They won't let dp come home

[catchingzedz]

Basically DP works for a very big well-known company, enjoys the job but they're very strict on time off. For the past 3 months our baby DS has been suffering unexplained seizures he's had 6 now. He spends a few days in hospital each time which DP is not aloud anytime off for. Sadly DS had 2 seizures within minutes of each other this morning and had to be rushed to hospital in an ambulance. Usually I'd be fine going with him alone but I suffered a miscarriage recently and feel generally awful. Also these were the worst and longest fits he's ever had, now he's very fussy and sicky and I'm very emotional so I called DP's office only for his manager to tell me, 'I'm very sorry about that. I'll let your DP know when I can. I don't see any reason for him to come and sit in the hospital though, it won't help the situation'
I'm livid. DS has gone to have some tests done that I can't sit in for and so I'm an emotional wreck as I write this.
Aibu to think that his (by the way childless) manager is a heartless bitch and that this a perfectly reasonable situation to leave work for??

Glad your DH is there.

Hope your DS is ok

A big, well-known company? Sounds like a Ponzi/pyramid style outfit to me.

Something similar happened to my dh OP. Really sorry, I understand how awful it is.

I'd be raising a formal grievance

Absolutely.

Glad to hear your little one is doing better.

The manager is an utter cunt.

That's the most aggressive email ever to send out to workers, just because one of them has a sick child and needs to go to the hospital. That really should be referred to an employment tribunal, it's like constructive dismissal.

The message sent round is appalling! Time to get the union involved, maybe?

Wow, that is some grade A bullying shit the manager has just pulled - trying to make everyone turn against your DH because of his sick baby??

Ohhhh I'm so angry for you both. He MUST go to HR with this now, he really must, that's atrocious behaviour on her part.

Thats outright bullying of all staff and blaming your husband for their workload.
Straight to HR with a complaint as soon as your baby is home and better.
Basically threatening staff with with-holding promotions if they dont do overtime on her say so? Sod that. Its not her decision to make. Think she has shot herself in the foot there, HR will not be impressed with the fall out.

Glad to hear your DP is there now and your DS is doing better.

She is an absolute bitch, hopefully she will never be treated the same way she seems to treat others in an emergency.

Glad your DH is there now OP and hope baby recovers quickly

That’s dreadful. I hope your little one is ok

OP so glad your dh is with you.

I hope they find a way to help your baby. I am sure they will. I have epilepsy which is now mainly under control - the medications really are very good now.

I can only imagine how frightening it is for those around me when I do have seizures though ( Im blissfully unaware!!) and it must have been doubly awful for you seeing it it happen to your baby.

The managers response was callous at best

Does she send similar emails/texts whenever anyone phones in sick? How does she respond to people phoning in sick generally?

@Rosielily I more or less asked the same question. Because the cause may be different but the outcome is the same.

I'm so glad he's with you

I hope the manager gets what they deserve. Awful behaviour.

I'm glad your DP is with you OP.
To all those posters who say there is already one parent there why do they need another, until you are in that situation you will never understand.
My DD is a hospital frequent flier and sometimes it's more serious than other times but it usually involves ambulances etc. Have you any idea how terrifying and draining it is to be sat at your child's bedside unsure what the next few hours will bring. Luckily my DP's work are understanding and he's left work quite a few times when she's been unwell and when I stay in hospital with DD he needs further time off work to care for our other child.
There is more important things in life than work and being with your family when they need you most is one of them
Hope your child is better soon OP

I really can't see how that anecdote is helpful Cath
you might as well say you don't allow employees to take sick leave because once some woman took the piss.

I am also a bit about you saying parents just have to get used to it when their child has a life limiting condition.
If only it were that simple it wouldn't be almost impossible for parents of chronically ill and disabled children to remain in employment.

You never get used to your child having a medical crisis and being dangerously ill. Just because it happens a lot doesn't mean it gets easier

That's what I was trying to say MrsDV

Some people that sadly do have to attend regularly, may never know if it's going to be the last time . So heartbreakingly difficult for these parents as it is ,without employers making it even worse.

If he takes parental leave he won't get paid. Can you accept that?

catchingzedz Mon 11-Jun-18 13:10:39
Thanks all DP is here now and DS is doing well, just napping. DP said that when he got back to the office (after friend had called) that his manager told him about the situation and said it's his choice if he leaves but implied that he would be frowned upon if he did. Obviously he left anyway.
There's now been a message sent out to all the people work at the branch saying the following 'sorry for any inconvenience but all staff will be required to work up to an hour late this evening due to an unforeseen absence. I know that this is a big ask as a lot of you will be wanting to get home to your families but it is the only way proceed. Rest assured that this will be looked upon kindly if you should want to progress in the company in future months. Thank you team, managers name'
Baring in mind that staff aren't aloud their phones and that an hours overtime is basically an everyday occurrence at this job and definitely not seen as a big deal I can't help but think this is directly aimed at DP to make him feel bad/worried about the reception he'll get back at work. He is going to be taking it further and we're trying to put it to the back of our minds until DS is better

That's disgraceful. Does he work for Sports Direct?

I'd be taking this to twitter & FB and trying to get it to go viral, and then taking it further up as far as possible with HR.

MrsDV, I have read my post again in case I phrased it badly, but no. I did not say parents should just get used to having a child with a life-limiting condition. I did say akthough not in these exact words, that parents who have children with life-limiting conditions need to decide a strategy on how to cope with frequent, non urgent hospital admissions.
It is not fair or reasonable to expect limitless paid time off at short notice to sit with your partner at every routine admission.
Nor is it fair on the colleagues who have to cover for the absence if this is a regular occurrence.
It has to be managed, otherwise there is potential for problems from the rest of the team long-term.
Anyway, the OP's case is obviously nothing like the case I had to deal with, but I thought my experience might shine a light on the other side.

Does he work for Sports Direct? I was wondering this too.

every routine admission.
you make it sound like these things are planned in advance, children with a life limiting condition don't usually have weeks to plan before they are admitted to hospital ( I am aware sometime they do) but as a general principal most are admitted at a crisis point, so a general rule saying oh you go twice and ill go twice is not what happens, life limiting conditions are chronic an largely unpredictable, one man not caring enough about his child and using it as an opportunity to skive is not the norm!

@cathf, I'd leave this thread now, you're coming across badly. You want every employee to be 100% top of the game? You don't want employees that are like life, ups and downs?

Routine appointments and ambulance into hospital are two totally different things.

Are you a Mike Ashley sympathiser?