To ask the bride if I’m invited to her wedding?

[Tohaveandtohold]

I know this would sound entitled as the only wedding I have to be obviously is mine but my work colleague is getting married. We are a team of 4 people and we are quite close at work, we chat, etc and I drop her off on Fridays as well when she’s going to her parents as it’s not just on my way ( she does not drive and stays with her fiancé the other days). We’ve literally talked about it this wedding since she got engaged last year. I even once followed her to the wedding venue. We go for lunch together, meal out, etc like I thought we were close.
Basically, 2 weeks ago, she gave the other 2 people in the team an invitation card to the wedding, I was there but she didn’t give me one. I still dropped her off last Friday as well and we have had lunch together almost every day this and last week and still no invitation card for me.
The other ladies have been checking for dresses online that they’ll wear but I can’t really.
Could I ask if I’m invited to the wedding or can I be invited and not have a card? I know you ladies will be honest and that’s why I’m asking as i’ll be dropping her off today and I’m sure we’ll talk about the wedding. Am I just been silly?

This may have been suggested (I am still RTFT), but why not at work in front of everyone just say

'oh x (either bride or guest as long as bride is there) I think I have misplaced my invite. What time was the wedding again?'

See how she reacts. If an AIBU appears on Mumsnet that 'work colleague has invited herself to my wedding' you know you weren't invited!

I think possibly it's a misunderstanding. Maybe because you're closer than your other colleagues she feels she doesn't have to ask you formally and she presumes you know you're invited. Hasn't realised she hasn't actually came out and asked you to go.
But until she gives you an invitation or confirms that you are invited then you aren't. I wouldn't say anything. I'd wait until she mentions it to you.

What did she say whilst ha song invites to the other two members of the team with you there?

This is either a mistake or made up. I can't believe anyone would be so terribly rude. To accept lifts from you, have lunch with you and you be the only one she excludes, I simply can't believe anyone would do that.

So if true, yeah I'd ask too.

Glad you’re asking - of course weddings are expensive and she can invite who she chooses blah blah blah but if OP isn’t invited and B2B has continued accepting OP’s generosity, that’s very unedifying. Good luck!

I think you should be completely honest and put her on the spot. Say something like 'I haven't had an invite for your wedding so am assuming I'm not invited. It's your call but I am a little hurt by that as I thought we were friends and after everything we do together I was a little surprised you don't want me there especially given that the others have been invited.' I'm sure she will feel more uncomfortable than you do!!

Never forget the lesson of Gluezilla .

Oh, there was also recently a thread from a poster asking if she were being unreasonable. She had been asked by a cousin to provide a service for free, and wasn't invited to the wedding on top of that!

That's really sly. I hope there's been a mistake, no one can be that nasty can they? I hate people like that.

She handed the other two their invitations right in front of you but didn’t give you one?

Sounds really strange.

If there were just 4 of you in the office, and one was getting wed, NO-ONE would invite 2 and leave one out. No-one

It did happen (at least) once before on here, towards the end of 2016 I think. There was a lady who worked in a garage reception or similar and all her colleagues were invited except her.

OP I think a roundabout way of asking is needed. But don't ask in a needy "I thought we were friends" way.

Don’t ask. On the evidence you’ve given, you’re clearly not invited.
Stop the lifts today.

I personally wouldn't ask. I'd stop giving her lifts and if she asked why...is say you obviously don't consider me enough for an invite...so let's just keep it professional from now on.

He'll would freeze over before I asked for an invite.

Th autocorrect...hell

Ohsuchaperfectday I think you had a thread on that, I would delete and block her. What an arse. Op, I think that she was keeping you friends, so she could get lifts from you.

if you're not invited... She's not invited into your Car

Put yourself in her shoes. And try to imagine her line of thinking.
She probably has no clue how hurtful this is. In her mind nothing untoward has happened. She’s invited people she likes and feels close to. She obviously feels differently about you; probably along the lines that you’re pleasant enough and handy for lifts.

It would be so rude (and odd) to ask. Very simple - you get an invitation or you don't. If you think an invitation might have got lost, you could ask a question like 'not long to go till the big day! Whereabouts did you say you having the ceremony?' if you should have had an invitation and it got waylaid she would be genuinely worried and check you'd got it. If she just tells you where it is, there's your answer!

@Sandyy2k I wouldn't ask for an invite, I would ask why I was the only one left out.

@itstimeforanamechange

It did happen (at least) once before on here, towards the end of 2016 I think. There was a lady who worked in a garage reception or similar and all her colleagues were invited except her.

Yeah, but as you said, it was on HERE. I don't think anyone would do it in real life.

I think if she was nice she should have told you the others were invited before inviting them & not you

I can’t believe anyone would be brazen enough to be so obviously using you if their isn’t an invite.

Honestly I think she must have just thought she gave you your invite but forgot.

She’s invited people she likes and feels close to.

Ah, the calm voice of reason making the OP feel better

she gave the other 2 people in the team an invitation card to the wedding, I was there but she didn’t give me one.

How much clearer can it be? Of course it's not an oversight...unless she suffers from amnesia and thinks she's already invited you.

It would be so rude (and odd) to ask

yet the Bride seems rude enough to ask for lifts every single week

ASK

This has happened to me, or similar. In a team of 6 though not 4, I was the only one not invited to a big birthday party. Hugely embarrassing for all as they realised I wasn't invited - apart from birthday girl. They'd never intended to invite me apparently, as we 'weren't that close'. Over 200 people went, I stopped fairly swiftly including her in my things, when I realised I wasn't invited. In the end, she ended up looking a bit odd, my line manager asked her why I wasn't invited. However, she was perfectly able to accept my lifts, offers of support with presentations etc. I ended up moving offices and being promoted. But it was raw and difficult for a while. Lets hope this is just an oversight on her part.