice idea in theory, but I saw one 'rugby/football' design which basically looked like some kid had stuck all of their panini football stickers on their bedroom wall!

1. Another is making stuffed toys, bags, bunting etc out of children's old clothes and blankets. Again, a nice idea (and the stuffed toys made out of old baby-grows are quite cute!!). However, she has recently been touting these PE/Sports/Beach bags, which quite frankly, look like the sort of drawstring bag I remember making in sewing lessons in primary school!

1. A third has started making this pearl jewelry. Unfortunately, the pearls look as though they came out of a Christmas cracker, and then they are (very badly) glued onto the back of an earring stud, or onto some manky bit of leather strap like the sort of thing A-Ha used to wear on their wrists in the '80s!!

1. Finally, another one is selling very expensive designer children's clothes that she buys at a ridiculous amount, and then charges an even more ridiculous amount on her website.

I'm probably sounding very mean spirited, but it just annoys me that these highly capable women are selling such tat on the internet (and it's not cheap either) to try and replace their previous careers, when they have so much talent, experience in other areas.

AIBU, or do others get this too?

FASH84 you choose to have that facebook contact however.

I delete them, but then get persistent friend requests from their 'business pages' or 'u ok hun?' messages. It's an irritant.

I do think that there is an issue around what 'starting your own business' means in our society for men and women - women are guided towards cupcakes and low-barrier-to-entry crafts, whereas a man starting a business would be presumed to be getting professional business advice and going into a trade or self-employed consultancy role with a direct route to expansion.
The same issue occurs in other places, eg: buying expensive shoes is an 'investment' for women, but for men and investment occurs at a bank.

This thread is all about giving women a slapping down if they are getting ideas above their station.
No it's not. Anyone (including women) could set up hugely successful independent enterprises. I've said repeatedly I'm all for local businesses and local craftspeople.
They should know their place, stop aspiring, be more deprecating of themselves and others.
Sigh... except nobody has said that.
Pride is sinful don't ya know.
And again nobody has said that..

Yes... it's a learning process. I get that.

But part of learning is realising that the first few things you produce when learning are probably not that good. My first cards were a great achievement for me. They weren't a sellable product.

Or are we going to exist in some daft bubble where we praise and encoruage all businesses regardless of poor quality their product is?

My cousin can't cook well, let alone bake. Hypothetically, bake their first dozen fairy cakes and they're pretty terrible (but an awesome step in the right direction for her). Shall we encourage them to get a stall at a Christmas market where they can sell their not very nice fairy cakes? After all, it'll really boost their self esteem.
Or, do we encourage cousin to continue learning to bake, support them improving and then in a few months once they've got reasonably good (but not professional) then genuinely encourage them to sell because their product is half decent?

Not every step on a learning journey can or should be sold.

Yet again, if someone wants to sell a product, the product actually has to be reasonable.

*Or, do we encourage cousin to continue learning to bake, support them improving and then in a few months once they've got reasonably good (but not professional) then genuinely encourage them to sell because their product is half decent?
*

How terribly controlling of you.

How terribly controlling of you.
It's not controlling at all.
It's wanting to see someone we care about do well.

They could go to the local craft circuit peddling really awful bakes, have almost nobody buy them, get a reputation for not doing good bakes and find themselves deflated. Then when they are good, people already associate them with selling awful cakes.

Or, it's great for them to learn, but wouldn't it be good for them to have something lovely that will sell, that they get seen on the craft circuit and known for making something nice.
The 2nd is much more supportive and more likely to see a new hobby baker do well and feel good about themselves.

I we're going to disagree because your view seems to be 'tell everyone who's only just learning something how awesome their journey is, encourage them to sell things that are poor quality (regardless of the impact on their finances and reputation trying to break into a saturated market) and if you have an issue with any business selling tatty product then you're a mean person looking to slap women down'.

*It's wanting to see someone we care about do well.
*

It;'s not up to you to control that path.

When In started in business I would have been furious if someone else had taken it upon themselves to tell me when my stuff was good enough to sell under the guise of "caring " about me.

My mistakes were mine to make my journey was mine,
Not some " well meaning" cousin.

I couldn't get irritated by this, but I would certainly question in my head why they would do this.

If I was fortunate enough to be able to give up a well paid professional job to SAH and just needed pin money, I'd sooner do 10 hours a week at Tesco. I can't imagine spending hours working on these kind of roles for the little they must pay.

