AIBU to be really irritated by women who give up good careers to sell tat on the internet?

[itsgoodtobehome]

Right, I know this one might be a bit controversial, but I am generally interested to see if other people are also irritated by this.

So, I have several friends/acquaintances who have had good careers (teachers, lawyers, accountants, music execs, investment bankers) who have had children and given up work. This is not by AIBU, as that's entirely up to them, and lucky them if that's what they choose to do.

They have then gone on to set up their own home-made businesses, mostly selling via the internet. Again, not my AIBU, as being entrepreneurial is great, and good that they are not solely relying on their partners for income.

However, (and here is the AIBU), what they are making and selling, seems to me like utter crap. Here are some examples:

1. One is making homemade lampshades and matching wallpaper for children's bedrooms. Nice idea in theory, but I saw one 'rugby/football' design which basically looked like some kid had stuck all of their panini football stickers on their bedroom wall!

1. Another is making stuffed toys, bags, bunting etc out of children's old clothes and blankets. Again, a nice idea (and the stuffed toys made out of old baby-grows are quite cute!!). However, she has recently been touting these PE/Sports/Beach bags, which quite frankly, look like the sort of drawstring bag I remember making in sewing lessons in primary school!

1. A third has started making this pearl jewelry. Unfortunately, the pearls look as though they came out of a Christmas cracker, and then they are (very badly) glued onto the back of an earring stud, or onto some manky bit of leather strap like the sort of thing A-Ha used to wear on their wrists in the '80s!!

1. Finally, another one is selling very expensive designer children's clothes that she buys at a ridiculous amount, and then charges an even more ridiculous amount on her website.

I'm probably sounding very mean spirited, but it just annoys me that these highly capable women are selling such tat on the internet (and it's not cheap either) to try and replace their previous careers, when they have so much talent, experience in other areas.

AIBU, or do others get this too?

Each to their own, but yes I find it sad when women sell tat to earn pin money. It just seems a bit demeaning to me.

Really? I’m personally very happy that those women can earn some pin money. Having a child/ren normally means the mother either reducing her hours or leaving work altogether. Or paying out a huge amount in childcare. How brilliant that there is an option there for those who can’t go back to their job for whatever reason. Why shouldn’t they earn pin money?

Anyone who has the ability to be a doctor or nurse and isn't doing so at a time like this is a bit selfish yes

I'm probably sounding very mean spirited
You do.

I totally get where you’re coming from OP! I think it’s funny, but maybe I’m just bitter because I had to keep doing the proper job when I had babies (and would have done anything not to)! What I have noticed more though is people who do keep their current jobs and then add on a ridiculous pyramid scheme like Arbonne and expect people to act like it is a proper career choice.

What is MLM?

It’s none of your business. YABU.

Anyone who has the ability to be a doctor or nurse and isn't doing so at a time like this is a bit selfish yes

To fulfill all the well paying doctor and nurse vacancies there are?

What is pin money?

It’s a bit of extra money the woman (usually/historically) had for her own spends. Like buying a magazine or make up. Not money for essentials like gas and food.

Depends what you mean by wellpaid but there are certainly a lot of medical and nurse vacancies. Whether those are compatible with family responsibilities or cover childcare costs is another matter.

I'm going to get flamed for this, but I absolutely understand a woman making the decision for her family to be a SAHP. Yes there are pros and cons but they make their choice and I totally respect them for it.

But women giving up jobs to sell tat or get into an MLM always makes me feel a bit sorry for them because it's throwing money at something which will more often than not lose money. It's losing money for a pipe dream of some spendies whilst staying at home. I've seen garbage being sold like a photo frame with wallpaper behind it as 'art', fabric stretched over a frame like 60 minute makeover (again art), kilner jars filled with pick n mix, decidedly average paintings, 'upcycled furniture' (which seems to mean half sand it down, distress the edges or spray it with crackle glaze).
None of these women are particularly talented in these area or very crafty and it does make me wonder how much they are spending trying to sell wine glasses dipped in glitter on Facebook.

Now people who actually have a skill/talent and do that to make money as a small flexible job, total respect there.

Depends what you mean by wellpaid

Reflective of the responsibilities and requirements of the role under increasing budget and staffing cuts.

Best do your nursing training Barbs

I'm going to get flamed for this, but I absolutely understand a woman making the decision for her family to be a SAHP.

Why on earth would you think you would get flamed for that? On MN of all places? this place is full of SAHPs.

Yes, YABU. I gave up my career when I had DC2, because, tbf, I wasn't performing at the standard I wanted to as either a mum or a professional. I simply didn't have the ability to do anything other than cope with both, and I'm the type who needs to do well...coping isn't good enough. So I gave up and did something part-time and not very challenging so we could pay the bills, much like the internet tat-sellers you mention. Hats off to those who DO manage to have a decent career whilst raising their kids, though.

What a nasty mean spirited thread.

If their businesses are doing well, people are buying the stuff. It sounds like a taste issue. Presumably the faux pearl jewellery is advertised as such and not priced like real pearls, so I don't see the harm.

I had a friend who used to laugh at the vases another one of her friends made, she said they looked like large boiled sweets. It turns out that I love vases that look like boiled sweets! I'm a faithful customer now.

I also know someone who makes chokers. She literally cuts a piece of thin lace from a roll, and attaches a fastening to it. Anyone could do it, but I suppose a lot of people would rather just order one ready made. She's paid for a holiday with her choker money...

ZibbidooZibbidooZibbidoo
For the 'but...' part I thought I might.
My view is pretty much SAHP if you want, work full time or part time if you want, but giving up a job so you can do MLM or selling tat on facebook seems to be exploting women's desire for spendies whilst staying at home.

I've seen some fab small businesses that are flexible for a SAHP and it brings in enough to cover a holiday and some treats. Just selling tat seems to be one of those things where women must spend huge amounts of money trying to create their 'product' and usually they aren't even that good at the craft they are trying to sell. It's a black hole for money.

Wow crystal! I never would have thought of doing something so simple as those chokers! Fair play to her.

maisy I assumed your first “but” was the thing you were expecting to get flamed for.

bitchy much?
YABU

I agree with you OP. It’s a shame so many smart and accomplished women don’t make the powerful contributions they could to society

Frannibananni
Sadly that's life.
If you choose to make your busibess venture selling 'personalised shopper bags' which are really you copying an image off thr internet using fabric pens that bleed all over the place or glasses dunked in glitter you can't be that surprised if people look and wonder how someone reasonably intelligent could seriously think that's a good idea.

Wow. What is it with women, using every opportunity to have a pop, slag each other off or just generally look down your nose at other women. Why can't we support and empower each other, is it really that difficult. It makes me so sad.

It takes a great deal of effort and a lot of bravery to start any business, so how about you focus on that if it bothers you that much. Forget the are selling tat, forget it is online, be proud of them that they've taken the brave step to set up on their own and do something different.

Honestly women behave utterly shamefully at times.

Demeaning? To turn an interest or crafty skills into a money-making venture? Even if it only ever earns enough to cover the materials they need to keep doing what they like to do, it hardly seems demeaning.

Maybe they're not trying to replace their previous careers with these ventures. Maybe they just enjoy it and/or are making enough to make it worth their while-- something they can easily fit in and around their lives, unlike a full-fledged "career".

Assuming there's no pestering to make a purchase, why would anyone care if friends sold things online? As long as someone goes into it knowing they're very unlikely to make a living from it, there's no harm in giving it a try.