AIBU to be really irritated by women who give up good careers to sell tat on the internet?

[itsgoodtobehome]

Right, I know this one might be a bit controversial, but I am generally interested to see if other people are also irritated by this.

So, I have several friends/acquaintances who have had good careers (teachers, lawyers, accountants, music execs, investment bankers) who have had children and given up work. This is not by AIBU, as that's entirely up to them, and lucky them if that's what they choose to do.

They have then gone on to set up their own home-made businesses, mostly selling via the internet. Again, not my AIBU, as being entrepreneurial is great, and good that they are not solely relying on their partners for income.

However, (and here is the AIBU), what they are making and selling, seems to me like utter crap. Here are some examples:

1. One is making homemade lampshades and matching wallpaper for children's bedrooms. Nice idea in theory, but I saw one 'rugby/football' design which basically looked like some kid had stuck all of their panini football stickers on their bedroom wall!

1. Another is making stuffed toys, bags, bunting etc out of children's old clothes and blankets. Again, a nice idea (and the stuffed toys made out of old baby-grows are quite cute!!). However, she has recently been touting these PE/Sports/Beach bags, which quite frankly, look like the sort of drawstring bag I remember making in sewing lessons in primary school!

1. A third has started making this pearl jewelry. Unfortunately, the pearls look as though they came out of a Christmas cracker, and then they are (very badly) glued onto the back of an earring stud, or onto some manky bit of leather strap like the sort of thing A-Ha used to wear on their wrists in the '80s!!

1. Finally, another one is selling very expensive designer children's clothes that she buys at a ridiculous amount, and then charges an even more ridiculous amount on her website.

I'm probably sounding very mean spirited, but it just annoys me that these highly capable women are selling such tat on the internet (and it's not cheap either) to try and replace their previous careers, when they have so much talent, experience in other areas.

AIBU, or do others get this too?

The key American is skills.

If someone is a talented photographer and turns their hand to the odd job because they enjoy it and it gets money then awesome. All power to them.

Same if they're great at yoga and choose to run a weekly class.

If they're excellent at painting and want to do some pieces and sell them, fabulous.

If they're great at jewellery making or card making or scrapbooking and make well crafted pieces, then it's a nice hobby business.

If it's selling tat that looks like a 7 year old did it, then it is a bit ridiculous.
If it's buy a piece of tatty furniture, spray it with crackle glaze and claim it's upcycled, then it's ridiculous.

It’s a shame so many smart and accomplished women don’t make the powerful contributions they could to society

What, like raising every fucking generation of powerful men?

Well all parents do that, not just the ones selling tat online

OK. The majority seem to think I am BU, so I will accept that. I do like Maisy’s point though that it seems to be things that they are not particularly good at. If someone was an amazing artist, or created wonderful pieces of jewellery and they were fulfilling their lifetime’s ambition, then I totally get that and admire it. I’m talking about people who have never shown an ounce of artistic talent, but suddenly decide to make some dubious item (I like the example of wine glasses dipped in glitter)!!

To respond to another comment, there are loads of vacancies for nurses and GPs, with good salaries offered.

Finally, this isn’t about envy at all. I enjoy my job and have no desire to be a SAHP. For me, I just find it a bit sad that talented women who could make a real difference in the world, end up spending their days making less than average craft products.

Seems I’m in the minority though.

No, certainly not all parents do that.

A local woman started making cookies when her kids were at school. She ended up selling so many she put all her kids through (US) college.

I imagine the OP would have rolled her eyes at this woman at the start of her cookie-baking career.

Or maybe baking cookies is OK but making 'tat' isn't?

Hah, this thread could be about me

I don't have an extensive education but managed to forge a good career in the City. Then I had my babies and never went back, mainly due to the cost of commuting and my husband's work travel. And I really didn't enjoy the career that much in the end.

I now have my own business, selling "tat" that I've made and designed myself. I have my own website and I sell through Etsy, making 4 figures each month, and a lot more in the run up to the Christmas.

I've been doing this for two years and never imagined it would end up going so well. Being able to be creative AND getting paid for it is FANTASTIC, so much better than the rat race in the City. I don't make as much as I did there but it is a lot more than what I'd get in a minimum wage job. And I am completely my own boss. What's not to like?

Oh and just to add, I price my craft like a retailer, not like a hobbyist and I never ever push my "tat" to my friends.

Cross post Maisy your point is exactly what I was trying to say.

I love to support the businesses of people who are good at things - yoga, photography, floristry etc, it’s the amateur attempts at arty crafty stuff that just looks crap that winds me up! Fairy lights in a wine bottle is one that springs to mind.

My business selling 'tat' made a three figure turnover last year and a very decent salary for me and employment for others.

Just saying........

