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Original poster

Feeling so guilty! WWYD?

132 replies

hawaiii · 30/05/2018 22:05

Back story is that I'm a SAHM. There are a number of family events happening this year that have put financial constraints on DH & I. I suggested DH & I couldn't attend the family events due to the financial outlay involved but family members have very kindly helped us to be able to afford to go as they've said we need to be there.

Anyway, a couple of weeks ago, I was feeling very down about myself and my appearance. I have some wrinkles that are quite bad for my age. They were really affecting my confidence and I didn't want to have my picture taken with my kids anymore. Any picture would be swiftly deleted. The up-shot is, I called a clinic and booked myself in for Botox and decided to put it on a credit card. I had the procedure yesterday but now that I'm seeing results already, I'm completely panicking. I'm seeing family next week who have given us financial help and I really think they'll notice the difference in my face. How am I going to explain the fact I've forked out for this?

If I could turn the clock back, I would never have had the Botox as now I'm completely plagued with guilt over it. I really didn't think this through.

What should I do? I feel like such a foolSad

OP posts:
MaisieDuke · 30/05/2018 22:09

Well if in had helped you out financially I would be a bit put out.

But it's done now and no point feeling guilty.
Can you say someone you know has just qualified and used you as a guinea pig?
Or you went with a friend and they had some left in vial so gave it to you for free?

ScreamingValenta · 30/05/2018 22:10

You can't undo the Botox - can you look to make other economies from now on to 'repay' the cost? Is it likely your family would guess you'd had a procedure? If they compliment your complexion, could you not just thank them, and change the subject?

Now you have had it done, try to focus on the positives so you will benefit from the confidence boost you were seeking. At least you are seeing a result, so it isn't a waste of money - just perhaps an unwise expenditure when you have other things to pay for.

If you can set out a budget to save back the money you have spent, you will feel better about it.

greendale17 · 30/05/2018 22:12

Or you went with a friend and they had some left in vial so gave it to you for free?

^Please don’t say this excuse- you will get laughed at

Candlelight123 · 30/05/2018 22:13

Don't admit it. Tell a white lie and say you've bought some cheap but amazing eye cream. Then make cut backs to 'pay it back' to yourself.

Mirrorwriting · 30/05/2018 22:14

Firstly be gentle with yourselves. We have all been fools at some point. You’ve been a cf, true, but you recognise it and need to make amends.

E.g. your BIL has lent £700.
You can bake for them once a week till the end of the year and arrange their online Facebook photos into a physical album (often no time to do such things after the office) and babysit once a month overnight till the end of the year.

DS lent you £500, she hates cleaning but her house is too messy for a cleaner. tidy up for her once a week for the year and have her kids one bank holiday so they can have a weekend away.

Dedicate one full day a week till the end of the year to ‘work’ for them to pay something back, if not with money, with time.

SadTrombone · 30/05/2018 22:14

Tell them you won the treatment / a voucher towards it in a raffle? Or you bought/ were given a gift voucher for it some time ago and have only used it now?

AmazingPostVoices · 30/05/2018 22:14

I bet they don’t notice.

What’s a huge wrinkle to you just isn’t that noticeable to anyone else.

Leeds2 · 30/05/2018 22:18

I would make sure that I made a note of how much each family member had subbed me, and pay it back in full as soon as possible.

Menarefrommarsitwouldseem · 30/05/2018 22:19

I have botox and if it's done correctly people won't notice.

It it's done with a heavy hand it's obvious but the aim you're going for is people just think you look well.
My friends would almost certainly pull me up on it if they thought I had botox so I'm not just being naive.
After having it I've had comments such as " have you been away" "have you lost weight?"
As they can't quite put their finger on it.

ScreamingValenta · 30/05/2018 22:20

Your family will probably just think you look brighter without knowing you have had Botox, so hopefully there will be no need for elaborate lies.

I would personally avoid lies - if you say it's an amazing face cream, they will ask which one; if you say it was a raffle prize, they might start asking about the raffle. Unless they are blunt enough to say 'Have you had Botox?' I really would just pass it off as being well-rested, having caught a bit of a sun tan or something else non-specific.

Menarefrommarsitwouldseem · 30/05/2018 22:21

With regards to the guilt. Pay them back when you can or offer to help out in other ways.

MaisieDuke · 30/05/2018 22:23

grendale17
Happened to me once!

People who host botox parties also get free treatments.
But I second what others have said. Most people won't even notice. Just think you look good but can't put there finger on it.

speakout · 30/05/2018 22:25

They won't notice.

In the remote chance that someone makes a comment tell them its' the new Aldi face cream you have been using.

RedLily84 · 30/05/2018 22:25

Strange thing to do! I wouldn’t be putting Botox on credit card.

Deeply unfair to the people who have subbed you - I think you should feel guilty. I think you need to pay back the people who gave you money.

Honeyroar · 30/05/2018 22:34

Nobody would guess surely? I've never noticed that much of a difference when friends have actually told me. But you're right to feel a bit guilty, what a waste of money.

15star · 30/05/2018 22:36

They won't notice honestly, no one has ever noticed mine. Good botox should just make you look fresh not frozen so they shouldn't be able to tell. If anyone asks just say you got a facemask from Superdrug.

sockunicorn · 30/05/2018 22:37

at my childrens school one of the mums is a botox nurse. theres always a botox voucher in the xmas raffle. Also a make up one, eyebrow microblading and lots of hair vouchers. I always win the tin of biscuits Hmm. You could say you won it? Or you were a student nurse friends test patient.

Mrsmadevans · 30/05/2018 22:40

Have you a picture OP?

Snowman123 · 30/05/2018 22:41

Don't even think about admitting it.
Eye cream all the way.....

notsolittlegrebe · 30/05/2018 22:41

They are highly unlikely to notice. Can you style your hair differently so if they do see a change they'll assume it's that?

MrsEricBana · 30/05/2018 22:42

100% agree they won't even notice and are very unlikely to suspect you've had botox even if they do. Now it's done I'd say be pleased you feel better about yourself, hold your head high, and agree just say cheap but fab cream if they ask (and choose one to quote as they will ask you!). Don't let them sub you any more and pay them back when you can.

user1497991628 · 30/05/2018 22:45

Yep., they won’t notice, and if you get compliments I agree with the Aldi face cream idea.

Also, it’s not really up to them what you spend your money on, and helping you to attend family events is lovely, but also pleases them.

Relax..,or you’ll get frown lines..😊

princesstiasmum · 30/05/2018 22:48

Dont say anything, and dont admit anything,they might just think you are looking well,and say so, if so just thank them

boilerhouse2007 · 30/05/2018 22:55

TBH i never notice botox done in friends, i have 2 who always say they are mortified cos it is so clearly obvious but I never have noticed it personally. I think you are overthinking it.

PurpleTigerLove · 30/05/2018 22:57

You don’t have any money and you put Botox on a credit card ? I think you have bigger issues that your family noticing tbh

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