I have gone very very wrong somewhere with DD.

[TokenBritPoshOfCourse]

I am mortified. Dd is 14. Last year I got her and ds1 (15) an iPhone SE each, which happened to be the same phone I had.

She broke hers within a month. I paid for it to be repaired and she broke it again (dropped it both times).

DH upgraded his android phone so she was given his old handset (Samsung galaxy). She has done nothing but moan about it really, the camera is ‘shit’, she can’t download stuff she wants, it’s not an iPhone. We have pulled her up on this every time btw.

I have upgraded my phone and the new one (iPhone 8) arrived this morning. DD was hovering wanting to know what the parcel was and I said, ooh, you’ll be happy because this means you’ll have an iPhone again. She rapidly cycled through thinking I meant the new phone was for her, to realising I meant she could have my old one, to hysterical tears and then utter rage at me.

She has stamped her way around the house yelling that I need to apologise to her because I led her to believe she was getting a new iPhone, that it’s not fair I get a brand new phone and she gets my cast offs, that I’m out of order for getting myself a new phone when mine still works and that she deserves a new one before me.

I just don’t know where to go from here. Obviously she isn’t now getting my ‘old’ phone. I am disgusted by her attitude but I don’t know how to fix this. DH wants to take her phone away entirely, and her laptop, camera, tv etc. She is totally spoilt and entitled and I don’t really know what to do. For context ds1 and ds2 (6) have all the same mod cons but a totally different attitude.

Any suggestions on how to deal with this? She’s been sent to her room but is still raging that I need to apologise to her for ‘leading her on’ thinking she was getting a new iPhone 8.

I don't agree with shitholidays view on today's teens, that's for sure.

Also, in terms of working for the money, depends on where you live - no 14 year old would find a part-time job in London doing fruit-picking, leaflet passing, babysitting. I do know 14 year old who do earn money, but it is buy buying and selling high end clothing. They make a killing buy buying Supreme when it drops and reselling on eBay.

Oh dear, I can see there are lots of chips about today. My comments were in context: Q: i don’t want to affect my kids’ grades by making them work - A : the two can happily coexist. The wealth is relevant because I bloody earned it, through graft, and want my kids to do the same. They’ll get natural advantages, but they will earn their own iPhonEs.

I have to deal with your entitled teenagrs when they are entitled 20somethings. People do their kids no favours by making them so unprepared for the world of work.

Yes! My teens have made pin money reselling clothes on depop.

I babysat at 14 and could change nappies, calm a baby etc. My sister was two years older, crap with kids and used to invite her boyfriends over without telling the parents. I know which one I’d rather use hypothetically now.

That just proves that not all 16 year old are responsible. Generally people are more responsible as they grow older though. And, as I'm sure you know, an under 16 cannot be legally responsible so if you use them to babysit and anything goes wrong you might be prosecuted. Ths NSPCC advises children under 16 should not be left in charge of young children.
Regardless whether or not you choose to employ 14 year olds most people don't nowadays.

People do their kids no favours by making them so unprepared for the world of work and that's why many get part time jobs at 17 or 18 as many of us have said.

I have to deal with your entitled teenagrs when they are entitled 20somethings. People do their kids no favours by making them so unprepared for the world of work.

Yes, but they don't have to start at 14. They can start at 16 or even as students and still have work experience by the time they have done their degrees.

@CosyLulu ah I see now,and how teenagers aren't like they used to be? 😕

I am commenting directly on the Ops quandary about dealing with her daughtr - knock the entitlement on the head, howsoever you choose to do it. Don’t make her learn a very embarrassing lesson in the first weeks and months of her first ‘proper’ job, as so many do these days. Doesn’t necessarily involve workingoutside the home from 9, but entitlement is genuinely endemic in millenialsnso we are obviously doing something very very wrong as a society.

I'm planning on encouraging mine to do webcam work. Hey, be creative and all! Hey expat its bang up to date - the fruit picking of 2018!

Umm, shitholiday you may or may not have a teenager but my experience is that they behave perfectly well when not at home. You’re not suggesting OP’s dd is going to run off crying if her boss gets a new phone delivered are you?

