Smacking children, when we were young

[Flatpackjackie]

Wasn't it normal to smack children until recent years?

As a child I was smacked every day. On the bottom, legs and head (on occasion the face).

I think it's absolutely right that it's no longer acceptable, but weren't we all smacked back then, by both parents?

I'm in my mid/late thirties and was smacked very regularly by both parents when small, and just by my dad as I got older. My friends didn't seem to get smacked.

I’m 38 and would have said smacking was normal when I was growing up, although not an everyday occurrence. My dad used to smack us with his slipper - I still remember the fear when we realised we’d done something bad. I will never smack my DC.

Really interesting how this differs. I was smacked as a young child (80s and early 90s), not hard, not often and barely remember it. Think my stressed mum must have lost it. Don't smack mine, but in other countries and cultures it is still very normalised. I've heard it is considered ok in some families in USA, is that right? I've def seen public slapping in france, don't see it in the areas I have lived in England.

I'm 48, and physical violence was commonplace in our family. Daily smacking from an early age, using hand, hairbrush, wooden sandal. I have few positive memories of my childhood. It often escalated to sustained beating. My memories are of feeling humiliated and victimised. Getting changed for swimming at school, friends were appalled at the full body bruises, but nothing was ever done. I was taken into care when I was 15 after one of my parents beat me up so severely that my head was banged off the wall repeatedly and my spine was jumped on. I was only taken into care at my insistence. 😥. I think it has had a lifelong impact on my self esteem and even typing this makes me horribly upset.

I think my experience was quite extreme, but the acceptance of smacking in society then normalised really severe abuse.

I am in my late 40s sob and I was smacked by a teacher at school when I was 6, and have never forgotten the sheer injustice of it. It was a tap on the bum, but accompanied by a snotty remark, and both the remark and the reason I was punished were wrong. That was when I realised adults were not always right or reasonable, and it was shocking.
I also clearly remember the one occasion my dad smacked my bottom, and two occasions when my Mam hit me. Once she slapped punched my face and my nose bled what seemed like buckets, and once she hit me repeatedly with her slipper while I screamed and cried and tried to hide under my bedclothes.
I wasn't "damaged" as such, but even now, well over forty years later, I remember the incidents clearly, and how helpless I felt

I saw my friend’s step-dad punching her, dragging her around by the hair and calling her a slut. That would have been in the 90s. I wish I had called the police but I didn’t have a phone then. The mum was kind of joining in.

Sorry, I know it’s not smacking, but it is all part of the same thing - the patriarchy and male or masculine violence imo. Once my mum got my granddad to come round to ‘sort me out’, I locked myself in the bathroom screaming and he broke the door down. It was like having a great ape out there.

Also quite late to the thread so haven't read it all, but I'm in my early twenties and was disciplined with physical punishments regularly. In my primary school, I think it was quite common, so I always thought it was standard. I didn't talk much about it in secondary school, maybe because I thought it was my fault/ would reflect badly on me as a person.

Since then, I've discovered that it isn't normal, especially for my generation. I've also realised just how much damage it's done to me. There were too many incidents for me to recall them all, but there are a few especially bad incidents that are still painful, to the point of crying, to recall.

I'm always devastated to realise that parents still use violence as a means of discipline. If violence was used to discipline other vulnerable people, there would be public outcry, but children aren't offered that same protection yet (at least not in England, I think Scotland has laws against it. Could be wrong though?)

Even when people have turned out "normal" as I have to all intents and purposes, there is often some emotional damage. I've had quite a bit of therapy and support and have realised that a lot of my MH issues as an adult result from feeling unsafe and insecure as a child, a lot of which results from smacking etc.

I’m under 21 and was smacked a few times a month and all my friends were too. I remember seeing kids get smacked if they were cheeky after coming out of school etc

Im 23 and was smacked regularly with hand or a cane like stick.

I’m in my early twenties and my dad used to smack my bum or threaten to ‘smack my backside’ if I didn’t behave. I think that’s part of the reason I don’t have a great relationship with my dad now

My dad used to be terrifying. Smacking isn't right, nor is it "normal" even if everybody does it. I love him and he's a brilliant dad now, much more level headed - but when I was little he would punch me, he threw me down the hallway, if I tried to block a door to stop him getting in he'd practically break the door down to get to me. It was scary.

Mid 30s and I was smacked a few times by my mum, but I seem to remember it was the ‘threat’ of a smack that was used more often rather than the actual smacking. That, and ‘I will tell Daddy about this when he gets home’, which was when you knew you’d been really naughty. When I was actually smacked it was genuinely just a tap - enough to sting for a moment and give you a scare but not enough to hurt afterwards. I still hated it though.

However, my younger sister was much more... difficult as a child and I remember her getting smacked a lot more often. There’s one particular time that I still remember vividly, where my mum had my sister over her knee and was properly hitting her, hard. She had the most awful, angry expression on her face, it was like she’d totally lost it. That’s what scares me the most about smacking, when a parent is using it to channel their anger and frustration. It must be so easy for it to go too far