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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

Kids using my bedroom to take selfies

172 replies

MrsDylanBlue · 10/06/2018 22:11

Not long been “allowed” to follow DD on Instagram.

Have previously had words with the kids using my bedroom (or really messy/needing decorating) parts of the house to take selfies to post online (my room has mirrored wardrobes floor to ceiling).

Mortified to see she has posted photo of herself - in my bedroom - and behind her in the mirror is a pile of clothes/underwear I haven’t put away and Durex Lube on the bedside table. Her father (we are divorced and have NC) and his wife have liked it.

Joking aside I find this REALLY bloody intrusive having the inside of my BEDROOM plastered all over the bloody internet. AngryHmmShock

OP posts:
MrsDilber · 11/06/2018 07:39

Ahhh feel for you op. Yes tell them it's a no go area.

Pengggwn · 11/06/2018 07:47

WeirdAndPissedOff

Handy or not, it's more discreet to leave sexual items out of sight. I'm not especially prudish, but I have been into many of my friends' bedrooms, relatives' bedrooms etc and have never seen a bottle of lube left out in plain sight. It isn't unusual at all to think stuff like that goes in a drawer because, pretty typically, it does.

adaline · 11/06/2018 07:53

But you knew your kids went in your bedroom - so why not one of the two really obvious solutions?

Buy a lock and lock your door when you're out of your room, or hide your personal effects away. I live with my partner and we have no children but I still don't leave tampons, lube or condoms laying around the place. They go back into drawers or cupboards after use.

TheStoic · 11/06/2018 07:55

You’re right. You do NOT want other adults knowing you have sex or periods.

UndomesticHousewife · 11/06/2018 07:56

Bit strange most people on here don't allow their kids in their bedroom.
My dc can go where they like in their house, if they want to come into my room they can they don't rummage through my drawers.
My eldest dc is 18 I have no issue with her going in my room. I put my sex stuff away.

However you should buy her a better mirror for her own room then she'll have no need to go into your room if you don't want her in there.

Pengggwn · 11/06/2018 07:56

TheStoic

You think in extremes. If the OP is so unbothered, why is she bothered about her ex and his girlfriend laughing at her lube? Doesn't really make sense, does it?

kaytee87 · 11/06/2018 07:58

Either put a lock on your door or tidy your room.

TheStoic · 11/06/2018 07:58

You think in extremes. If the OP is so unbothered, why is she bothered about her ex and his girlfriend laughing at her lube? Doesn't really make sense, does it?

You don’t see the difference between leaving lubricant on your bedside table, to having it on the internet? If not, you’re not too bright.

Pengggwn · 11/06/2018 07:59

TheStoic

If there is no validity in the argument that lube should go in a drawer, because we obviously don't mind other adults knowing we have sex, why should it embarrass anyone for another adult to see it?

Needtobehumanagain · 11/06/2018 08:01

Meh. My kids are still small so they are allowed in my room. I dont have a reason for them not to be. Not much in there but a bed and a wardrobe amd some drawers! However they are not allowed in their with friends. Dont want other snotty noses on my bed! Or playing with my jewellery box!

However if you have said no they need to respect that! Lock the door and tell them to get a part time job and buy their own mirror!

TheStoic · 11/06/2018 08:01

You didn’t answer my question. Is there a difference, or not?

Original poster
MrsDylanBlue · 11/06/2018 08:02

I don’t particularly want my ex husband or his wife having any insight into my life at all, esp not the inside of mine and my current husband’s bedroom - no I don’t think that’s unusual.

God forbid we leave any evidence in our bedrooms or sex or periods.

OP posts:
adaline · 11/06/2018 08:02

You don’t see the difference between leaving lubricant on your bedside table, to having it on the internet? If not, you’re not too bright.

I think OP is the one who's not being particularly bright here. She knows her daughter comes into her bedroom and takes selfies. Teenagers put selfies on the internet. So she has two solutions - lock the door (as her daughter won't listen to polite requests to stay out), or accept she'll go in to use the mirror, so take the sensible precaution of hiding anything you don't want published online in a drawer!

Pengggwn · 11/06/2018 08:02

TheStoic

Between someone seeing lube in your house and someone seeing it on the internet? No, can't see one. Guess I'm thick after all.

Original poster
MrsDylanBlue · 11/06/2018 08:03

The all have jobs and all have since they were 14 (paper rounds) so not sure what on Earth that has to do with anything.

They have mirrors for the 50th time, mine are ceiling to floor triple doors.

OP posts:
Pengggwn · 11/06/2018 08:04

But OP, you specifically take issue with them seeing your line. Obviously, for you, lube is private. Great. Put it in a drawer because your bedroom clearly isn't.

Pengggwn · 11/06/2018 08:05

*lube

adaline · 11/06/2018 08:05

God forbid we leave any evidence in our bedrooms or sex or periods.

But you KNOW she uses your bedroom to take selfies which go on the internet! If it bothers you so much, put your stuff away or lock the door!

You're making a huge drama about something that had such a simple solution.

clockworklime · 11/06/2018 08:08

Are you always so passive, OP?

QueenOfIce · 11/06/2018 08:13

You shouldn't have to put your things away, if you've asked your dc to stay out then you expect to be respected enough that they don't go in there. A lock on your door given they have no regard for you or your feelings.

Whereismumhiding2 · 11/06/2018 08:38

TBF this phot was taken a few months ago and DD has moved out since then

Bit of a drip feed OP.
DD has moved out and no longer lives in your house. You've just seen the photo taken months ago on her IG and are upset. Was quite relevant information.

Negotiate with your adult daughter to delete or crop that photo.

fourplusfour · 11/06/2018 08:55

Absolutely feel sympathy for you OP. I often find my DCs in my room taking pictures - better mirror, better lighting, tidier (sometimes Wink). I think its really disrespectful but they don't get it.

crispysausagerolls · 11/06/2018 14:37

Do people really leave their sex items out on display? I wouldn’t leave my condoms lying around in case one day a visitor happened to come into my bedroom. But also/mainly because I just don’t think they look very nice and it’s tidier (and very easy) to just put them in a draw. Unless OP you are having sex so often that it’s too much hassle to do so, in which case good job 😂🙈

celticprincess · 11/06/2018 17:30

Finding this thread amusing. Glad everyone on MN is so tidy and have immaculate houses and/or bedrooms. My room is a tip. I’m useless at keeping clutter away and stuff that’s used a lot is often out, bed not made, piles of clothes, toiletries and make up on the side, medications on the side etc. I’ve young children. They come on my room (youngest gets into bed with me to watch tv in a morning if she’s up early) and they get their hair dried etcnin my room. They don’t touch things generally and aren’t old enough for taking photos etc. My mum is paranoid about them going in her room in case they think her pills are sweets. They’re 5 and 8 and watch her take the pills when they stay over so know what they are. They’ve never tried to eat non-food items.
Maybe I’ll get more organised in the next few year in preparation for un anted selfies being taken, or maybe we will have conversations about appropriate photos to post online!! I often take photos in rooms that are untidy but crop out the mess!! 😂😂😂 Well have done ever since my market complained about being ashamed of my untidy house being plastered online!! Lol.

blackteasplease · 11/06/2018 17:47

Get a lock for your bedroom door that you can lock with a key!

To be fair, I've used my dds room for selfies before as it's the tidiest room (she's 9!) but only to send to friends, not to post on the internet.

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