Never thought I would end this friendship

[Queenoftheblitz]

Ii have sent this to my oldest friend:

I'm hurt that you didn"t invite me on your birthday. It's not the first time you've done this. I have too much respect 4u to just remove u from my life, without at least telling u why. I wanted to go to your mum's funeral but u said it was a small affair. Then afterwards u told me Sue attended. Please don't bother contacting me unless it's genuine. I'm fine without fairweather friends believe me.

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Never thought i would send this. My oldest friend. We're both 55. Met at the age of 5, first day of school.
She has been wonderful -really been there for me over the years.
But just last week she told me she spent her birthday having a quiet one with 2 friends - facial and a pizza. I would have been there like a shot but i wasn't asked. I'm just so sick of justifying crap behaviour. I need to accept this friendship has run its course. I just thought we'd be friends for life.

OP, other people’s bad treatment of you isn’t justification to get drunk and abuse your oldest friend. Honestly, you sound like you need help. And give up the coke - it will only make you more self obsessed.

Should've laid off the vino and had a 'toot' instead, OP.

This was the most bizarre thing I've read on here. My mum is only a couple of years older than you and I can't imagine her speaking like this and taking drugs or engaging in bizarre fall outs with her mates.
I think you're best off without each other. So odd.

My mum is only a couple of years older than you and I can't imagine her speaking like this and taking drugs or engaging in bizarre fall outs with her mates.

I have an almost 18 year old boy who doesn't go out on the drink every weekend or hang about street corners stabbing people.

People are different.

Jamon, you made me laugh. Thanks.
For the record I toot a few times a year - no habitual use whatsoever.

....you realise that’s still habitual, right?

Glad to read it's sorted Op

Is ‘toot’ the usual word for taking cocaine?! Genuinely never heard it before.

Dinosaur, taking 3 doses of ibruprofen a year does not make you a habitual user of ibruprofen.
But do carry on with your logic. You obviously want to have the last word.

Ah I was going to ask whether you’d been on the wine before sending that text. Put the phone down when you open the bottle ......

So....8 years ago, she was blanking you but you've said she was going through shit with her DP.

You've made a point of saying she's really been there for you.

You're said she initiates most phone calls.

You said Sue turned up at the funeral rather than bring specifically invited.

You can still have a really close friendship with someone without having to be invited to everything.

You should've sat down and had a proper talk with her as opposed to sending a blunt message.

You've overthought this.....massively.

In future, when people are bereaved, the accepted etiquette is 'comfort in, dump out.'
HTH

In future, when people are bereaved, the accepted etiquette is 'comfort in, dump out.'

I've never heard that expression before, what does it mean? I'm reading dump and thinking of 'going for a dump' but that can't be right!

It means that the bereaved person is at the centre of a set of concentric rings. You aim all comfort inwards to the bereaved person(s) and aim all of your own sadness and shit outwards to people further away from the grief.

Thanks Thumb. Sounds like a good rule.

It’s a really helpful way to look at anyone ill, grieving or in trauma.
Diagram from here: www.google.co.uk/amp/s/otrazhenie.wordpress.com/2013/10/03/how-not-to-say-the-wrong-thing-comfort-in-dump-out/amp/?source=images

Don't make a racket, get on the packet