...to buy a house that doesn't have a spare room?

[HouseBuyerTurmoil]

I've namechanged because I have a few family members on here.

I'm in the process of buying a house. On Saturday I spotted a lovely house online which I am viewing tomorrow. I told my mum about it and sent her the link.

Her first reaction was "It's only two bedroom, where are me and your dad going to sleep when we come?".

I told her it wasn't a done deal but if we did get the house, they'd have to stay in a hotel or rental.

She wasn't happy at all about this and told me I had to have a spare room for guests and I was being selfish for even considering a house without one.

My parent only visit once a year. DP's parents visit twice or three times a year, which means our current spare room gets used for about ten nights every year. We live in a very touristy city and we're about a mile from the city centre so there are hotels and guest houses very close to us.

I don't think I'm being unreasonable here but when I told my sister about it she sort of sided with my mum. She didn't say my mum was right but she said it was "off" to buy a house that has no room for guests.

In this area, three bedroom houses are about £40,000 more expensive than two bedroom ones. We could afford this but obviously it means longer on the mortgage and also means having a room which isn't used but needs cleaning Plus, the two bedroom house we've seen is perfect for us.

So, am I missing something here? Am I being massively unreasonable?

Unless you live in a cheap part of the country, spare rooms are an expensive waste of space.
In London, you stretch to buy the space you actually need and use every day

Have a really nice sofa bed in the living room for guests. That's normal surely? And don't use that room while they are staying.

You may be missing an opportunity here. Tell your DM you cannot afford a three bed, but if she and your DF would like to contribute £40,000 then you will get one. Win-win. Especially for you!

You could buy a folding bed? Some are really good and don't take much space at all when folded up (the type used by some hotels as spares)? That could be an option to put in living room or your second bedroom for a couple of nights?

YANBU, you buy the house that suits your needs. You can't buy a house just so that you have a spare room for the odd few times it is needed. Why on earth would it send out a message that you don't want people? Who is so self obsessed that they expect somebody to buy a bigger house just so they can stay over once a year?!

We couldn't afford a house with a spare room as we made the leap from a small terraced to a small detached with garden/parking. No way were we going to miss that and buy something lesser just to have a spare room.

Most people I know live locally anyway, but when XH used to have the very occasional visitor, (twice in 4 years) they stayed in the B&B down the road.

Tell your mum that if they want to give you the 40K that an extra room will cost, then feel free, but failing that, you can't afford it.

There was no need to be quite so rude echt
Clearly, my lifestyle and family are different from most people on here. We are all very scattered (and don’t live in London), and everyone has a spare bedroom because as a family we get on and like to visit each other.

“This is an interesting thread. It does make me wonder whether all the people who live in central London / the centre of quite a few cities are seen as sending the message that their friends and family aren't wanted”

I think you need to take London out of the equation here. I get the impression that most posters on this thread live in or near London or another expensive city. We are fairly rural, and live in a relatively inexpensive area. For example, it is possible to buy a 3 bedroom house for under £200k in my semi-rural area.

Not judging the OP at all BTW, but I just find it sad that you aren’t fussed about your family ever visiting you. I guess I was lucky that I has parents that I enjoyed seeing.

We have a spare bedroom and even a spare living room (small extension) neither ever sees use. The bedroom has only been slept in twice in the past 18yrs. We make a point of not using it as a dumping ground, so its fully decorated with bed and small tv. Thing is it looks so miserable if the bed isn't made, so its constantly made up, my partner usually washes it every couple of months. We love the house and bought it before the boom, but even we have to admit its a complete waste of space. We've often talked about converting the house into just 2 bedroom, it was a 4 bed when we bought it but the box room disappeared to allow a shower in the bathroom.
Bottom line, I wouldn't bother OP. £40K is a huge amount of money for something you don't need nor want.

I had parents. They are no longer alive, but I had a great relationship with them when they were alive.

I think I'd just say that I'd treat them to a local hotel room whenever they wanted to come to stay.