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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

To ask whether I should pay these teenagers?

194 replies

Puzzledandpissedoff · 03/06/2018 21:37

One for the Mumsnet jury - I'd very much welcome others' input before deciding

Yesterday I hosted a large garden party and had three 17 year olds to help with serving; everything was prepared, so all this involved was pouring and handing round food and drinks and helping to clear up. The party lasted three hours and I'd offered them £40 each

Unfortunately all three spent practically every moment playing with their phones, leaving me - with the help of two very kind invited friends - to do most of it myself. All reminders were met with "yeah, in a minute", "I'm just ..." and so on, but no actual help

Once the last guest left they refused to do any clearing up; apparently all three had something "really urgent" they had to leave for, but were quick to demand their money. I explained very calmly that I'd have to think about it since they'd done so little, to be met with a chorus of "yeah buts ..." and "it's not faaaiiirrr", followed by numerous texts today asking for their money

So what does everyone think, please ... should I pay?

OP posts:
bunbunny · 03/06/2018 22:55

I hope that you spend at least a week a few hours replying to any texts you get by sending 'I'm just [fannying around doing whatever they said they were doing before getting to you]' replies so they get a taste of their own medicine...

I would also speak to their parents and 'ask for their help in talking to their dc' in making them understand that as a result of them not doing what they were repeatedly asked to do, they not only didn't do any of the work you were paying them to do, but it screwed up the party for you. The whole reason that you hired them was because you wanted reliable people who were mature enough to realise that when you told them what needed doing, they would do it, not carry on playing on their phones while you ended up having to do it instead.

This meant that you didn't get a chance to talk to your guests, to relax and enjoy the party, that you were stressed out and it ruined what should have been a special party for you. If they didn't intend to actually put their phones down and do what they said they would then they should have had the common decency to say that they weren't up to the job so you could have found somebody else who would have done what they were being paid to do, with a smile and good grace, and so you could have had a chance to enjoy your special party. It's not something that you can just put on hold while they all enjoy themselves on their phones - once the moment has been and gone - that's it.

And then ask the parents what they do when these dc are supposed to be helping them but don't and instead do nothing but play on their phones. Whilst you don't actually want their advice, being asked what they do in the same circumstances might make them realise how their selfish dc have some serious apologies to make to you, rather than demands for payment.

WhatIfWhatIf · 03/06/2018 22:55

Agree they should get minimal payment, though, rather than absolutely nothing if they did actually help a little.

DevilsDoorbell · 03/06/2018 22:56

No I’d not pay them. Bloody cheek.

yorkshireyummymummy · 03/06/2018 22:56

I would send a group text to them all and I would be tempted to include their mums in the text too since a)one of them has already contacted you and b)they got this job because of their mother’s connection to you.
I would state that they knew what the job entailed, you told each of them several times during the party that they were not doing enough and not one of them stayed to help at the end. In light of this you are going to offer them £10 each for turning up but you will never require their services again and you would never reccomend them. I would also say that in the real world they won’t be able to behave like they did and expect to get paid so why should you be any different?
Next time you have a party contact me. I will hand out drinks and nibbles, clear up spillages, tidy up napkins, plates and glasses and cleanup at the end of the night for £40. And I will do it properly too!

sycamore54321 · 03/06/2018 22:56

I also don't think minimum wage comparisons are fair. These are hourly rates for someone paid a weekly wage, that is regular work. Not applicable to a once-off.

I think you're being very mean. If you were so worried about "what they should learn", you should have given better supervision and direction. You wouldn't get away with docking an employee's wages without a process of performance assessment and warnings etc.

CoughLaughFart · 03/06/2018 22:56

They are clearly inexperienced and it could be intimidating to wander around interrupting conversations with trays of sausage rolls or whatever.

Not - gasp - having to hand out sausage rolls! ShockShockShock The HORROR.

Original poster
Puzzledandpissedoff · 03/06/2018 22:58

What was the story the girl gave her mum?

Just how exhausted she was after "working all day"; I'm told the girl "cried all night" because she couldn't understand why I was being so heartless "after all she'd done" ... quite the little manipulator, clearly Hmm

sycamore54321 In all honesty I couldn't have been clearer about what they were expected to do; it was all fully explained beforehand, in the talk where I also emphasised "no phones"

I'm not sure, either, how this could have been "intimidating", especially as they've all done public facing Saturday/holiday jobs and so on. They're 17/18 years old after all, and were entirely free to refuse the job if it didn't appeal

OP posts:
DesignStatement · 03/06/2018 23:00

I agree with Kitty on method and explanation - but £10 tops in amount.

CoughLaughFart · 03/06/2018 23:01

Just how exhausted she was after "working all day"; I'm told the girl "cried all night" because she couldn't understand why I was being so heartless "after all she'd done" ...

Bloody hell - the mother must be clueless! What 17 year-old ‘cries all night’ over a waitressing job?