FatBarry but some people go on to make a good amount of money from this.
I started off in a small way selling crafts online, it has taken off.

I earn more than my OH and work half his hours.

To me a better option than Tesco.

So don't buy it

Don't forget what you might deem as tat others might think is fantastic.
I happen to think selling on the internet is a great idea as it allows you to be flexible for children's doctors appointments, sports days etc.
I say good luck to them that they can make a living with flexible hours that you don't get in a normal job

It's probably because they can make a bit of money out of it without needing the pressure and time spent on a full time job. Professions such as teaching are very hard work and difficult to sustain full time with kids.

What is MLM please? And Arbone (sp?)
Thanks

This thread is all about giving women a slapping down if they are getting ideas above their station.

To me, this thread is the opposite and I really don't agree with the accusations of it being mean-spirited.

I think the people who are agreeing with OP (myself included) are saying women should absolutely be supported and encouraged to branch out into self-employment, but why on earth are they selling themselves short producing "tat".

Why aren't these former teachers, accountants, salespeople etc setting up businesses that really make the most of their skills and experience and give them the job satisfaction and financial reward they deserve.

I also disagree with the idea that we should blindly support and encourage women on clearly fruitless ventures, because the alternative is "women bashing". Women are not small children with fragile egos that need to be protected from the harsh reality of market forces. Better that a woman realises at an early stage that the world doesn't need more glittery wine glasses so she can focus her energy on building a business in something else more valuable.

I disagree this is about women getting ideas above their station. This is about professional women.

Yes lulu.

Don't assume that they have chosen to give up their jobs - many women find even now that their employers choose to give them up once kids are on the scene. These women still need to make a living and why not do it in a way which is flexible and compatible with your own lifestyle and interests?

When men set up businesses they are "entrepreneurs", lifeblood of the economy. But when women set up businesses they are "playing at their hobbies" and embarrassing themselves and wasting their potential?

Oh well.

It's always women though isn't it? Somehow all the male parents manage to carry on with professional jobs after the children arrive, and don't suddenly feel the need to give it all up to sell the fruits of their crafting labours......surely that's what we need to address, the ongoing inequality that defaults to women as the ones who sacrifice their career.
If people really want to do it, all power to their elbow, and if it's tat people won't buy it, but it's not a decision made in a vacuum.

But they’re not replacing their careers. They gave up the career to raise their children (and why shouldn’t they?). The selling “tat” is just a sideline project because god forbid they want to do something other than childcare 24/7. Why would this annoy you, OP? Leave them alone. If you don’t like what they’re selling, don’t buy it.

Your tasteful objet d'art is another persons tasteless tat..you do realise that? If they are happy, successful and fulfilled what does it matter what anyone thinks of what they make?

Selling tat is annoying from an environmental perspective but it's immaterial what people did beforehand.

Well they’re hardly likely to make much money out of it if the stuff is as shit as you describe

I don't know - everyone has different tastes. I look at antiques and think you'd need to pay me to give it houseroom yet people will pay £££s or ££££s for something.

The tat selling doesn't bother me - each to their own and all that.

I do find it disappointing on a societal level that so many women with well-paid professional jobs give up their careers and financial independence after having children. Something that few men seem willing to do.

As long as the parent who continues to give up work/reduce hours is predominantly the mother, I don't think we will ever achieve equality in the workplace. (Note: I know there are some men who do this, but in my experience, and also on MN, they seem to be very much in the minority).

I don't know what the answer is as obviously on an individual level, people need to choose what suits their family and personal preference.

Why care what they do unless they pushing you to buy it?! good luck if they enjoy it n make some money out of it and get to be there for the kids at the same time if that's what they want and can afford it!!!

I don't know what the answer is as obviously on an individual level, people need to choose what suits their family and personal preference.

Exactly.

And as much as it suck on a societal level sometimes that's the best option for individual families.

OH and I both had demanding careers - long,sporadic, unplanned hours, lots of travel.
Zero family support.
We didn't earn enough to employ a nanny, so options were limited.
Plus we both wanted to have our kids looked after at home by a parent.
We could do neither job part time.
I wanted to and OH lacked the confidence to stay at home with the kids for several reasons.
As it turned out our eldest had chronic health problems in the primary years ( resolved now thankfully) and never had more than 80% attendance at school.

Our options were limited.

So I had to work out ways of making money at home.
Selling my craft work is one that I have settled on and works for us as a family.