Active discussions

Meet the Other Phone. Child-safe in minutes.

Meet the Other Phone.
Child-safe in minutes.

Buy now

Please or to access all these features

Talk
AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

To ask if you’ve ever complained about a teacher

398 replies

Justwondering14 · 08/06/2018 18:25

It seems the view is that this shouldn’t ever be done.

I have complained a few times. Once about a male member of staff telling my fifteen year old she looked like she was enjoying that in a suggestive way when she had a lollipop.

Is it always ‘wrong’, then? I’m not a teacher ...

OP posts:
MaisyPops · 09/06/2018 09:52

I'm with you betrand. The TA in that situation was in the wrong. They were wrong for trying to deflect later. They sound like they were wrong in their attitude ti the whole thing
That is separate to them opting to be accompanied by someone from the union.

My view of having a union rep present is that they are a neutral party who knows how things work and knows procedure. They are there to ensure things are followed properly abd due process is followed. Opting to consult one or have one present is not about defending yourself or choosing to not take responsibility (though I have no doubt some people may do those things and have a rep).

Oh no french. They had a 'banter teacher'. I can't stand them as colleagues. They are also the ones who tend not to follow behaviour policies, rely on being funny to get students to behave and it's all a bit cult of personality to me. They're the ones who students turn up to our lessons saying 'But Mr Blogs never makes us...' Banter teachers seem to be of the view that quiet hard working students who want to learn need to 'lighten up' . Spot on to complain. You'll have done everyone a massive favour.

TheNebulousBoojam · 09/06/2018 09:53

No one is denying that parents should have the right to complain about anything and everything that upsets them, from minor to major. But complaints are a serious matter, and need to be dealt with professionally, written records kept and promised actions followed up and maintained. So teachers have the right to protect themselves against inaccuracy, lies or misunderstandings, as well as being held to account for professional failures. Otherwise the system disintegrates into bullying, chaos and baseball bats.

Staxers · 09/06/2018 09:53

This reply has been deleted

Message deleted by MNHQ. Here's a link to our Talk Guidelines.

Pengggwn · 09/06/2018 09:54

Dorsetdays

We don't need to debate informal/formal. A meeting at which my employer can require my attendance is a meeting, not a chat.
There is no debate to be had about that.

you are required to attend, you don’t have any right to bring a TU rep (or anyone else)

The school did allow it, though. That might mean they did more than they are obligated to have done, but that isn't the teacher's fault. 'Need for it' or no, she wanted someone there with her. Why blame her for that?

SoddingUnicorns · 09/06/2018 09:54

@Pengggwn we are never going to agree. “March them off to Strangeways”? If you have the police coming out to take a statement from you, as a witness, why on earth would you need a solicitor? Because that’s on a par with this.

Anyway, she’s gone now. Had she taken a halfway decent approach to any of it, none of this would have happened. But she didn’t.

SoddingUnicorns · 09/06/2018 09:55

I don't see the problem with either, do you?

No, I don’t. I think they seem very odd things to complain about. Which is why I’m glad it wasn’t followed through.

JustCallMeJones · 09/06/2018 09:55

The thought of complaining about a teacher, ranks nearly as high as complaining about a police officer. I hold them in such high regard.

Do you think this stems from being educated in the 70’s/80’s?

There are a few issues of late regarding one of Ds teachers. I won’t go into detail but there are things which I feel aren’t quite right. I’m of the view that there are two sides to every story and dc can exaggerate but some things just don’t sit right. The thought of having a chat with this teacher literally fills me with dread, sweaty palm dread. Don’t ask me why I feel this way about raising a few concerns. I can only explain it as feeling as if I was back at school myself and the fear some teachers instilled (back in the days when you got clouted round the head, books and board rubbers thrown and no challenging parents went into schools).

I applaud those of you who have stood up for your dc (when it was absolutely needed) but there are parents who go in and complain about everything and I would hate to be ‘that’ parent. It’s my dc who has to be in school for 6 hours a day and I always worry that it would make the issue even worse.

Anyone feel this way?

Pengggwn · 09/06/2018 09:55

Dorsetdays

Completely irrelevant to this discussion, though, isn't it? If she had no legal right to bring her Rep,
the school could have refused her permission, assuming you are correct. But they didn't. So what exactly do you think the teacher has done wrong?

LunaTrap · 09/06/2018 09:56

Yes I've complained. My son has SN and was punished for it- one example given detention for his verbal tics meaning he made a noise during quiet reading. (He was 6 years old at this point). I also went to parents evening and was given a bunch of empty workbooks to look through. I enquired where his work was and was dismissively told that he usually just sat in the classroom with his head down covering his ears. This was after a whole term with this teacher and despite me being an engaged parent who did my best to support the school and was at every single drop off and pick up this had never been mentioned to me. There was so much other stuff too. I now home educate him.

BoneyBackJefferson · 09/06/2018 09:56

I don't know any teachers that haven't had some sort of complaint put in about them.

SoddingUnicorns · 09/06/2018 09:57

I think the reason I was so pissed off is her high handed attitude deflected from the real issue. It made it all about her, when in reality the issue was that a serious incident had occurred. That couldn’t be changed, but moving forward and ensuring it was never repeated was the aim.

Her deflection and selfishness delayed that considerably. She may well have been “entitled” but it wasn’t and shouldn’t have been about her. It should have been about the children who needed strategies in place to ensure their safety in future.

IllBeAtTheBarIfYouNeedMe · 09/06/2018 09:57

I’ve complained quite a few times. I appear to be unlucky with my experiences of teachers.

