Active discussions

Meet the Other Phone. Flexible and made to last.

Meet the Other Phone.
Flexible and made to last.

Buy now

Please or to access all these features

Talk
AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

See all MNHQ comments on this thread

Original poster

To allow DD (10) to watch Love Island

298 replies

Laceystace · 04/06/2018 20:39

So last year me and my older DC became addicted to the show love island. DH watches it from time to time however we felt our youngest DD ( 9 at the time) was too young to watch it. I personally believe that it's not really appropriate for any of my DC to be watching plus 2 are taking their GCSEs so I don't want any to be distracted. However I doubt it will stop them.

The problem is DH had promised that DD would be able to watch it this year. I knew it was a bad idea for him to promise this however DH thought DD would forget so I went along with it.

Now a year has passed and DD is getting prepared to watch the show. I feel really uncomfortable with the whole thing. The show isn't for children her age. 10 o'clock is too late for her to be staying awake watching trash on TV. I told her yesterday she wouldn't be able to watch it which led to a big tantrum which only clarified my feelings towards the situation. She was crying all last night about how I promised etc. I apologised to her, however she wasnt taking any of it. She felt it is unfair how it was only her that couldn't watch it in the family. I tried to persuade the older DC to maybe give this series a miss or watch it in their bedrooms as DD feels left out. They now feel its unfair to them and that they prefer watching it together as its the only show we all seem to like watching together. DH thinks I should let her watch the first episode as she most likely won't like the show and won't watch it again in the future. However I don't think it's about her liking the show it's about her feeling left out.

I really don't know how I'm going to deal with this it's starts in a few minutes, I'm thinking of maybe allowing DD to maybe watch a few minutes then put her to bed. I just think its a shame that the only show we are happy to watch is trash TV it's embarrassing. I think it would do the family good giving it a miss this year. I just don't want to come across as a 'party pooper'.

OP posts:
sweeneytoddsrazor · 04/06/2018 22:07

Of course it makes your family look bad because it is bad. She most definitely should not be watching it. Go back down and tell your husband he will have to deal with the fallout when school contacts him.

egginacup · 04/06/2018 22:07

I thought I was being too relaxed when I let my 10yo watch Pitch Perfect! Absolutely no way, put a stop to it and send her to bed, why on earth is she up so late? When is her bedtime?

I would also seriously be questioning my marriage given that DH clearly has no respect for you and such poor boundaries.

Presumably there is an age warning at the beginning? I would use that to back you up. “You are too young to watch this, it is for over 16s (or whatever it is)” repeated ad nauseum while you send her to bed.

Original poster
Laceystace · 04/06/2018 22:08

Clutterbugsmum

That's I will make him do. If she's late he can go and tell them she was up till 10:30 watching love island. Angry

OP posts:
roundtable · 04/06/2018 22:08

This has actually made me feel quite queasy. It's basically soft porn from what I've heard about it. That your husband is watching with his 10 year old daughter. Disgusting and very alarming. I actually hope this isn't real.

bevelino · 04/06/2018 22:09

I have never watched the show and am off to ask my teen dds about it.

AnyFucker · 04/06/2018 22:10

I am sorry, op.

You are in an abusive relationship. Your H is humiliating you and putting you in your place in front of and at the expense of your children

Please find some support for yourself. This is intolerable.

Original poster
Laceystace · 04/06/2018 22:10

egginacup

she should've been in bed too hours ago!

Im going back down stairs and telling her it's bed time it's ridiculous she's up at this time.

OP posts:
TheBigFatMermaid · 04/06/2018 22:10

I suppose the damage has been done by now, as I think the trash started at 9.

I have an 11 year old DS and a 12 year old DD, there is no way they will be watching it. I know they are talking about it on all the magazine style shows, but I just tell DD that is is rubbish and we won't be watching it. She heard the introduction to it as DP was flicking through channels and said 'Not on our Telly'.

