To think vegetarian dd is being unreasonable?

[Abergavenny]

A few weeks ago, Dd aged 14 declared that she is now a vegetarian. It’s a bit of a hassle, given that the rest of us (2 parents + 2 siblings) all eat meat, but I’m getting the hang of it i.e. doing quorn chicken for her while doing normal chicken for the rest of us.

Yesterday, however, she refused to eat what I’d made her - I’d done a tomato pasta bake with meatballs, and put veggie meatballs in at one end for her. But she refused to eat it because it had been cooked in the same dish as the meat.

AIBU to think she’s being unreasonably precious given that she ate meat for 13 and a bit years before this?

And is it unreasonable to refuse to cook her anything else, and tell her she either eats veggie options cooked in the same pan as meat or makes her own meal?

I actually think yanbu.

Assuming her vegetarian stance is because she doesn't want to be responsible for killing animals. So, no more animals have been killed just because her veggie balls were cooked with the others. No animal life is affected.

She can either make her own, or eat as you have made.

I think the OP doesn't dare come back.

It isn't difficult to make entirely meat free meals for the whole family. Do some families really eat meat every day?

DD is vegetarian and I love cooking and experimenting with food. We eat loads of veggie and vegan meals. Occasionally OH and I will eat meat. If we do I make sure I use separate chopping board/utensils/pan/dishes etc so there is no cross contamination. It isn't difficult.

Yep Veg/frozen ready meals and a vitamin pill. Job's a good 'un.

It's unreasonable to expect her to eat vegetarian food cooked in the same pan as meat. It seems as though you're a bit annoyed and think she's imposing a fad on you to make your life difficult- maybe she will be a lifelong vegetarian maybe she won't. It's not unreasonable for you to ask her to cook her dishes separately if it's going to cause you extra work.

My DD turned veggie around the same time but then later added fish and seafood back in as she wasn't eating enough protein (mainly carbs). Consequently we eat a lot of fish and seafood, veggie stuff etc. If I do cook meat and veggie options I'm always careful to make sure I use separate dishes, baking trays and utensils. I think its just respectful.

As others have said, I would also encourage her to help you or cook a meal herself. And get the the whole family to eat veggie options on occasion too as its very healthy. My very carnivorous DS now loves balsamic onion and cheese quiche, veggie stir fries, greek salad, omelettes, quorn spag bol etc.

Let your daughter be allowed to make her choices. Decide on meals for the week with suitable and agreed vegetarian options. Cook together. Why don't you try and embrace what she's doing rather than be conflicting? Cook some vegetarian meals together? Be interested in her choices, she'll be gone before you know it.

I became vegetarian at the same age (1980's so much less 'convenient' choice - no Queen for example - my, full time working, mum - respected my choice and I went and did the weekly shop with her so I could choose the things I was going to eat that week. I helped cook too.

I would've been upset at my food being cooked in meat.

Is there a food you really dislike? Would you mind if someone served up a dish, containing that food, and said 'oh just pick those bits out'. Probably not. The meat will seep into the vege bit but also it's the principle of the thing. Allow your daughter her, quite reasonable and valid, principles.

Also - you don't need to eat meat every, single day.

LoniceraJaponicawhy should she and so what if she eats meat every glad you love to experiment but most after 12 hours at work just wanna put tea on the table do homework with the kids then put them to be honest

I not keen on vegan crap it’s a hassle my daughter has a milk allergy and most of the soya stuff tastes vile have you ever had vegan cheese

She will also be adding £££ to her shopping bill with some one having completely diffebg fiet

stillswimming your plan is achingly sensible- that's pretty much what we've done, and my veggie daughter has leaped on in terms of cooking both for herself if there's a meat dish, or for the whole family if pasta etc. Working together, expanding what we eat a bit, getting her to prepare salads etc. It's actually been a good move for all of us even though I don't want to be fully vegetarian myself.

