Smacking children, when we were young

[Flatpackjackie]

Wasn't it normal to smack children until recent years?

As a child I was smacked every day. On the bottom, legs and head (on occasion the face).

I think it's absolutely right that it's no longer acceptable, but weren't we all smacked back then, by both parents?

Born in 1972, smacking was a pretty normal end-of-tether punishment but didn’t happen all that often. I remember other people getting the belt at school though!

no never - I remember going to other people’s houses and their parents doing it to them (and being horrified).

DH was regularly hit with slippers and belts, he seems to think it was normal. I think particularly on his mums part it was lazy parenting.

I did have to slap DD once, she was in a biting stage and clamped onto my arm and I had to slap her to get her to let go! I would never ever normally have done it.

I remember my dad lining us up when we were very little and telling us that we were not going to be snaked if we were naughty.We were so terrified of the alternative that we were very very good for ages.We discovered that standing in the corner with our back to the room was the punishment and being made to apologise 'properly'.
My grandad used to threaten us with the slipper and chase us up to bed with it with us laughing hysterically and hopping into bed.
So no hitting at home but the cane was still used at school on girls and boys.

Yes, I was smacked. My DM now says she can't imagine ever laying a finger on my DD. Times have certainly changed and I bet plenty of our parents' generation feel quite guilty now.

Umm when I was a child being smacked by parents was normal (1970s), BUT being smacked by teachers was not. I don't think I was ever smacked at school. Admittedly when very little it wasn't uncommon to see someone else smacked. But by secondary even that was pretty rare (and it was all the cane, slipper or ruler). I think my Primary Headteacher quietly got rid of teachers who were too fond of physical punishment.

When I had my DC in the 90s, plenty of people did still smack their DC, but it was not really socially acceptable. And Corporal punishment in school had been banned.

Times have certainly changed and I bet plenty of our parents' generation feel quite guilty now

I suspect this is true. When I did ask my father why he did it and why he permitted it, he got very upset indeed. He first started with "I don't remember that" and moved to "I can't believe you'd bring this up with me, it's so hurtful" before actually crying. So yes he felt guilt. But that doesn't change the fact he did it and he watched it happen. That's who he was.

The problem with hitting your kids is they grow up and they remember. And very seldom will they respect you for it. They may be scared of uou and never tell you. But ultimately a part of them will always remember you hitting them.

I am in my late 20s and we were all smacked on occasion, it didn't bother me then and it doesn't bother me now - my mother and I are extremely close. I do have a hilarious memory of being around the age of 14 and my mother trying to smack me (hadn't done for years) and me reaching for the nearest item as a weapon, which happened to be a massive can of hair spray, and her realising the roles had reversed and running away!

I got a little tap on the bottom through my clothes a handful of times. It didn't hurt at all, could barely feel it, so can't really be classed as 'smack' but I knew I'd been really naughty if it happened so I think it worked as a disciplinary action.

Age 32 here. was probably smacked about three times in my whole childhood.
And only light taps.
Would never ever smack my DS although I have friends who do, but definitely not hard enough to hurt.
My 3 and a half year old DS has seen other parents smack their kids and when he’s naughty goes ‘mummy has to smack me now’ at which point I say ‘mummy will never smack you no matter how naughty you are.’ At which point he starts hitting me going ‘smack me smack me’... ffs!

It was normal. And to get the cane at school. I am in my 50's.

I remember being scared of being smacked but I don't remember it happening (born in 1984). Except once, when I was about 7 and ran out in front of a car. I was yanked back by the arm very forcefully and mum was hysterical. I can forgive her that one. I never did it again.

I remember being smacked for things I didn't understand. There was no communication. My mother was a SAHM & I think she was frustrated being stuck at home. It made me reluctant to talk to my parents about things. It damaged our relationship to this day and definitely did me harm. I might have just been a sensitive child.

We were smacked. It was awful. Awful. I can feel the vomit rising in my throat just thinking of it. It was "put out your hands" and a few sharp slaps on the hands with a wooden spoon. Unless we were really "bold", then it was bend over and a few sharp slaps on the bum with the wooden spoon. I feel sick and scared just thinking of it now.

It definitely was normal on the 70s / 80s, although I think it was the 80s when it started to become less accepted. Many parents would threaten a "good hiding".

One of the childcare books I bought when my 19yo DS was little advise smacking as a last resort to get children to stay in their own bed all night.

I can remember boys having their legs slapped for misbehaving in assembly by our very lovely head mistress and I was whacked very hard round the head for saying the f word loudly on a school trip. That was in about 1986, so it may or not have been legal, but no way would I have told my parents! In high school boys would be given a clip round the ear for running in the corridor.

Not everybody was snaked as a child (my mother wasn't, although she smacked me ) but it was definitely "normal" until a couple of decades ago.

Most of my friends were smacked when I was a child.
Teachers would regularly hit children with a leather belt.
The police would give children r minor clip around the ear, but then a lot of violence was ignored. Men had the right to rape their wives, violent abuse towards wives was ignored by police , often called a "domestic".

I was smacked a few times as a kid when I really was rude or not getting the message. That was the 80s. But it was a major event and rarely happened. I always learnt my lesson. To be fair you can't reason with children sometimes so I think it did the trick. A bit like burning your hand in a fire you only do it once!

I was smacked a few times in the 80s and am not in any way traumatised! I reckon fairly common back then and I’d hate for my mum to feel guilty about it.

I’m early 30s and I was smacked. Maybe about once a week, and usually because I was being a complete toad. I wasn’t abused, I had a lovely childhood and I do not have a problem with violence now. I think I turned out just fine.

I am 49 so was a child of the 70s and early 80s. My mum smacked me a couple of times over my whole childhood after she had given me warnings and I was really being obnoxious. She was a wonderful mum. My dad didn't physically assault me but he did terrorise me in other ways.

I'm 50. I was smacked on my bum by my mother.

My friend was smacked on the legs by a teacher because she got her sums wrong. I'd copied her work and next in line. I wet myself. We were 9 and throughout my life I've never grasped maths. My friend is now a Quantity Surveyor.

I'm in my fifties and I don't think it's ever been "normal" to smack children, after all if you did it to an adult you'd be arrested. I was lucky with my children, we sailed from childhood to adulthood with them, even if didn't we would never, ever have entertained abuse. Always makes me laugh at these parents who show children they're being naughty by hitting them, they hit a child, you hit them, so his confusing must that be for them. My mother used to hit me and I've despised her for it ever since, I don't respect her and she's certainly not part of my life, never has, never will.

I'm mid 30's and snacking was used in our house as a punishment for being naughty.

It was never without a warning eg 'stop that', then 'stop that or you'll get a smack', then the smack. It certainly wasn't an every day thing, but it was effective in getting us to stop misbehaving. My parents were older in comparison to my friends so perhaps that may be why it was used in our house.

I don't believe I've had any long lasting effects from it, but it's not something I'd plan to use if I had kids.

Actually a GP suggested "have you tried smacking him?" when DS was about 7yo. My mother, about the same, time told me he needed a good hard smack.

Two perfectly reasonable, well educated people.

Attitudes have changed.