They won't let dp come home

[catchingzedz]

Basically DP works for a very big well-known company, enjoys the job but they're very strict on time off. For the past 3 months our baby DS has been suffering unexplained seizures he's had 6 now. He spends a few days in hospital each time which DP is not aloud anytime off for. Sadly DS had 2 seizures within minutes of each other this morning and had to be rushed to hospital in an ambulance. Usually I'd be fine going with him alone but I suffered a miscarriage recently and feel generally awful. Also these were the worst and longest fits he's ever had, now he's very fussy and sicky and I'm very emotional so I called DP's office only for his manager to tell me, 'I'm very sorry about that. I'll let your DP know when I can. I don't see any reason for him to come and sit in the hospital though, it won't help the situation'
I'm livid. DS has gone to have some tests done that I can't sit in for and so I'm an emotional wreck as I write this.
Aibu to think that his (by the way childless) manager is a heartless bitch and that this a perfectly reasonable situation to leave work for??

I'd like to know what his job is. Unless he's a paramedic or something, what can be so important that he can't leave? Or switch his phone on in his break?

Maybe when an OP has a sick baby and is distressed we could leave off giving her a dressing down until another day?

RomeoBunny what a heartless cow you are.

Sorry to hear you are going through such a stressful time.

This might be an awful idea, but could you name and shame the company on their twitter account? Say something like ‘anyone working with xx from x area, please tell him to phone me ASAP (genuine emergency). The manager refused to pass on the message.’

This seems totally unreasonable. Can you go above the manager? And tell them that the hospital would like you both there to discuss your son? Really hope you and your son are OK

Shatners wig. If you don't have a child you won't understand to the same extent. That simple. So in your word. Oi. Stop that.

My dad works as a train driver and he can't have his phone on but if he there is a family emergency we can call the office and they will radio him to let him know and then if needed organise someone to take over his train.

It's disgusting that she won't pass the message along, I'd try and go around her or have an authority figure call her.

I would also call and ask for HR rather than the manager. I hope you’re OK OP.

@Potato2242

Shatners wig. If you don't have a child you won't understand to the same extent. That simple. So in your word. Oi. Stop that.

Have to strongly disagree with you there. Big generalisation.

My dad was a teacher Andy school phoned to say I needed to go to a dr, if fainted and didn’t come round that quickly. Office staff waited until the next time he passed the office to pass on the message. Which was the end of the day. There’s plenty jobsworths out there and they can do a lot of damage.
I second messaging anyone near where he works or who works with him who might be off saying that it’s an emergency and he needs to get to the hospital. Because that’s the truth and you shouldn’t be battling the boss.
I would go into an office/shop/bank/business for a stranger if I could help.

@Potato2242 It was an unnecessary dig with no other purpose than to imply people without children can't possibly understand and that if this manager had children the outcome might well have been different. The manager is behaving appallingly; the rest is totally irrelevant and unfair.

I seem to have a different understanding of "emergency" to other people on the thread. It's not an "emergency" for me if someone is else is ill, it's only an "emergency" if I'm needed to help take care of them.

This is a disgusting attitude for your DH work to take, people deserve to know whats going on and judge their situations themselves, employees are not children and employers need to show compassion towards their employees, people are allow a life outside the gates of the workplace.

He should prepare to find a new job/take them for constructive dismissal, as he needs to raise a grievance against this woman, if people don't complain in these situations these heartless employers will never get the message

I hope your ds is ok as well OP.

Firesuit the emergency with an infant having fits and is in a potential life threatening situation where the OP is not sure what the outcome is, no one except the doctors and nurses are "looking" after him but this child is very very ill I would suspect any parent would wish to oversee their childs condition, things can change in a matter of minutes with a baby, he didn't just cut his knee!

Is the manager CalF?

Maybe so, ShatnersWig but the OP is obviously very distressed and upset. Not the time to be lecturing her. Give it a rest, eh?

Op you're getting a hard time quite unfairly. In my opinion, the person you spoke to is acting as gatekeeper when they don't need to. It is for you and your Dh to ascertain whether he needs to come. I would expect the message to be passed on and for Dh to contact as soon as he were able and say whether he can or cannot get there.

Whether it is right or wrong, there are many families where both parents attend hospital. Sometimes this is to save passing on vital information without it getting diluted, sometimes this is to support each other when the situation is unclear - as in the op's case.

While I don't expect aunt Edna, cousin Shirley and the neighbour to pitch up, it is perfectly reasonable for both the parents of a child to attend an emergency admission. For all the manager knows, op is contacting him to say she is taking the child to hospital and he needs to be able to leave at x time to collect a sibling.

Op, I third/4th/5th asking the hospital to contact your Dh. They are much more effective at pushing their way past nosey buggers with 'can only discuss with NOK' and I doubt any manager would want Dh coming in and raising a complaint that he was denied information about his family.

Firesuit, if you don't think that a baby having seizures and being rushed to hospital in an ambulance is an emergency; then yes, you have a very different understanding of the word.

JamieVardysHavingAParty Mon 11-Jun-18 12:11:03
Is the manager CalF?

???

They could easy phone ahead to where his drop off is and let them know if he can't be contacted whilst in the truck.
Although most driving jobs you are allowed to have your phone so you can call the office in case of a breakdown etc

Sorry that was supposed to be might be worth looking into as maybe it's manager saying no phones and hr would be find with it.

I don't see any reason for him to come and sit in the hospital though, it won't help the situation'

What a twattish thing to say. Definitely call HR and tell them you need to get an emergency message to him. Does the company have a policy on contact, seeing as phones aren't allowed? Might be worth asking them for sight of that while you're on.

I hope he got away. And he should definitely raise the issue with HR.

I don't have children but I am definitely capable of showing empathy to someone who has. If this was a colleague I would immediately offer to cover for them so they could go in case management thought there was an issue.

I hope DS is OK and you get hold of DH soon catching