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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

To ask whether I should pay these teenagers?

194 replies

Puzzledandpissedoff · 03/06/2018 21:37

One for the Mumsnet jury - I'd very much welcome others' input before deciding

Yesterday I hosted a large garden party and had three 17 year olds to help with serving; everything was prepared, so all this involved was pouring and handing round food and drinks and helping to clear up. The party lasted three hours and I'd offered them £40 each

Unfortunately all three spent practically every moment playing with their phones, leaving me - with the help of two very kind invited friends - to do most of it myself. All reminders were met with "yeah, in a minute", "I'm just ..." and so on, but no actual help

Once the last guest left they refused to do any clearing up; apparently all three had something "really urgent" they had to leave for, but were quick to demand their money. I explained very calmly that I'd have to think about it since they'd done so little, to be met with a chorus of "yeah buts ..." and "it's not faaaiiirrr", followed by numerous texts today asking for their money

So what does everyone think, please ... should I pay?

OP posts:
Cindie943811A · 03/06/2018 22:08

Of course you can decline to pay them the full £40. For a start they refused to stay and clear up.
Text the mothers and state what you said on here. That you are very disappointed and don’t feel they were worth the full amount and the work was very simple. That you feel you are owed an apology and hope that the girls have learnt a lesson

CoughLaughFart · 03/06/2018 22:09

Yo would have to be paid for the hours you had worked though.

But this isn’t a permanent job - it’s a very specific task. They didn’t do it, so they don’t get paid.

Original poster
Puzzledandpissedoff · 03/06/2018 22:09

I think that you have to pay them as you didn't complain at the time

I did complain at the time though; if it matters, I asked several times if they intended to earn their money or not

It's true I didn't ask them to leave, but TBH I was rushed off my feet doing their job and the party sped by almost before I knew it

OP posts:
AtSea1979 · 03/06/2018 22:11

Dark looks and mutterings from the kids or their parents? Surely not their parents, if it was my kid I’d be pissed off if someone rewarded their laziness.

TeenTimesTwo · 03/06/2018 22:16

I asked several times if they intended to earn their money or not

They were warned. Pay £10 each tops.

FunkyHeroCat · 03/06/2018 22:16

I'd put their parents straight first on exactly what their little darlings had done to earn their money, and let them know that they won't ever be asked back.

I would give them the money that you said you'd pay though, to be honest, and chalk it up to experience. They were there the whole time, even if they weren't doing much. Word will spread and they'll soon find out that if they act like that they won't be getting any work from anyone else.

Original poster
Puzzledandpissedoff · 03/06/2018 22:21

Dark looks and mutterings from the kids or their parents?

Certainly the girls, probably the group member mum and maybe the (fortunately not terribly close) friend; unfortunately not everyone's as realistic about their kids as you are Wink

The irony here is that, although retired now, I enjoyed many successful years as an employer ... though that was in a specialist healthcare sector and not teenagers, thank god!!

OP posts:
Arkengarthdale · 03/06/2018 22:22

£40 for three hours' work? Tax free? That's more than I get and I'm a professional! Yes I'm poorly paid but that's admin for you.

Give them a tenner each for the few minutes they actually did for you, and hope that they learn that actually you can't just spend all the time on your phone when you've been hired to do a job.

bridgetreilly · 03/06/2018 22:25

Pay them £15 each and tell their parents why they aren't getting more.

BewareOfDragons · 03/06/2018 22:26

I'd pay them minimum wage for their time and have a very frank conversation with your friend with her daughter's presence.

chewbacca83 · 03/06/2018 22:28

I had 2 teenage boys help me at my wedding. They were amazing. Extremely polite. Went above and beyond. Stayed until the end. I was so pleased as they really ensured a smooth running of the day. I gave them 50 quid each and a reference. If they had behaved as you described I would have paid them the minimum wage and told the parents.

NommyChompers · 03/06/2018 22:29

Tax free that’s more than I earn - and I work bloody hard! Give them £20

Original poster
Puzzledandpissedoff · 03/06/2018 22:33

Yep, £40 Hmm I believed the good money would be a motivation, and to be fair they were very grateful and assured me loudly that they'd work "really hard" for that ... a total lie and one reason I was so annoyed

Certainly I could pay them the full amount "because they were there", but TBH I'm not inclined to do it. While it's not my responsibility to teach them anything, wouldn't that send a message that you can do what you want and get paid just the same?

OP posts:
Marmablade · 03/06/2018 22:36

What about asking them what they think would be a fair amount to pay them for the work they ended up doing?

AtSea1979 · 03/06/2018 22:36

OP have you replied to the Mum outlining the different story?

SamanthaH92 · 03/06/2018 22:40

I wouldn't pay them the full amount. I would deduct time spent on phones. What have you said to the mother messaging you? Have you told her what actually happened?

CatchingBabies · 03/06/2018 22:41

Absolutely no way! If you hired a gardener and he turned up did very little than walked out before it was finished would you pay him?

CoughLaughFart · 03/06/2018 22:43

What was the story the girl gave her mum?

sycamore54321 · 03/06/2018 22:43

I think it is very unfair to pay them anything other than something close to the full amount. They are clearly inexperienced and it could be intimidating to wander around interrupting conversations with trays of sausage rolls or whatever. You should have been clearer in reminding / telling them what you wanted, so as well as "put away your phone" you need to say "you, hand round these trays of food and you, go fill up everyone's wine glass again". What had you told them about the length of the party? Again, clarity. Saying its three hours long is different than saying "I will need you to work for four and a half hours to include clean-up"

I would say pay them but explain why you were unhappy and won't be using them again. And next time, be more clear and assertive.

If you pay them, you'll have forgotten all about this in a few days. If you don't, you'll risk resentment from their parents and I highly suspect you'll be forever remembered with bitterness by them. You have budgeted for it. Do the decent thing and pay them, with a possible small deduction (£5) for not clearing up.

Original poster
Puzzledandpissedoff · 03/06/2018 22:44

have you replied to the Mum outlining the different story?

No, I've not replied; my intention was to sleep on it and make a final decision tomorrow after taking the wise advice of the MN jury Smile

Right now I still favour the idea of paying them minimum wage only ... and I do like BewareOfDragons's idea of speaking to the mum who's a friend in front of her daughter. Doubtless there'd still be whining but at least they'd both hear the same account, which might just avoid problems later

OP posts:
Lou222 · 03/06/2018 22:46

I would pay them £10 each and tell them and their parents exactly why.

kittymamma · 03/06/2018 22:48

I would take £15 and hand it to each of the parents, explaining that this is a good will gesture to them, however, their child didn't do as was asked and refused to put away phones and left without doing any cleaning up so they haven't earned it. But you couldn't in good conscience and loyalty to their parents give them nothing. However, if it wasn't for the personal connections, you would give them nothing at all.

I'd also imply they could do with the money as they wish, give it to their child or keep it. It is their discretion whether to pay them for a job not done.

Opheliasgoldenwine · 03/06/2018 22:49

100> agree with kitty but to be honest, I'd do £12.60.

Opheliasgoldenwine · 03/06/2018 22:50

Sorry should be 100%

WhatIfWhatIf · 03/06/2018 22:52

I think you should pay them. If you weren't happy with them then you should have told them to go home. I would tell them that I wasn't impressed thought and hope that they learn from it.

But, Perfectly1mperfect, what do you think they will learn if they didn't do the job and she pays them anyway? Surely all they'll learn is that they don't have to bother to work in order to get paid, they just have to complain to their mums?