RoseRuby26 · 03/06/2018 23:03

Agree with you entirely. Sends the wrong message to pay the full amount. Be very clear where they went wrong when speaking to them as clearly they are clueless about hard work.

DesignStatement · 03/06/2018 23:04

Crikey - just noticed they were 17/18. They are a seriously manipulative bunch of robin hoods!
At that age they would know exactly what was expected. (I'd imagined 13 year olds). £10 is being generous!

EmmaSwann · 03/06/2018 23:05

I think you've got to treat them like adult employees. If an adult employee has a job and skives off, they're still entitled to be paid for the time they were there. However the employer is entitled to get rid of said employee.

So in your case, pay the full £40 but make it clear you were very dissatisfied with their work - tell their parents as well - and say you definitely won't be asking them to work for you again.

DesignStatement · 03/06/2018 23:05

and -- No way were they crying all night, unless they are conniving spoilt brats.

Maelstrop · 03/06/2018 23:06

£15 each, give to parents and explain why. If there are whinges (you happy to lose friends over this?) then refer them to your mates who had to help out. At the time, you should’ve really bollcked them and told them to put phones away.

DevilsDoorbell · 03/06/2018 23:06

But I would have told them at he time when they were on their phones not to expect payment

categed · 03/06/2018 23:07

17/18 is old enough to know what is expected of you. I waitressed from 13 and if i can do it anyone can.
I would ask for them, and parents if interested, to come to a meeting at yours. Maybe have your friend there who did all the work with you. Explain the full situation and ask them what they will be paying your friend who did their jobs as they chose not to. Then explain that even had they worked they wouldn't get the £40 as they didnt do the clearing up. So at most maybe £20.00 - whatever they pay your friend (who should be paid at the same hourly rate at least as them). That is where they will learn the real lesson. Phones have no business being out for social purposes when you are working. Sorry your party didn't quite go to plan.

AnnieAnoniMouser · 03/06/2018 23:08

Don’t pay them.

You told them what they needed to do, you told them no phones before they started. You asked them to do some work several times. They chose to ignore you. Don’t treat them like employees, treat them like contractors. No work - no pay.

Tell their parents exactly why the little sods are not getting paid. If they don’t like it, tough.

Original poster
Puzzledandpissedoff · 03/06/2018 23:09

Bloody hell - the mother must be clueless!

Yes, I'm starting to realise that ... also the point about the "all night crier" (yeah, right Hmm) being a spoilt brat

OP posts:
mummc2 · 03/06/2018 23:12

Wow at 17/18 these girls know how to follow instructions but obviously used the friends connections to get away with doing nothing. When I was 17 I would would a 10 hour day in retail for £25 (ok it was 1997!! Lol)
I would text the mums to come over with the girls to speak, explain what actually happened on the night and how you will only be paying them x amount of money due to the circumstances. If the mums are decent human beings they will be embarrassed by the girls actions and probably not want to take any money at all (I wouldn’t if it was my daughter)

Angie169 · 03/06/2018 23:12

I would speak to their parents ( just so they do not come banging on your door ) .
Then I would ask the teens to justify why they think they should be paid the full amount , ask them exactly how much work they did , is it worth it ? they are bound to say yes but you need to explain to them , calmly that they did not do as you asked so they do not deserve full pay. I'd give them about £20 each .

MyKingdomForBrie · 03/06/2018 23:12

You need to reply to the mum now and be totally blunt.

‘They did nothing, they played on their phones and ignored anything I asked them to get done. If you need confirmation here is x’s phone number who had to help me out as no food or drinks were being served. I am absolutely not prepared to pay when I have received nothing in return’

Eliza9917 · 03/06/2018 23:13

I wouldn't pay them.

HerRoyalNotness · 03/06/2018 23:16

If pay half with a lecture and a text to the parents to tell them why. Lazy sods

singadream · 03/06/2018 23:17

Can you throw it back at them - email the parents and say 'Hi, I am having an issue here because your daughter did not do as I asked - on phone all evening, didn't help out as agreed etc. Can you and she work out what would be a fair amount to pay for the night given they did very little despite me asking them several times to put their phones away and work as agreed, and get back to me. I don't want bad feelings between us but they most certainly did not do what they were being paid to do.'

That way the parents might come back and say 'pay the little shits nothing' - and if they come back and say we think you are bang out of order pay them £40 you can just do it, take it on the chin and cut them out. If it was my daughter I would be demanding you not to pay them anything.

not read the whole thread btw so maybe people will have suggested this already.

BackforGood · 03/06/2018 23:20

What Yorkshireyummymummy said.

Group text, including the mothers, explaining clearly that they - despite really clear instructions and several reminders - didn't do what they had been asked to do, indeed, what they had agreed to do for the money, so, they chose to not fulfil their side of the deal. A token tenner or whatever for showing up, but still let them know how disappointed you were in that you and your friends had to do what they had been employed to do, which meant you didn't get to enjoy the occasion as you had anticipated.

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