What's yer fave obscenity?

[cjt110]

Of late in my head because I'm not brave enough to say it out loud it's been "Oh fuck off you big fat cunt"

What's yours?

Now I think I uphold the casual cunting

I nearly spat out my tea :)

For me it's Ah fer fuck's sake, usually under my breath at my computer

Cuntychops

Fuckwittery of the enormous variety (used at work a lot)

He's a limp dick unicorn (again, used at work, with thanks to the hilarious film 'Spy')

You're a fat sack of shit (spoken under breath)

Piss up a rope, twat stick (oooh, would I be using this at work too?!?)

LOVE this thread OP!!! Thank you for the laughs!!

Motherfucker
Jesus Fucking Christ

Wank badger.
Fuck face.
Fucking twat.

• Oh for fucks sake (said regularly throughout the day)
• Fuck me
• Go fuck yourself
• Come on you prat/come on you fucking twat (driving)
• Fuck off you c.nt (generally muttered under breath)

Cunt-arse .... fuckin great thread,this !

fuck off you fucking fuckers

“Out of my way you cunt”
I said to DH ex wife as I left the court room .

Shit the bed has always been my favourite
Or what a load of cunty bollocks
I love calling people bellends it really makes me laugh
But on this thread - fuck me pink - that's going to be my new one

Fucking Bollocks. Covers most scenarios.

Oh for fucks sake works well for me too and is applicable in myriad contexts.

You fucking twat is satisfyingly expressive, as are You fucking sack of shit and You fucking knob. To be fair these words rarely if ever leave my lips when talking to an actual person.

A stream of Fuckwankbollocksshit is very versatile and can be said in almost any tone of voice, depending on mood and situation.

I just adore TWAT.

Nice and simple.

It rolls off the tongue...

"By the thrice-beshitten shroud of Lazarus"
From Wolf Hall.

Fucktard! That's my absolute favourite. But I also say 'oh you fucking CUNT' a lot

Mumsnet introduced me to 'twunt', was already a fan of 'fuckwit'.

Fucks sake is said at least a million times a day

Well bugger me with a fish fork said when I am surprised

and my 2 favourite insults are

1. You fucking wankstain
2. Your mother really should have swallowed.

Fuck nugget

I use it daily.

You daft bastard! Can be taken either lightly or offensively, there'd always wriggle room too 'you fucking daft bastard'

You great wanking idiot is another upcoming fave!

"Bastarding, bollocking cockwomble".

I say "bastarding" more than "fucking" for some reason. Just like the sound of it.

Also like "well fuck me sideways with a chainsaw"

And the short but effective "cock!" Usually accompanied by an eyeroll.

Twatface
Christ alive
Piss it
Cunting arseholes

Elen another vote for bastarding, that third syllable makes a satisfying difference

My all time best favourite is bastarding wanksplatt

“How was your day darling?”

ME: “A fuckin bag of wank”

For something fairly mild I tend to just say "Ah balls"

I like fuck knuckle as well.

I also like to say ‘Christ on a fucking bike’ in moments of exasperation.