First one was when I collected my asthmatic ds (then aged 5) from school and it was immediately obvious that he was hypoxic from an ongoing asthma attack. His medication was in the classroom where he had been curled up silently trying to breathe for hours. When I asked his teacher why, she flippantly replied ‘I have 29 other children in the class. Your ds needs to be responsible for his own health needs’. The school wouldn’t let me see the head. I complained to the governors and ofsted and she retired at the next half term.

Another one was a student teacher, who for part of RE and teaching about Islam, told my 7yr old ds2 about 9/11 and said that the next week he would show them videos of the people throwing themselves out of the towers. I didn’t think that was in anyway appropriate for dc of that age especially representing it as a part of the Islamic faith so I complained to the class teacher and she seemed as horrified as I was.

Another one was I challenged, successfully, a head teachers decision to deny my right as a parent to withdraw my child from acts of worship. For months he and his underlings insisted the school rules superseded the law of the country. I was just preparing to challenge it with the department of education (and targeting their academy funding agreement) with the support of my local authority when they decided to ‘allow it in this instance’. The headteacher ‘left’ soon after and now other children have been allowed to opt out of acts of worship in accordance to their families wishes. For years he had been excluding children from the school for this reason. It was nothing to do with religion and everything about control.

I think as parents we need to be able to advocate for what is best for our dc so I have no problem challenging anyone, whatever their position, to achieve what I think is best for my dc.

Dorsetdays · 09/06/2018 09:57

You’re right there is no debate. The law is very clear.

Again, that’s why I said the school shouldn’t have allowed it.

And for those who are likening the situation to a formal police interview....god help us if you’re actually teachers!

SoddingUnicorns · 09/06/2018 09:58

So what exactly do you think the teacher has done wrong

Apart from not doing her job, lying about it, being combative and making it all about her instead of trying to help make sure it never happened again? Nothing, why?

BoneyBackJefferson · 09/06/2018 09:59

Case 3: Teacher can't control the class. Frequently had teacher in the next room come in and tell teacher to control the class. I've seen Snapchat videos of this class and kids are standing on chairs, headphones in ears and it sounds like a party. Teacher in next room admits to a group of kids in this class that a complaint from parents will be treated more seriously than a complaint from a teacher like her.

These are the ones that I really like.

Don't complain about the teacher, complain about the lack of support.

Staxers · 09/06/2018 10:00

This reply has been deleted

Message deleted by MNHQ. Here's a link to our Talk Guidelines.

MaisyPops · 09/06/2018 10:01

just
I would hate to be ‘that’ parent. It’s my dc who has to be in school for 6 hours a day and I always worry that it would make the issue even worse.
Complaining wouldn't make your child's treatment worse. We are more than capable of separating child from parent (and in some cases the child is mortified at how often their parent complains. I've done some parents' evenings where thr child and I were on the same page trying yo reason with their parent!)

Where I think people get the idea that their child would be treated differently comes out of attitude. E.g. The students who know they can get home to complain about the teacher, don't have to do detention, home buys them items that aren't in the uniform and then backs them, home will kick off if the teacher keeps them back etc, tend to be the ones who also develop an awful attitude of entitlement and rudeness. They also tend to be the ones who don't work as hard and also tend to be the ones who are argumentative. Unsurprisingly, this means teachers end up speaking to them more for negative things. They aren't being targeted because home have raised an issue; they are being pulled up more because home have nurtured an attitude of 'you can do what you like and we'll blame school'.

SoddingUnicorns · 09/06/2018 10:02

This reply has been deleted

Message deleted by MNHQ. Here's a link to our Talk Guidelines.

TheNebulousBoojam · 09/06/2018 10:02

Me too, Boney. Over the many years, I’ve apologised, changed things, done more training, thought ‘WTF?’ pitied the child with that parent, been in meetings with a rep present, had meetings with parents that were banned from meeting teachers alone, broken up fights between parents. All part of being a primary teacher.

KittyVonCatsington · 09/06/2018 10:02

Kitty, I am not ‘blaming’ her for anything but I just wouldn’t be making my child give up her lunch as well to complete homework set in her absence. I’m not sure one piece of homework is so critical the entire syllabus rests on it.

Says it all really. Which is a shame because I did so hope that you started this thread to have a genuine debate but this just screams of ‘my child doesn’t have to follow the school policies’ even if it benefits my child

LunaTrap · 09/06/2018 10:02

Wow nice to see that the PE in knickers troll never misses an opportunity to make an appearance Hmm

Dorsetdays · 09/06/2018 10:04

We don’t know 100% what the teacher did wrong because she refused to cooperate, got the union rep to answer for them and said “no comment”.

However, I’m not pre-judging anything. THAT’S exactly my point as the meeting was meant to be about establishing facts so that a decision could be made on whether there was a case to answer or not (if there was, there would then have been a formal procedure where the employee has full legal rights to be accompanied).

By escalating that straight away via the union and not engaging they really didn’t help themself at all.

I would assume that the simple fact the person is no longer employed however answers your question?

TheNebulousBoojam · 09/06/2018 10:06

Dorset, a complaint can lead to a teacher being sacked and unable to teach again. So it is a serious matter. Not asking for a rep to lie, just to be a neutral witness who can keep a record and offer advice. Why is that a problem?

SoddingUnicorns · 09/06/2018 10:06

I would assume that the simple fact the person is no longer employed however answers your question?

She was formally disciplined for her part in it, but wasn’t sacked. She left because the other staff members weren’t happy with her attitude, and the way she had treated the boys. In fact they were pretty disgusted.

KittyVonCatsington · 09/06/2018 10:06

I think the reason I was so pissed off is her high handed attitude deflected from the real issue. It made it all about her, when in reality the issue was that a serious incident had occurred

Fair enough! I think you had every right to feel the way you did based on what you have written-I think it just seemed initially that it was merely the fact she attended with her rep that was the issue.