They won't let dp come home

[catchingzedz]

Basically DP works for a very big well-known company, enjoys the job but they're very strict on time off. For the past 3 months our baby DS has been suffering unexplained seizures he's had 6 now. He spends a few days in hospital each time which DP is not aloud anytime off for. Sadly DS had 2 seizures within minutes of each other this morning and had to be rushed to hospital in an ambulance. Usually I'd be fine going with him alone but I suffered a miscarriage recently and feel generally awful. Also these were the worst and longest fits he's ever had, now he's very fussy and sicky and I'm very emotional so I called DP's office only for his manager to tell me, 'I'm very sorry about that. I'll let your DP know when I can. I don't see any reason for him to come and sit in the hospital though, it won't help the situation'
I'm livid. DS has gone to have some tests done that I can't sit in for and so I'm an emotional wreck as I write this.
Aibu to think that his (by the way childless) manager is a heartless bitch and that this a perfectly reasonable situation to leave work for??

So sorry OP, is there an HR department you can telephone now?

It depends if she can contact her husband directly.

I volunteer in a primary school and my phone is locked in a cupboard nowhere near when I am. My children are at secondary and know if they need me they need to ring the school office who can pull me out of a classroom.

OP if your Dh wants to be with you, demand to speak to him, tell the boss what she is doing is illegal, she doesn't have the right to declare you are fine by yourself.

If she still refuses, HR immediately.

What kind of person doesn't tell their employee or colleague that their child has been rushed to hospital in an ambulance? I'd be livid if I were your DH.
He is allowed special leave for this kind of thing. And he's allowed to complain about this to higher management and to look for other jobs.

You cant ring his HR, it is up to your DH to ring HR and get this sorted.

I used to have to go through DH boss to speak to him, so i guess it is feasible.
can you actually ask to speak to your dh personally op?

Erm, why exactly aren't you speaking to your husband directly OP? Why are you telling his manager like you need her permission.

How fucking weird

Whats weird is you presuming her husband is allowed his phone switched on at work, i'm pretty sure if Op could get hold of her husband direct she would!

This is ridiculous. Phone his work again and demand to speak to him. Tell the manager it's an emergency situation and then tell her to go fuck herself.

Er, I really wouldn't (last bit)

is there anyone else that can come and sit with you op?

There are quite a few work places where you aren't allowed phones.

I'd try HR department OP - see if they can get through to him by passing the unhelpful manager if possible.

Lots of jobs don't allow phones at work. Is that the case OP?

She’ll tell him when she can?

She should lose her job for this.

DH is not aloud to have his mobile on during working hours and won't have been in the office as job involves driving. I've called a friend who works close to the hospital and she's going to come and call the manager for me on her break at 11.30 as I'm not in the right state of mind to speak to her. DS is due back now so I need to try and give him all my time and energy and not think about this awful infuriating woman! Thanks for all the advice and support xx

Can you ask the Dr in charge of his care or Ward Sister to ring his work and ask to speak to him direct - they are usually pretty good at getting people to comply.

I don't see any reason for him to come and sit in the hospital though, it won't help the situation' is an uninformed and vile thing to say, how can that manager know how serious your baby DS' condition is?

You cant ring his HR, it is up to your DH to ring HR and get this sorted.

Long term I agree - but her DH doesn't currently know their DS is again in hospital and she needs support - it's not clear the manager will pass this along.

Well, if he has a driving job, and is allowed a phone, then she can't contact him immediately either, can she?

I’m a employer.

I sugest going over her head if possible like via head office under the guise of getting a message to him.

If this came to my attention I would trigger the process to dismiss her

He has had to take a lot of time off op?
is there any justification from her point of view?

Sorry, I should have said and if he isn't allowed a phone ...

This s disgusting, please name and shame the company. I for one would boycott them if at all possible.

This to me is workplace bullying, not telling a father his child has been taken to hospital after two seizures!

Sorry posted too soon, what company does this? What world do we live 8n that out work is so important we can't go to be with a very sick child?

then she can't contact him immediately either, can she?

No idea - some taxi and lorry driver have short waves systems or work phones- but it's not clear from the reponse if she could tell him the manager would.

If it was a matter fo not being able to - surley the reponse would have been I'm sorry I''ll let him know as soon as possible as can't get in touch straight away - not there's not point him being anywhere but work.

It isn't up to her to decide whether he would be helpful or not. How rude and patronising. I'd be so angry.

Leaving aside the legalities - methinks it’s time your husband looked for a new job.

His work could consist of skipping through fields of rainbows and unicorns, being showered with gold and mahoosive perks - but if it doesn’t allow him to be the husband and father he needs to be, it’s the wrong one. ‘Better a dinner of herbs’ etc etc.

Is he in security work?
My OH used to work for that Group 4 doing the cash collection.
DD was admitted to hospital and I had to call the office and they did exactly the same as your OH's manager did.

Bastards. NMW crappy job, terrible conditions (peeing in bottles because they weren't allowed to go to the toilet) and risking the danger of being shot for the takings.

I second getting the hospital to contact his work. And no need for specifics- ‘sorry I can only discuss that with a next of kin. He needs to contact us immediately’