All men fancy younger women

[Violetshift]

I think I am insanely jealous. So don’t know whether I am BU?

My partner has started tutoring a 19 year old. He is a teacher but she is resisting as she wants a grade 9.

He hasn’t said much about her. I showed him a Facebook picture of her as I know of her. He said she is prettier than that in real life.
Now he thinks this is subjective and nothing untoward. Like he thinks our daughter is pretty.

AIBU and just a jealous hag?

Most men find some younger women attractive. But in my experience of being from a family with lots and lots of men, they generally view men who actually act on that and pursue younger women as a bit pathetic and sad act.

what so is your husband unique from the male species?? Because I'd put my life on it that if a young Michelle Pfeiifer/Megan Fox/Cindy Crawford type 19 year old was walking down the street your husband [regardless of his age] would have his natural urges.

Bloody hate men for this. Think I would rather be alone or atlest not lied to.

I don't think it's appropriate for a male teacher to comment on how pretty a student is.

Um, when you stood in front of him with a picture of her asking him what you thought?

And here we go... I hear female teachers commenting on young mens appearances all the times and their students [yes even teachers] and nobody bats an eyelid. A man says something and he's inappropriate...

True enough. Two teachers came into my lesson to see how good looking two new polosh boys were

I bet people wouldn’t think it was ‘odd’ if the girl was 10 or it was a boy. He simply passed comment that it wasn’t a great photo of her.

.

Most men I've known to date much younger women have been childless. They're pretty immature themselves and I think kid themselves they're still in their twenties too, almost.

I think, through my own personal observations, that most men who go for women significantly younger lack the capacity to have an equal relationship. They need the power imbalance that often comes with a much younger partner to compensate for their own social ineptitude. I have never looked at a man with a girlfriend 20+- years his junior and felt envious. I pity the pair of them.

Do you hear female teachers commenting on their 19 year old male student's gorgeous appearance to their husbands though?

It's not something a partner wants to hear. I wasn't saying anything sinister was going on.

I think men have eyes. Like us.

I can see if someone younger is attractive. Does not mean I'd fancy him. It's just a subjective (sometimes objective - like the Hemsworth brothers ) assessment.

No, I don't think all men want younger women. DH has always gone for older women. All his idols are older women. Our DDs are in their late teens/ early twenties and he thinks they are kids. I honestly think if he went off with someone else they'd be far more likely to be 10 years older than me than younger!

Why would you show your DH a Facebook photo of her? That's encouraging him to step beyond his professional boundaries. Facebook and pupils don't mix. I'm a teacher and I don't want to know about their lives outside of coming for a lesson, apart from small talk. He probably hasn't said much about her because she's a pupil and he doesn't think much about her outside if the lesson remit.

In the nicest possible way, I think you need help with this.

Because I'd put my life on it that if a young Michelle Pfeiifer/Megan Fox/Cindy Crawford type 19 year old was walking down the street your husband [regardless of his age] would have his natural urges.

i find this comment so sexist if I saw a young Brad Pitt lookalike walking down the road I would think he looked good but that wouldn't mean I would cheat on my DH or even think about it. You can recognise someone is attractive without fantasising about them or desiring a physical relationship with them. The idea that men have these 'natural urges' that they can't fight is insulting to the majority of men and lets the minority off the hook by giving them an excuse for their vile behaviour.

No, I don't think all men want younger women. DH has always gone for older wome

Even for a three minute “bank”
Fantasy ?

No all men fancy more attractive women
That is all my husband wh
Pulsing go for someone just because their young if they had a face like they were chewing a lemon and tbh some people it’s hard to place their age I am black and get told all the time black people are hard to age I look about 24 and tbh I actually find it difficult to get taken seriously because people think I am some young one and I always having to say actually I am 37

''True enough. Two teachers came into my lesson to see how good looking two new polosh boys were shock''

Yep i have often heard female teachers talk about good looking male students they teach and how handsome they are. Female teachers would even respond in the conversations saying how much they envy the teacher for having x and y handsome student in their class. These boys are no older than 16 either....
Love to see how well this kind of chat would go down if male teachers were doing it.

Your AIBU makes little sense, sorry.
He's resisting? Resisting what?

@Violetshift you're just feeding your insecurities now..you went from showing him a picture of her,to checking if his comment is in appropriate,to all men fancy younger women, to wondering about fantasising about younger women and now what they/him think during a 3 minute wank.
ATM all you know for sure is that he fancies you. Everything else is pure speculation and insecurity. What are you looking for? Confirmation that yes he's a prick and the relationship is doomed?

Because I'd put my life on it that if a young Michelle Pfeiifer/Megan Fox/Cindy Crawford type 19 year old was walking down the street your husband [regardless of his age] would have his natural urges.

Bollocks.

I don't believe men and women are so different - do you? I think 20-somethings just look bloody young. I cannot imagine being attracted to someone aged 21 - that, to me, is too young. I am 33. I have no theoretical issue with a person my age (hell, a person twice my age) dating a 20 year old. All I know is that from my personal experience, the 20 year olds have started to look like children, and I can't possibly find them attractive.

Isn't that the case with most of us?

Only in the same way us women all fancy George Clooney. Yep he's fit and minted but in reality would you acutually swap the bloke you love ?

''i find this comment so sexist if I saw a young Brad Pitt lookalike walking down the road I would think he looked good but that wouldn't mean I would cheat on my DH or even think about it. You can recognise someone is attractive without fantasising about them or desiring a physical relationship with them. The idea that men have these 'natural urges' that they can't fight is insulting to the majority of men and lets the minority off the hook by giving them an excuse for their vile behaviour.''

Not saying anything about vile behaviour, i am talking about natural urges-it is not sexiest, it is biology and primitive brain at work. Believe me I have a PHD in science and have written a thesis on the gender differences and teach biology. Men have different hormones to women so they will have alot more sexual urges from the day they are born and be alot more reactive to what they see. Just biology-no sexism here so quit with the feminism. Testosterone plays a big part here-also what makes men more aggressive and physically bigger and stronger. Never did i say this excused 'vile behaviour' but it gives men urges- nothing vile about that.

I don't think it's appropriate for a male teacher to comment on how pretty a student is.Not saying there's anything untoward here, I just think that was an odd comment to make.

It's not an odd comment to make if someone has gone to the trouble of finding a picture of the student on Facebook and showing the teacher though

''Bollocks.

I don't believe men and women are so different - do you?''

They are very different in ways-their approach to sex being one but by all means go and research the role of testosterone if you dispute this.

Oh, bless you. Have you perhaps been reading pop science about testosterone? That ridiculous Steve Biddulph, for example?

D'you know the some of the same idiot theorists who think testosterone makes a huge difference, also think lesbians are lesbian because of their increased testosterone?

but boilerhouse2007 you are suggesting that its only natural that a man should fancy a near child and he can't just recognise her beauty and carry on with his normal life. If you honestly belive that how would you ever truat a male partner. It would be vile for a person in a position of trust like a private tutor to view his young female student in that way.

this comes down to the definifion of "fancy" which I take to mean "want to have sex with" not "find attractive"

No I did my degree and PHD at a proper established University and the research was carried out via proper sources. And no we do not believe too much testosterone causes a women to be a lesbian. Although the exposure to testosterone of the male fetus is now strongly liked to sexual orientation in many studied. But suppose you are going to argue against all the scientific facts and the likes here...