Active discussions

Meet the Other Phone. Flexible and made to last.

Meet the Other Phone.
Flexible and made to last.

Buy now

Please or to access all these features

Talk
AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

Friend spends the weekend with me then ‘reviews’ her experience, wtf!?

999 replies

Biscusting · 09/06/2018 21:25

Friend has been good friend during our uni days. We’ve loosely kept in touch over the years, but different career choices, interests, distance and children have pushed us in different directions.

She messages me out out of the blue to ask about staying a weekend with us. We live in an area popular with tourists.

I’m feeling a bit put out, as don’t fancy hosting, but we had no concrete plans and thought it would be a nice catch up.

Anyway she stays we have dinner out one night. She’s spends a day visiting a popular attraction and we have a nice evening in with a selection of nibbles, pizza, cheese and wine etc. Uneventful, pleasant weekend I feel.

Now i’ve just been browsing FB and looked on her page to see if she’d posted any pictures. To find she’d written quite a lengthy post about her stay. I don’t want to copy and paste, but basically it’s along the lines of, ‘had an okay weekend with Biscusting, staying at her place. Found the breakfast underwhelming and conversation with her DH a bit dry.
The sleigh bed in the guest room was too high and I bumped on the wooden edge so often I have a bruise. The room was too small.’.....the WiFi speed was poor at best’

She goes on to critique the decor and waffles on a lot about the tourist attraction she visited. Then ends the post with ‘all in all i’d give her two stars’

Wtaf is this!? Has she mistaken FB for trip advisor and my home for a hotel!?

We don’t have many shared friends, but people have liked her bloody post. 13 people!

Now the thing is she talked about coming back at the end of July for an exhibition and we made relatively firm plans about her return.

AIBU to tell her to jog on?

OP posts:
lostinsunshine · 11/06/2018 11:35

Her therapist advised her to be self obsessed self important bore in public to deal with her mh problems. Is that what passes for therapy?
I've got my own shit . And sadness. And other crap. I wouldn't bore everyone else with it. I might have a chat with a friend one to one. Certainly not insult people behind their backs after they have been kind to me.

whatwouldkeithRichardsdo2 · 11/06/2018 11:36

Unbelievably rude. Just delete and block her. Watch her scramble.

There is a line when trying to be funny. She isn't.

whatwouldkeithRichardsdo2 · 11/06/2018 11:36

Unbelievably rude. Just delete and block her. Watch her scramble.

There is a line when trying to be funny. She isn't.

HectorlovesKiki · 11/06/2018 11:38

She doesn't sound like a friend to me, just a piss taker.
Suggest you tell her to take a 5*.

Mountainsoutofmolehills · 11/06/2018 11:41

This is brilliant. You have to print out all 900 plus replies, invite her over and share with her and her husband and maybe a few others........ you could make it into a game... and then video if for us to watch....

WhatchaMaCalllit · 11/06/2018 11:42

@Biscusting - If you do feel like replying to the latest update that CF sent you, I believe that @Storminateapot has constructed a perfect reply.

clockworklime · 11/06/2018 11:47

My reply to that last text would consist of 2 words, and they ain’t “Ok Hun”.

Followed by a block and a glass of wine to celebrate one less cunt in my life 🍷

CoraPirbright · 11/06/2018 11:54

Yes, I like Storm’s reply too. It is measured, balanced and in no way nasty but it does lay things out plainly and calls her to account (which she clearly wont like but, hey, when you behave like a cow, them’s the breaks).

RoseWhiteTips · 11/06/2018 11:58

Fgs block her. Do not be a doormat.

StormTreader · 11/06/2018 11:58

As someone who suffers badly from A&D, NOTHING about her post says depression to me.
It was a total indulgent sneery laugh at your expense where she thought you wouldn't see it, and shes been caught out. It's just a shame you didn't have time to post a reply to it where your mutual friends would see - they probably think this is some shared joke between you and would be horrified to know they'd inadvertently seemed to support this personal attack on your home and family.

RoseWhiteTips · 11/06/2018 11:59

Can’t be bothered reading the ins and outs.