All those who are vegans would you be saying the same if your child wanted to eat meat

I am sure you would t he we will cook stake together it’s their choice and we have stake once a week even though I am a vegan you do see it as a issue because you think your way is correct but tbh I think a lot of vegan food is 😷and it’s sole destroying at Christmas to see a nut roast or any such fakes around

Most teens it’s a fad and usually put to bed when haveing to cook themselves

It isn't difficult to make entirely meat free meals for the whole family. Do some families really eat meat every day?

i learnt to cook from my mum - a kind of make-do-and-mend/claudia roden/delia/nigel slater melting pot :D

cooking a roast on the weekend and then busking the leftovers is a really adaptable approach for me but yes - it generally means that the risotto has chicken stock or that the curry might well feature lamb. or there might be bacon in the cabbage as a minor player. or duck fat (turns out ghee makes good roast potatoes). or worcester sauce (contains anchovies, i believe). or parmesan (rennet? fuck i dunno - i do know the "vegan" cheese lies unopened still...)

Haven't read the whole thread but is it really practical to expect members of a family with different dietary requirements all to cook their own meals seperately. What if OP's DS decides to go dairy free or some other variant.

I'm sure her DD can cook her own food but honestly it would just create double mess/ washing up and no time in the evening to just get the kitchen straight. Its like people suggesting everyone should do their own washing.

We have one vegetarian. We have some veggie meals, some meat meals and the veggie just has whatever the starch item is with cheese or an easy to stick under the grill quorn substitute. My view is that as our veggie is so in order to save the planet, having to do extra cooking to achieve that defeats the object of being a veggie in the first place.

The acid test is having to the cooking and shopping yourself just like when children want a pet it’s a fab idea when you as mum are doing the walking cleaning and training it suddenly become much less appealing when they have to walk the dog in the rain after a long day at school

Metoodear I'm a vegetarian and my DC have chosen to eat meat. They eat meat. I respect their choices and they respect mine. They help cook the meat dishes and decide on the things they'd like. It's not difficult to respect people's dietary choices.

Cherryminx 😀at the idea none should do their own washing at the age of 12 everyone here starting doing their own washing or have dirty clothing everyone has their own wash basket

TattyFrench That’s exactly what I am saying she need to cook her vegan stuff and shop for it end of

Once teens they often change about 20 times a day I am not a stylist or a laundry so them that get changed often do their own washing also my dh who has a thing about changing socks 4 times a day

and it’s sole destroying at Christmas to see a nut roast or any such fakes around.

Gordon Bennet Metoodear!
What I find soul destroying is all th people who find factory farmed, processed turkey appealing. What's so great about a dead bird that's lived a fucking miserable life?

I think it is a bit of a fad with teenagers of this age group

It might be for some of them. On the other hand, my parents thought that about me and 33 years later I'm still veggie.

Wonder if the OP will grace us with her meaty presence?

Soul destroying is a Tofurkey. We had one about 8 years ago for Christmas dinner and I swear I can still taste it 🤢

What's so great about a dead bird that's lived a fucking miserable life?

It tastes fucking amazing

A nut roast isn't a fake anything. It's a nut roast. Totally acceptable to not like nut roast, but a bit weird to dislike it because you think it's a fake roast meat.

You don't need a vegan cheese substitute instead of Parmesan. Sainsbury's, and no doubt other supermarkets/shops, do a vegetarian hard cheese that can be used where Parmesan is called for.

Every time you post on this thread Metoodear you say far more about you than about the people you are writing about.
Your utter ignorance is breathtaking, or are you posting goady posts to get a rise out of me other posters?

WhatToDoAboutWailmer how can it? I get people eating things they've just shot, humanely, but a bird that's lived the most pitiful life to be eaten and not even been thankful for? Factory farmed meat is animals living a miserable existence (it's not a life) until their killed.

All the sanitised packaging in the world has separated people so much from the reality of what they're eating.

If I had been born 20 years earlier, I would have eaten meat because it would have been from animals that lived outside and had a life. I don't object to eating meat. I object to eating animals that have been kept in a shed, unable to move, unable to feed and nurture their young and just be animals.

I think the perfect responses to this are:

1. ok DD, I won’t do it again. I didn’t realise that was an issue.

2. ok DD, I’m not cooking two separate meals so you’ll have to sort yourself out.

3. ok DD, I won’t do it again, you will have to wash up the extra pans.

I’d do 1 and 3 together for maximum effect.