Maybe it's liberating for them to do something they don't excel at and that could be as good a role model for their dcs as being on the career hamster wheel.Too much pressure around perfectionism in society these days. Presumably, while you might think it a good career, they value being home with the dcs and have chosen that over getting loads more money. Maybe they like being creative and being their own boss. Maybe they'll return to the high powered career later. Life is too short.
YABU

A 3 figure turnover?

Like £600?

Is that a mistake?

Or maybe baking cookies is OK but making 'tat' isn't?

Baking cookies is always ok! what sort of a maniac would object to more cookies in the world?

How long for your friends have been making these things? Is this a very recent development? If it is, they are likely to get fed up soon. Even though it is rewarding to be creative (whether the outcome is any good or not), it is hard work to keep sales going and unless you'll charge like a professional, you'll soon burn out.

I guess my (probably unreasonable) problem with this phenomenon is that it blurs the line between hobby and job. Problem because the monetising of a hobby suggests that the woman’s role as sahp is not valued enough for her to be able to feel she is contributing to the household (otherwise why not just do the hobby for fun?), and because choosing to do a hobby as a job rather than an actual job implies that work for women is just a side gig. Not saying my view is reasonable, but this is why I personally find it depressing to see ex-accountants selling ‘fairy doors’ for eg.

You sound very mean spirited and quite frankly a shitty friend. I suggest you stop judging and bashing women who are trying to juggle a career change with a young family.

YABU.

My guess is they either need the hours to meet the conditions of benefits or they persuaded their husbands it was fine for them to switch to self employment as then they wouldn't lose a salary when they quit work.

I have my own website and I sell through Etsy, making 4 figures each month, and a lot more in the run up to the Christmas.

You probably aren't selling tat then if you are doing that well. Would love to know what you do sell! Congratulations on your success.

Op I'm kind of with you. I mean, it's great if someone manages to start a business which gives them an income and lets them stay at home. That's always an achievement. I love small businesses generally and buy from them over big chains. And I support women having a go at something because if it works out, that's great.

But I do know a lot of craft business owners online and much of them do sell absolute tat. It gets depressing when it's your friend and you want to support them but really don't want to buy something sloppily made, by someone who genuinely has a lot of other skills. I have a friend making handmade cards at present. She's so lovely but these are literally cards an 8 year old could make and she's selling them for £5 each. I have bought one in support but because they're a bit crap only her friends are buying them. It's awkward because either we collectively have to keep shelling out in support of her or her business will fold. I'm not buying any more, much as I care about her but it's embarrassing. It makes the friendship a bit awkward. I have shared her fb page at least but still no one is interested.

Maybe it's liberating for them to do something they don'texcelat
Then have a hobby and do that as a hobby. Don't plough money into creating poor quality tat to sell.

The point of having a business (in whatever area) is being reasonably competent at whatever service you are offering or product you are creating.

Good photographer? Great.
Excellent painter? Great.
Strong yoga/zumba person? Awesome train as an instructor

Facebook and Etsy are full of people selling utter tat. Saying tat is on the same level and equally as goos as people who are skilled in their craft is an insult to people who've spent time honing their skills.

Someone who sings alright at kareoke is probably going to be horrendous if they turn up to a live music night and do essentially kareoke. Someone who earns some cash gigging who is a decent musician is not in the same category as kareoke singers.
Same for crafts. Same for services.

Being reasonably competent is a basic requirement for a business.

I think that the buyers of such tat are unreasonable, not the sellers

Sounds better than the unique, arbonn crowd etc.
Sounds creative and interesting.
I sense jealousy

I take your point. But I am in one of those professions and quite frankly I’m envious of their bravery to give it up and just go for it, even though it might be tat! The way things are at the moment and where things are going i’d give anything to sell tat on the internet instead

mnahmnah
Then you do what one of my former colleagues did, learn a skill, work on it, get good at it and THEN leave your job and launch a business.
Or another friend who kept working part time in a cafe whilst they did some additional courses (needed qualification for their area) and then grew their own business around part time work until they were in a position to work the hours they want.

It's not the selling handmade things that's the ridiculous part. It's creating tat that looks a bloody mess and claiming it's ypur new business venture.

There's loads of options out there, just not selling tat.

Working on it!

No, I don’t think I’m a shitty friend. My friend who trained to be a florist, then gave up her job to become a full time florist is brilliant at it. She did my wedding flowers, and I always use her for any flowers I need. I have another friend who trained in photography after she had kids, and she is also brilliant and I always recommend her for anyone looking for a photographer. I can give similar examples of friends who are cake makers, Pilates teachers and acupuncturists. These friends have trained for these skills and are good at them. The ones I referred to in my op are not, and that’s the problem.