Did you promise to obey your husband?

[peace654]

I had an interesting discussion with my 90 year old nan about the royal wedding. She said she was surprised Meghan didn't promise to obey Harry, and the whole point of marriage is to follow tradition.

I was surprised - she's 90 but always been a feminist for her age at least, she believes in women working outside the home and not putting up with any bullshit. She's always pushed me to be strong and independent. She's not religious either. She definitely wore the trousers in her marriage too!

I've only been to a handful of weddings and didn't take much notice of the bows, so I wondered if it was usual for women to promise to obey their husbands nowadays? Do people still do it in order to be traditional?

I don’t remember that even being an option, tbh! We had a registry office wedding in 2010.

No. I was married in a registry office, in the days before you could personalise the vows and it didn't say anything about obeying. I wouldn't have said it even if I'd had a church wedding though.

No, we wrote our own vows but I was very conscious of not including obey

😂 no. Why would I promise something I had no intention of doing?

No. I could never have kept that vow.

Not a chance.

We got married fairly recently and I broached that with the vicar as I didn't want to say it - he said they don't include that any more!

Yes I did, I try to.

I had a traditional church wedding in 1990. I didn't promise to obey.

We got married early '80's and the Pastor that married us didn't even raise that.
No I didn't say 'Obey'

DH would have had a heck of a time trying to say I should anyway

No. I wouldn't have got married if I'd had to say that.

I did but the vicar was very insistent that a man should never ask a woman to do anything she wouldn't normally do, and if he did she could break that particular part of the voe

Yes. I’m sure it’s been in the vows at every wedding I’ve attended also.

Good grief, no!

Nope. Couldn't have said that one with a straight face.

Did I fuck 😂

Nope, definitely not. We had a registry wedding for our official legal one and our actual wedding everyone that everyone but parents and siblings attended was humanist and we wrote our own vows. Even my mum didn’t say obey back in the 70s!

Church wedding in 2000. The vicar laughed and said "I don't imagine you'll be promising to obey?" Too damned right.

got married 1996 - very traditional church wedding. family religious. was offered it as an option but it wasn't expected that i took it.

I have been married twice and I never said obey. I would not say it ever! I told my fiancé that I will not be saying it either! My mum married my dad in the mid 70s and there was no obey included!

No. I got married in 1995. Some people still said it then, but I didn't - no chance! We had the word cherish instead.

Hell no. We didn't marry in a church anyway

It hasn't been part of the standard church vows since the 1930s. You have to opt in for that line now, rather than opt out, as I understood it?

No. Wasn't in my vows but I wouldn't have said it anyway. Having said that, I've never heard it in any vows for many years.

Goodness, no. My cousin did though at her church wedding in 2010, everyone on my pew looked at each other in shock!