First of all, apologies if this doesn't end up in paragraphs, it should have them, but the app always messes them up for me!
DS is 4 and severely Autistic. He's non verbal, doesn't understand language and can be extremely difficult to manage when out and about. We're currently hiring a SEN pram which is costing us a fortune whilst we wait for special twin one to be made (DS2 is almost 2 and also on the pathway)
Anyway. We see PIL maybe 3 times a month by their request. Tbh, the visits are always a bit stressful as FIL seems very unaware and unsympathetic towards his grandson. FWIW his youngest daughter is only 5 and StepMIL is a childminder, so it's not as if he's not used to being around small children or anything.
FIL seems obsessed with money and seems to 'jokingly' go on about what benefits we get. Even though myself and my Husband don't even claim half the stuff we're entitled to because we get by okay.
Now that our son is 4, we decided to apply for Hight Rate Mobility DLA. We spent months doing the form, which is a gruelling process, gathering all types of reports from different people and even sent in a mandatory reconsideration after he was rejected.
This week, the DLA have awarded DS high rate care and high rate mobility until 2031. I honestly sobbed for four hours with relief. This is absolutely life changing for us, we'll be able to order a car that's safe and big enough for the equipment we need to bring with us, as well as cutting down on the costs of taxis and trains (currently can't afford to run a car at all) DS has several appointments a month, all 10 miles away from home. It's currently a 3 hour round trip on the bus, whereas it's 20 minutes in the car. My Mum and Dad help out where they can, often with lifts and emotional support as they can't physically look either DS.
Anyway. DH phoned FIL to tell him the good news, my parents were over the moon for us and understand how hard we worked to get DS what he deserved. FIL's first and only comment was, 'Well my taxes better not be paying for it.'
Is this how people really feel? Is this what everyone will think of us? Will people really feel resentment at a disabled child being entitled to a mobility car to ensure his safety and quality of life?
I feel so hurt. I half want to give him the DLA form and tell him he's lucky his daughter doesn't meet any of the criteria. This was a celebration for us, even if tainted with a bit of sadness that our 4 year old is now officially severely mentally impaired (that's the name of the criteria he falls under for DLA)
We're supposed to be visiting tomorrow, I don't really want to go, but feel like I need to say something? WWYD? Is there any advice? Or is this something we should just get used to?