To ask if you’ve ever complained about a teacher

[Justwondering14]

It seems the view is that this shouldn’t ever be done.

I have complained a few times. Once about a male member of staff telling my fifteen year old she looked like she was enjoying that in a suggestive way when she had a lollipop.

Is it always ‘wrong’, then? I’m not a teacher ...

SoddingUnicorns

I think they shared his entitled viewpoint: it's school, school should sort it etc. They literally refused to take responsibility.

The ironic thing was, if we felt his ASD made it impossible for him to remember a pen, we would of course supply one. But we didn't. He was very high functioning, and it wasn't at all beyond him to put a reminder in his phone or borrow a pen from a friend.

Yy about a gym teacher who made DD cry every single week. Our complaint was upheld and DD didn't have to be in their group again.
It turned out that other parents had complained about the same teacher too.

The ironic thing was, if we felt his ASD made it impossible for him to remember a pen, we would of course supply one. But we didn't. He was very high functioning, and it wasn't at all beyond him to put a reminder in his phone or borrow a pen from a friend

Ah that particular breed of parent who think a diagnosis abdicated all parental responsibility. They rile me so much! Because frankly it makes explaining when there ARE adjustments that need to be made harder to be heard because people are overloaded (and fed up of) crap like this.

Twice I think I’ve asked for a reasonable adjustment (one was the weighted wristband upthread and the other was sitting him out of a school play because he had been in a state of panic all day and was extremely distressed).

Abdicates them

DS1 got locked out of school when he was in Yr2. He has ASD and had a statement (aswas) for 25hrs of support.

The TA took the class to assembly whilst he was on the loo, as the class teacher was running late. (The SENCo told me the class teacher was late to assembly every day. as "that's just the way she is"). DS1 came out of the loo, everyone was gone. He thought it was playtime, went outside and couldn't get back in (as that's how the doors were set to operate). He stayed outside crying until they found him around 10 mins later. (This was what the SENCo told me, the class teacher told me a different version which was DS1 "did something strange" and walked out of the queue for assembly and went outside instead and got locked out.)

The SENCo told me that as it was just after a long Easter break, I just had to expect there would be this kind of incident as "that's autism". I got the impression they were blaming the TA which seemed really unfair to me.

The school wrote me a letter telling me they'd reported the incident to the LA. I never heard any further as we left.

It's not that hard to chuck a bunch of cheap biros in the front of a child's bag in case they lose one. I do that for dd

UnderthePalms

I agree. I honestly don't think it had occurred to them.

It's not that hard to chuck a bunch of cheap biros in the front of a child's bag in case they lose one. I do that for dd

I have known kids with a bag full of biros - and they couldn't be arsed getting them out of their bag and would rather I ran around lending them pens which they then broke in half and stamped into the carpet.

Sorry - bold fail - I was quoting UnderthePalms

kaitlinktm

Indeed. It's unbelievable that some children will actually deny having a pen when they have one, but they do!

Yes, Y5 teacher yelled at class constantly, often for little reason like a book not being put away, and I mean screaming the place down. My dd was a nervous wreck, crying all the time, thinking up ways to avoid school. I spoke to other parents and children, got the same stories, everything tallied. Alongside this, they were getting further and further behind on the curriculum. The teacher wasn’t teaching them everything they were supposed to be taught. My daughter, who is bright, was just given worksheets with no explanation how to complete them. There was no understanding of the task. There was many other problems but I confronted him and asked why he was bullying my child and he was very defensive. Anyway some of the kids complained to the deputy head, the parents complained to the head, and eventually he left his post voluntarily.

Pen in the situation you wrote about above I'd have supported you - despite my asd ds having severe executive function problems. That's because he has lists of things to do and is guided to follow them. And he has to learn natural consequences of forgetting things.

He's not a happy bunny tonight he starts nest academic years timetable soon and has found out he has that teacher everyday.
I've told him it'll be fine and been very positive - he's saying he won't go to school
I know there's people who think kids who say a teacher singles them out are overreacting or are doing something to attract this. But I can tell you you only have to see the reaction and stress of the pupils making the accusations in some cases to know there is truth in it

youarenotkiddingme
I'll be honest, I can count on my fingers (possibly even one hand) the amount of times i have genuinely seen a teacher have it in for a child.
It's pretty rare.
Usually if a member of staff is an arsehole then it's fairly generic and not to specific children.

E.g. someone in my form claims a colleague hates him.and picks on him. The colleague does because his behaviour and attitude isn't brilliant (which he admits). Colleague is only picking on him for his own attitude and behaviour. The thing is colleague prides themselves on being 'strict'. I'm a strict teacher who is very firm, fair and friendly. I don't think colleague is strict in the reasonable sense, more utterly intolerant and quite cutting in their classroom management. Not unprofessional but certainly not the way to build positive relationships with students

youarenotkiddingme

I am happy that you got the resolution that you wanted.

However, this response form the new science teacher

told whole table that if anything of ds was found out of place or any of his experiments went wrong the whole table would receive a group punishment of 1 hour detention.

Would have caused many parents to ring in and complain.

Except no child has decided to throw his stuff - so it worked!

Missy you were soooooo helpful to me about the situation. I also honestly didn't buy into teachers taking a dislike - until k spoke to her!
Hoping it's all improved as ds has her everyday in a few weeks 🙄

Sorry maisy it said that too when I typed it

After all that, I'm about to complain about one now! and here I was thinking that it would only ever be that one time 5 years ago. ..

Oh no youare. Is there no chance of higher up intervening somehow after the previous issues? Or DS having some kind of support in class for those lessons?

DS2's report of his school day has me a bit wtf at his teacher. He is a bit like MaisyPops has described her "thinks himself strict colleague", but worse. He is leaving at the end of term, and he will make life awkward for DS2 if I raise anything. But they also have a residential trip coming up and I am having serious doubts about how that's going to go. hmm.

Frayed I don't to make this an issue unless it becomes an issue iyswim?
I'm hoping they both go in with a fresh head (although I know ds will struggle with this) and she follows his EP report and EHCP which gives clear guidance on how to build a trusting relationship with him. The other 20 odd teachers he's had over the years have managed it so I'm sure she can given a chance!

youarenotkiddingme
I remember now.
Yes. They do exist but you'll be pleased to know they are in the minority and hopefully your DC won't encounter another one who makes things personal.

@SoddingUnicorns There are also life changing teachers

Absolutely, my child's current school is full to brim with them, not just the teachers either, the care staff, the keyworkers, the support staff, the additional therapy team, the admin staff, the catering team etc, every single one of them have gone above and beyond to change the lives of the children in their care, sure there have been difficult periods of time, difficult situations but my child is looking at a brighter future, a career even, where once he was deemed to be a failure, pretty much unteachable, destined for a life of unemployment purely because of a lack of knowledge and understanding of Autism, it has taken a long time to undo the damage caused by discrimination, victimisation, illegal exclusions and a long period of time in isolation. My child was every teachers and every parents worst nightmare but did not deserve that.