Stop being such a harbinger of doom. Teen years pass, most people survive, no nipping in the bud required!

Doesn’t necessarily involve workingoutside the home from 9, but entitlement is genuinely endemic in millenialsnso we are obviously doing something very very wrong as a society.

Your comments about "society nowadays" are similar to the kind of thing my grandmother would have said in the 80s. Nothing changes apart from the fact that some older out of touch adults will always criticise the "youth of today"

BillywilliamV Spot on.

Threads like these always attract the same responses on MN.
1. People who currently have teens and understand exactly what most of us are going through
2. People who currently have teens who buck the trend, and the posters seem to think this is due to their superior parenting rather than the inherent personality of the teen;
3. People who used to have teens (ie before social media and technology), who think that they would have been very firm with their teens, but of course, this was never put to the test.
4. People who have younger children who think they can predict how their children will be as teens, and therefore can say now that they would not allow such nonsense;
5. People who have not got children at all but feel they can contribute because they used to be a teen (see type 3)
6. People whose own teenage years were financially difficult and they resent others who apparently have it easier
I would never dream of contributing on a baby care thread because I acknowledge that I am 18 years out of date and things are different now

@,dungdraging@ perhaps the older people whether it's the 80s or now have something you lack called wisdom and life experience. They sure built enough of a society that you can now Stand on the shoulders of their accomplishments criticizing. What have you accomplished besides enabling a socially Mal adjusted entitled whining cell phone dependent children.?

Only thing that worked with my DD was to take away all of her electronics. Phone, laptop and iPad. She had a very bad attitude. I took it away every time she was disrespectful. Although she had not broken her phone so I spent no money on repairs, she begun to say I had no right to take them away because they were hers. I then told her that her phone contract would not be paid unless she got a job (I understand she was young so I suggested a paper round.) she avoided this initially but later realised having her own money was nice (I never actually made her pay.) I think that this was the turning point for her and now she is very happy to work (now 17) part time because she understands the value of money

Cozy Lulu/dungeon - do you regularly employ millenials? I’m telling yu my experience. I have friends in marketing, accounting, journalism, retail, all saying the same thing. Kids are coming in expecting to do sexy high level work now - not aware that they have to start at the bottom. They want flexible hours now - rather than spending their first few weeks and months showing how committed they are to the job and proving their worth. They have no concept of professional hierarchy and the respect that should be paid to those who are preeminent in the field and speak to them like they would their mates - cheeky, piss taking etc. It’s embarrassing.

Its not about ‘ in my day’ - it’s very much in today’s day. There may well be workplaces where you can enter on a less formal basis, but anything vaguely professional and you need to knock the entitlement out of them before someone else does it, cruelly, and often in public. You love them and can do it more kindly.

But a parent is not an employer.
Most teens are completely different out of the home

And please stop calling them millennials, it's quite insulting. Presumably your business needs these lowly members of staff? There's no need to be quite so disdainful.

Yes Tenko
Spot on.

What would you like me to call them Gretol? It’s a commonly used term and a very common view.

So what it boils down to Tenko is that the opinion of everyone that doesn't agree with you is somehow flawed. Convenient.

@Harshmarshmellow, oh, Shaddap with that!! Violence, be still. Spare the rod now And your child suffers later. You claim correcting my child is abuse or violence. When they are older , raised your way, and a police officer bushes them in the head with a Billy club you would call it "law enforcement" and you would applaud. My kids are fine good luck with yours

Tenko yep. I’m in no. 1 category but have been in some of the othets before dd turned 14!

I also hate ‘millenials’ and other words used here - so disrespectful: brat, entitled etc. I don’t equate any of these insults with me child and I would haye anybody to assume the right to use them.

Horrible.

I think any parent currently watching their hard working teens go through the mill with gcses or A levels may not recognise shitholidays description of entitled brats! Although it seems a fashionably lazy way to describe young adults these days.

So don’t churn out entitled kids into the workplace then. If there is a trend, it will get a name.

@bashun I can't imagine for a second your way of parenting is going to be at all popular here. Most parents, in the UK at least, don't tend to hit their children. It's illegal for a start, apart from being nasty and ineffective.