Parents have to well, parent. Sometimes it means upsetting children, but so be it.

peachypetite · 04/06/2018 22:11

She's 10. Why isn't she in bed for a start?!

Doilooklikeatourist · 04/06/2018 22:13

My DD (20 ) told me it’s not suitable for me to watch , so it’s certaimly not suitable for a 10 year old

As the saying goes .. sorry but you have a DH problem

sue51 · 04/06/2018 22:13

Totally inappropriate. This is no way for a 10 year old to learn about relationships and sex. Its horrible, cheap exploitative television. I dispare of a father who would allow his primary aged child to watch it.

Carouselfish · 04/06/2018 22:14

Absolute orange dregs of humanity. The only way I'd allow my ten year old to watch it would be one episode under the heading of If You Grow Up To Be Like This I'll Be REALLY Disappointed. Also wouldn't let them stay up that late anyway.
Smash your T.V. with a hammer.

RideOn · 04/06/2018 22:14

No it’s not for 10 year olds. You need to all “get into” britain’s got talent or some kind of sport! Then she won’t be left out.

lardymclardy · 04/06/2018 22:14

How would you explain Miss UK's (or whoever she was) post blow job lick lipping from last year?

I don't even think I'd want to be watching it with 15 year olds!!

My DD is almost 10, absolutely no way!

BakedBeans47 · 04/06/2018 22:14

Your DH is a fucking plonker. How about he steps up and actually parents his daughter with some authority? Just tell her she’s not watching it end of as it’s just not suitable for her age.

Irksomeness · 04/06/2018 22:15

Hmm. It’s creepy that you are letting your daughter watch that show.

I’m curious what you do about internet access and also what you do about age restrictions on films and video games?

Is your daughter allowed free access to the internet?

Clutterbugsmum · 04/06/2018 22:15

Peachypetite, exactly my 10 year old is in bed by 8pm and lights of at 8.30pm.

FWIW my 14yr old was up till 10 tonight as we watch 24 hours in police custody as she is interested in going into the police or forensics when she leaves school.

whiteplantpot · 04/06/2018 22:15

I have a 10 year old and I have a 15 year old who is not watching it .

My 15year old started watching it last year , i had never seen it before somI watched the first episode with her and had to keep reiterating to her that this is not what real relationships are about. We also talked about self worth . I told her I did not want her watching it , my DH was in agreement ...we are fairly relaxed parents but this was soft porn.

Safeguarding training also highlights that exposing young children to tv programmes like this is a safeguarding concern.

You need to be more forceful with your OH .

sherazade · 04/06/2018 22:15

It's going to make her and my family look bad.

Jesus wept. He truly did .

peachypetite · 04/06/2018 22:17

OP you need to get a grip and start being a parent.

raindropsandsunshine · 04/06/2018 22:17

I don't feel it's appropriate. I don't watch but from what I understand it's based solely on looks and all contestants are perfectly polished, very slim/muscular, toned, tanned etc. There's nothing wrong with that per say, but a show where attraction is based solely on it, I'm not comfortable with that for young viewers. It gives the wrong message.

Bezm · 04/06/2018 22:17

If I was told by children at school that they stayed up watching this with their parent I would be reporting the incident to social services as a safeguarding concern.
You are allowing her to be exposed to graphic sex and nudity, let alone staying up far too late for her age. You are in charge, not her!
Just NO!!!!

Bambamber · 04/06/2018 22:17

I would have gone in there with a pair of scissors and literally cut the plug off the tv

Your husband sounds delightful, does he have any respect for you or women at all?

TSSDNCOP · 04/06/2018 22:18

It's only 10:20, she's probably gone down the pub with DH for last orders.

SkaterGrrrrl · 04/06/2018 22:20

Your husband's behaviour is not normal.

You have a duty to protect your little girl.

Put on your big girl pants, put your daughter to bed and take a long, hard look at your marriage.