Active discussions

Meet the Other Phone. Only the apps you allow.

Meet the Other Phone.
Only the apps you allow.

Buy now

Please or to access all these features

Talk
AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

...to buy a house that doesn't have a spare room?

134 replies

HouseBuyerTurmoil · 04/06/2018 10:25

I've namechanged because I have a few family members on here.

I'm in the process of buying a house. On Saturday I spotted a lovely house online which I am viewing tomorrow. I told my mum about it and sent her the link.

Her first reaction was "It's only two bedroom, where are me and your dad going to sleep when we come?".

I told her it wasn't a done deal but if we did get the house, they'd have to stay in a hotel or rental.

She wasn't happy at all about this and told me I had to have a spare room for guests and I was being selfish for even considering a house without one.

My parent only visit once a year. DP's parents visit twice or three times a year, which means our current spare room gets used for about ten nights every year. We live in a very touristy city and we're about a mile from the city centre so there are hotels and guest houses very close to us.

I don't think I'm being unreasonable here but when I told my sister about it she sort of sided with my mum. She didn't say my mum was right but she said it was "off" to buy a house that has no room for guests.

In this area, three bedroom houses are about £40,000 more expensive than two bedroom ones. We could afford this but obviously it means longer on the mortgage and also means having a room which isn't used but needs cleaning Grin Plus, the two bedroom house we've seen is perfect for us.

So, am I missing something here? Am I being massively unreasonable?

OP posts:
Original poster
HouseBuyerTurmoil · 04/06/2018 10:26

Sorry I should've said, the second bedroom will be used as my work-space. I work at home and what I do isn't desk-based so I need a whole room for it.

OP posts:
BillywilliamV · 04/06/2018 10:28

You give them your bed, you sleep in the lounge. Thats the polite thing to do when you have guests and no spare room. Unless youre going to cough up for the hotel.

MyDcAreMarvel · 04/06/2018 10:28

Do you plan to have dc?

Nodancingshoes · 04/06/2018 10:29

Well we've never had a spare room. Tbh we hardly ever have guests but if we did they would sleep in one of the kids rooms and the kids would share the other. This is normal I'd think. Do not overstretch yourselves just so your parents have a room twice a year....

PinkAvocado · 04/06/2018 10:29

They could pay the extra £40,000 for the convenience Grin

FASH84 · 04/06/2018 10:29

Get a sofa bed , either you use it and guests have your room or if it's a very comfy one they use it

ReservoirDogs · 04/06/2018 10:29

Tell ber to give you the extra £40k or get a sofa bed for the living room

theluggageslegs · 04/06/2018 10:30

Nope. Your house, buy one that suits you.

If your Mum wants you to have a room available for her at all times, she’s free to contribute the cost difference between the two and three bed properties - although I bet she won’t like that idea either - but she still has no right to dictate where you live.

tickyticks · 04/06/2018 10:30

YANBU at all!!! They are for even suggesting it! How tight of them! Shock

Can't believe they would even suggest you have all that extra expense for the sake of it costing them a couple of nights in a hotel a couple of times a year!

PartyAnxiety · 04/06/2018 10:30

A spare room is a luxury so if you can't afford it you can't afford it. We used to live abroad in a one bedroom flat - guests slept on the sofa bed (although we always offered our room). Could they not do something similar?

flamingofridays · 04/06/2018 10:30

oh god no you are not being unreasonable.

we have a spare room that has never been used, but I assume that is because I am not in a very touristy city!!

it sounds like they want you to have a spare room so they don't have to shell out on a hotel!

If you like it, buy it!

BillywilliamV · 04/06/2018 10:30

Just read to the end, . surely you can fit a temporary bed/ daybed in your workspace. You are really coming across as though you dont want them.

Freaklikemeee · 04/06/2018 10:32

Staying in a hotel is not the same thing at all as visiting someone and staying at their house.
If you value your visitors and can afford it, get a house with a spare room.

Original poster
HouseBuyerTurmoil · 04/06/2018 10:33

Ha, I love the idea of asking them to cough up the extra £40,000

I think the issue is that we can afford it. If we couldn't there wouldn't be an issue at all. I think my mum thinks that because we can afford it, we should get a three bedroom house.

The thing is, I'm not opposed to getting a three bedroom house (our current house is three bedrooms) but the one we've seen is completely perfect for us and just happens to be two bedroom.

OP posts:
scurryfunge · 04/06/2018 10:35

We usually give up our bedroom and we stay in th hotel next door if we have extra guests.

AntiHop · 04/06/2018 10:35

Of course you're not being unreasonable. I live in London so almost everyone I know does not have a spare room. When we have guests, dp and I sleep on the sofa bed in the lounge and offer them our bed. When we had dd, we stayed in our own bed as she sleeps in our room.

CurbsideProphet · 04/06/2018 10:36

Your family is expecting you to buy a house with a spare room just so that they can continue having free holiday accommodation? Hmm

Original poster
HouseBuyerTurmoil · 04/06/2018 10:38

DP is really funny about giving up our bed for guests. We did this previously in former house (which was one bedroom) and DP went a bit loopy. That's a whole different thread!

Either way, DP wouldn't be willing for guests to sleep in our bed.

I know, it's nuts.

OP posts:
MeMeMeow85 · 04/06/2018 10:38

Buy the house that works for you guys.

Infrequent visitors shouldn’t expect a ready made guest room!! Either they could sleep on a blow up mattress in the living room or maybe there’s space for a sofa bed in the second bedroom. Ikea does a single day bed that turns into a double!

PartyAnxiety · 04/06/2018 10:39

We have a spare room (we live out in the sticks so it's easier to get the extra space) and MiL was horrified we were going to put a sofa bed (a really good quality one with pocket sprung mattress) instead of a double bed. The double bed would take up the whole room and would only be used once a year and we need the space to keep books and a spare desk in for when DH works at home. We always offer our bedroom anyway. It was crazy!

Lots of guests actually prefer a hotel nearby so they can have some space but come round whenever they want.

NoSquirrels · 04/06/2018 10:44

You’re not planning on expanding your family in the next 5 years? That’s why I’d buy a 3-bed - it gives you options. Not because a bedroom fur a guest is a must, but because if you lost your job you could rent out a room to a lodger, or if you had children you wouldn’t need to move etc etc

Also a 3-bed is usually more saleable and the price differential between 2-3 beds is low enough that it makes sense if you can afford it to go larger, in investment terms.

Storm4star · 04/06/2018 10:46

We had a "spare" room when I was a child and it really frustrated me because I had to share with my then, very annoying little sister, just so we had a room for guests that visited once a year! For a week! For 51 weeks of the year there was a lovely big room sitting empty while me and my sister shared the box room! (It was so small we needed bunk beds). My mum still insists on having a spare room to this day. Whereas I find it utterly pointless and a waste of space. So no, YANBU. sorry, rant over! lol.

Original poster
HouseBuyerTurmoil · 04/06/2018 10:46

No, there are no plans to extend our family.

I'm self-employed so I can't "lose my job" as such.

OP posts:
Racecardriver · 04/06/2018 10:49

If you don't regularlt have guests or guests that stay fly weeks at a time you don't need a spare bedroom. Space seems to be quite an issue in Britain, the fewer people who keep an unexessary spare bedroom the better.

CruCru · 04/06/2018 10:50

I always find it a bit funny when people choose to buy a house with a spare room then have a longer commute / a bigger mortgage. If you had guests staying over every week then I would say that you need a spare room. However, it sounds as though it won't get a whole lot of use.

We don't have a spare room. People survive.

Swipe left for the next trending thread