Aeroflotgirl · 11/06/2018 12:02

No exactly, so she posts a publicly humiliating review of your hospitality on Facebook, for all to see, laugh and sneer at, and expects you to be ok with it Shock. If she had not said anything, all would be ok, she has to take responsibility for her actions, and not use MH issues as a get out clause. Op you dodged a bullet there, nasty individual.

bettytaghetti · 11/06/2018 12:03

Others have suggested making sure you go away for the weekend she was planning to come in July; if you do, fgs don't let her know, or she'll think she can stay in your bed instead!
So sorry OP the you've had to find out she's such a shit friend this way.

Goodasgoldilox · 11/06/2018 12:04

It is strange that she feels it is her right (because of mental health issues) to be rude and even cruel about you in public.

Having her feelings about her stay - and even writing about them sounds fine (though it is odd that she would want to come again) but humiliating you in public (and to your mutual friends) is not a mental health matter. It is simply mean - envious - behaviour.

I can't see you gaining much from continuing her friendship. If her her eyes all this is you behaving badly, it is unlikely that you are going to be able to please her!

emmyrose2000 · 11/06/2018 12:07

You have been way too nice to her. Either go nuclear on her this time or ignore her completely. Ether way, it's time to block her totally. There is zero excuse for her calculated behaviour.

Sad to say, but if you didn't live in the area she's interested in visiting, I doubt you'd have heard from her at all before the original visit. She's a user, and a nasty person, plain and simple.

This is not MH and I am sick to the back teeth of people using MH as an excuse to be a cunt. This is bullshittery of epic proportions by an entitled cow who is used to getting her way regardless of her behaviour
Agreed. I know people with bipolar and/or depression. None have ever behaved this way. If anything, the people I know with depression seem to go out of their way to be kind to people.

sonjadog · 11/06/2018 12:08

She might have problems with anxiety and depression, but they have nothing to do with posting a review which gives someone a star rating on fb. If it were a generally negative comment, then maybe it could be depression related. But rating with stars? Nope.

allthgoodusernamesaretaken · 11/06/2018 12:11

Stay strong OP. I think your message was very dignified

0range99 · 11/06/2018 12:12

"This is not MH and I am sick to the back teeth of people using MH as an excuse to be a cunt. This is bullshittery of epic proportions by an entitled cow who is used to getting her way regardless of her behaviour"

I would add "on the spectrum" to this as well ^^

TeatimeForTheSoul · 11/06/2018 12:13

Buscusting got to say I’m in awe of the measured and polite way you have responded to all this.
If this is related to a MH issue you have also done exactly the right thing. She needs help to have insight into unhelpful and inappropriate behaviour which may be exacerbating her issues. This is a perfect example for her to take to her therapist.
Others have already eloquently commented how the post was not an appropriate use of the term ‘therapeutic journal’.

BakedBeans47 · 11/06/2018 12:19

She’s fucking at it OP, stop trying to look for excuses for her behaviour. You’re too nice. She may or may not have MH issues but regardless of that she’s a rude, entitled, nasty CF who only cares that she might have done herself out of freeloading off you in July.

Mookatron · 11/06/2018 12:19

I have, unfortunately, a long and boring experience of mental health issues in various guises. Like others have said, it doesn't excuse or explain somebody being a twat and a chancer.

So sorry you've had to deal with this. I think you know it has nothing to do with you and everything to do with her, but make sure you don't forget it. I wouldn't even bother with a reply as she is not going to read it unless it suits her agenda anyway, clearly.

ThreeIsACharm · 11/06/2018 12:19

I would send;
You disrespected my husband, myself and our home. This is where this friendship ends

The block. Mh issues is no excuse to be cruel.

Lndnmummy · 11/06/2018 12:21

I have suffered and been on medication and in therapy for anxiety and depression for 20 odd years. Never in a million years would I blame my disorder for being a dick. A close friend and my former boss is bipolar -ditto.
Another of my friends has Aspergers. Non of them are rude and entitled idiots.

Lottapianos · 11/06/2018 12:22

Well in terms of self-absorption and cheeky bugger behaviour, she certainly is the gift that keeps on giving! I'm another sufferer of depression and anxiety and I find her behaviour absolutely outrageous. It's possible that she knows this too, and is lashing out, and directing her feelings of anger and shame towards you. Either way, you have behaved impeccably and her problems, MH or otherwise, are absolutely none of your concern.

Let us know if you decide to block her, or to give her both barrels. And then block her.

Freyanna · 11/06/2018 12:22

I can't imagine why she would still think it appropriate for her to 'book in' to your home after her post and subsequent messages.