To think I'm not a tart and tell him to fuck off?

[treeofhearts]

I see a Chiropractor and a Physiotherapist weekly for a painful skeletomuscular condition and have done for years. This is necessary to maintain mobility in my spine and reduce pain. I've been with DP for 8 months and he has known about my condition since we met.

Last week he came with me to the appointment for the first time. I didn't consider it a big deal, there is no reason he has never come with me, I just usually go when he is at work but he is off this time and came along.

He has absolutely flipped his shit, calling me a tart, naive and all sorts and referred to the clinic as a fucking perverts paradise.

The reason for this little tantrum? They are all men. And it never occured to his tiny brain that in order to have spinal adjustments, I would have to take my top off.

Apparently I'm having an affair with them. All 3 of them, possibly at once, he wasn't clear on this bit and the massage therapist undoing my bra constitutes sexual contact which is cheating.

For clarity, the (very professional) massage therapist has me remove my top and then lay face down before unfastening my bra and leaving it open so it still covers my breasts. Afterwards he wipes the oil away and does it back up before I get up. At no point does he cop an eyeful.

I'm clearly having an emotional affair with the Physio because we were talking about films that had made us cry while he was twisting me into unnatural shapes and sticking needles into me because apparently men don't do that unless they are interested and the Chiro was disrespecting him by hugging me when I walked in. He hugs everyone and flirts with anything with a pulse! It's just how he is.

Oh and it's not even legal for me to be half undressed alone in a building with 3 men.

Give me fucking strength. AIBU to tell him I just don't have the energy for this shit and to grow up or fuck off?

I have been going to this clinic every week for years! I have known the 3 of them for years, especially the Physio who actually saved my life a few years back by talking me out of suicide and confiscating my medication for 4 days to make sure I didn't take too many of them. None of them have ever so much as taken an inappropriate glance let alone a liberty and are completely trustworthy.

He will not let this drop. It's doing my head in. Constantly trying to trip me up with probing questions about them and my treatment. I am seriously considering telling him to fuck off to his mothers.

Please tell us you will be ending this ASAP

Get rid.

I can't see it going anywhere to be honest. We'll be having words when he calms down and he sure as hell isn't moving in.

MiddleClassProblem that has made my night. I'm actually crying with laughter and really want to know what episodes he was thinking.

It's perfectly normal for someone to come in with you as far as I know. My cousin comes with me sometimes if we are going somewhere straight afterwards. She just sits in the chair and chats, it's never been weird or a problem.

He's obviously bu.

However...I must say, I do find the thought of a massage therapist undoing and then doing up your bra very odd.

I've had to undress my top half in varying amounts for Drs/nurses/massage therapists and even just masseurs abroad...but they always direct you IME. 'Ok if you could remove your top and lie on the table. Could you unclip your bra please, no need to take it off' type instructions.

I would find them undoing my bra very over familiar tbph.

There isn't really a lot of choice unless he wants an eyeful, I can't get my arms that far up my back.

Ah do you know I didn't even think of you being unable to do it...sorry, I suppose that's fine then in that scenario!

SensoryOverlord I’ve had it with regular massages and done it myself when I was doing case studies for my diploma (although I ended up not working on the field). Particularly with mobility issues you might need to do but I’m sure he asked or at least used to in the past. It’s not her first time!

Glad I could make you smile treeofhearts x

X post

Lol you should see me getting dressed! I have to do it up then step into it and pull it up. Anything the least bit tight is like a comedy sketch.

Yeah he used to ask but as I said, after 3 years the mystery is gone.

Physio now doesn't even entertain complaints about exercises. "Ow" is usually met with either "wuss" or "Sorry, not sorry." I think we're past etiquette tbh.

I think it’s over. That’s just a sign of things to come

Oh ffs, now he's pacing up and down outside. I'm finishing my wine, putting out the light and going to bed. That should piss him off nicely. Thanks to all who have advised. I'll catch up in the morning.

That's horrible tree, what a daft fucker.

Unless you're coyly wrapping your leg provacatively around the table and batting your eyelashes seductively so they're all putty in your hands (including the receptionist) of course ;)

What a twatwaffle. I’m with nocool, he’s telling you lots about himself here.

And I had extensive physio on my back last year from a very polite and cautious young man who undid and refastened my bra any time he worked on my back while I was lying on my front. If I had the mobility to do things like undo my own bra while lying on my front I wouldn’t have needed physio!

Ltb and quick. Utter bellend.

Run away, fast!

Go your separate ways now. These are serious, bad red flags. Really. This nothing to do with your appointments and treatment. This is nothing to do with those practitioners.

This is ONLY about your boyfriend and what he thinks about you being alone with men.

Oh ffs, now he's pacing up and down outside. I'm finishing my wine, putting out the light and going to bed. That should piss him off nicely

This is abnormal behaviour. I hope you make a fast, clean split. He sounds like bad news.

Please let us know you are safe op. I had an ex who would get irrationally jealous like this, and that relationship quickly escalated into violence. 😕

Oh god. Honestly, why bother. What a twat. His nice guy act is just that.

Another vote for get rid! I would bet the whole "I'm sorry, I just love you so much, can't stand the thought of other men touching you, I've been cheated on before..... " drivel will appear when he's calmed down. As a pp said it's not just his reaction, but what's likely behind it in that he would see this as sexualized if he were in that situation, and act on it most likely. Had an ex that was really good at accusing me when he'd been wandering! Even down to if we were in a coffee shop and there was a noise and I turned to look, like you know, normal people would, and there was a man in the vicinity then I'd either shagged him or wanted to. And woe betide a male shop assistant or waiter actually do his job and be polite!
Please walk away now and don't fall for any excuses for explanations - it'll get worse.

He sounds like a complete dick. Agree with the others to get rid of him.

Even assuming for one moment that he had genuine concerns over the treatment, to call you those names and treat you like he has just isn't on. He's shown his true colours for sure.

Hope you're OK op.

So glad he hasn't convinced you that his behaviour is normal or that 'allmen' would feel like this. And 'its only because I care/thought we had something special/you mean everything/whatever emotional blackmail bollocks he can think of'.
8/9 months is often when abuse starts slowly and he's made it clear he doesn't trust you, medical professionals, your judgement or that he prefers to go to maximum drama instead of actually talking and listening about any concerns.

Enjoy your summer free of idiot!

Terrible behaviour.

When I was a teenager I had a four year relationship with an otherwise lovely man who had similar issues around any other man seeing or touching my body. Still to this day I find it a bit odd and nerve wracking when I see a male doctor or masseuse, it doesn't actually bother me in the slightest personally (I've had male gynaes and let their male students have a go too 😂) but he conditioned me so much that it feels a bit weird to me that I can go home and tell my OH how it went and not get the third degree or even asked whether it was a male or female. It's so freeing.

Get rid asap :)

Bloody hell. If you’re shagging all three at the same time no wonder you need the help of a chiropractor!